Season 9 Episode 11

A Little Help from My Friends

Aired Thursday 10:00 PM Jan 09, 2003 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Chen: Electro-ejaculator?
      Jerry: Does that come with a costume?
      Gallant: Nope. An extension cord.

    • Luka: I killed him.
      Abby: The patient isn't dead.
      Romano: Did anyone ever bother to verify that there are medical schools in Croatia? Anyone?

    • (doing an ultrasound on herself)
      Kerry: I can't find a heartbeat.

    • (Anastasia has just erased the patient board)
      Jerry: Why did you do this?
      Anastasia: Ergo, God.
      Chen: Ergo, Ritalin. Your blood test says you're on Ritalin. You took it for the math competition?
      Anastasia: These numbers, discovered in different cultures in different centuries all add to zero. Proving the universe is perfect. Proving the existence of God.
      Lewis: Hey, I can't even prove I paid my gas bill.
      Chen: Jerry just... get the charts and put all the names back up.
      Jerry: Make her do it.
      Anastasia: Alphabetical, geographical or chronological?
      Jerry: Alphabetical's good.

    • Kovac: I had made a series of critical errors... About the only thing I didn't do was put a plastic bag over the guy's head and hit him with a brick!

    • Chen: Abby have you ever heard of an electroejaculator?
      Jerry: You just like saying that word.
      Abby: No, but I had an instant-ejeculator once. Tommy Reynolds, tenth grade.

    • Carter: Well we work as a team. We cover for each other. We lean on each other. The job is too big to do solo. And if you can't get that, maybe you should be a surgeon, or a superhero, or something else that doesn't require trusting people.
      Pratt: I've never been big on trust.
      Carter: You know what that turns into? Nobody trusts you either. Self-sufficiency is a good thing, but it's not the only thing. Asking for help when you need it doesn't make you weak.

    • Man: I'm an electroejaculation technician.
      Carter: Your parents must be very proud.

    • Mr. Gilman: (after Gallant catches him and Coco trying to have relations) I want my Viagra!
      Gallant: Only if you want to die with an erection.

    • Abby: And when's the last time you had a tetanus shot?
      Dr. McNulty: October... 1949.

    • Mr. Gilman: (whispering to Gallant) When can I bang her?
      Kayson: What did he say?
      Gallant: He wants to know when he might be able to (clears throat) have sex.
      Coco: We're trying to have a baby.
      Kayson: (to Coco) Uh-huh. (to Mr. Gilman) When you can walk up two flights of stairs without getting winded, (pauses) go for it.

    • Romano: (to Luka, after he spoke with Mrs. Kendrick) If I see you with this patient's family again, you're fired.

    • Romano: What are you doing? Holding your own private M & M with the kid's [Rick Kendrick] mother.
      Luka: She wanted to know how her son died.
      Romano: One word: peacefully. And leave it at that.
      Luka: She deserves to know.
      Romano: What? What, the truth? The truth is you killed her son. You want to tell her that?

    • Lewis: Whoa, whoa. Where are you going? What are you doing?
      Anastasia: Wow. Your face is so beautiful. Is it square? I never know what they mean when they say "square face." Obviously, it's not true mathematically, but I think your face is quadrate enough to be called a square.
      Chen: Sorry. She's one of my Mathletes. Anastasia, you're going to have to go over there and sit with the rest of the team.
      Lewis: "Mathlete"?
      Chen: Yeah, she's on the math team. They compete in math tournaments.
      Susan: Ah, yeah. We used to call them "geeks." What's she on?
      Chen: Tox screen hasn't come back yet.
      Anastasia: How many cubic inches in the ER?
      Lewis: Is, uh, my face square?

    • Paramedic: Mr. Gilman complained of chest pain and shortness of breath during sex with his wife.
      Weaver: (incredulous) Sex with his wife?

    • Carter: Chuny, did you get a beta HCG on Mrs. Wilks?
      Chuny: (laughing) No.
      Carter: Why not?
      Chuny: Because Mrs. Wilks has a penis.

  • Notes

  • Allusions