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Mark: You should have come to see me from the beginning. Jeanie: Why? So I could lose my job sooner? Mark: No, so I could have dealt with the situation appropriately. Jeanie: No, it's better this way. You know about me, and I know a hell of a lot more about you.

Doug: It looks like snow. Carol: It smells like snow. Doug: Carol, what does that mean? Carol: You can smell snow coming. It has a smell. Doug: It smells like burritos.

Conni: I don't see Weaver as yellow. I see her more in the red family. Haleh: Yeah, something in burnt sienna. Conni: Lavender is too pastel for Doyle. Haleh: She's more like an eggplant. Mark: Are you redecorating my board? Haleh: Just a little constructive criticism.

Al: Living with AIDS, that's nothing, but knowing I gave it to you, there's no pill for that. I just have to face it, every day. Hating me might feel good, but it won't change anything. Jeanie: It doesn't feel good, Al. Nothing about this feels good.

Carol: You know, that re-engineering committee's a joke. It's downsizing in sheep's clothing. I should have spent my time studying. I still don't know iodine from cosine. Doug: Well, if memory serves me, one is an element that you find in an antiseptic and the other has to do with right angles... or hypotenuse, something like that. Carol: If that's how your memory serves, how'd you get through it? Doug: Well, he told us we could bring one sheet into the exam, with all the formulas written on it. Carol: And? Doug: I brought in a really big sheet.

Mark: I'm afraid we might have a problem with Jeanie Boulet. Kerry: What sort of problem? Mark: This morning, I treated her ex-husband, Al. He has AIDS. Kerry: I see. Mark: Did she mention anything to you? Kerry: Why would she? Mark: She claims she tested negative. Kerry: Well, we'll have to take her word on it, won't we? Mark: Doesn't this make you uncomfortable? Kerry: Not especially. She says she's negative. What else can we do? Mark: I guess I'm just a little surprised at your lack of concern. Kerry: It's a lack of alarm, Mark. There's a difference.

Carol: Doug, can you help me out here? "If a red quark is attracted to an anti-red quark, is it a gluon or a meson?". Doug: Thank you, Carol, for pointing out something else I know nothing about.

Randi: Gant, can you handle a hemorrhoid? Gant: Not in this life.

Carol: Look, what are we going to do about Mark? Doug: Put him on a plane or have him killed. Carol: I don't think I can take this much longer, you know? Maybe you should talk to him. Doug: I talked to him once, he said he was okay. Ask him again, it gets a little weird. Carol: Ohh, you'd be violating the guy code. Doug: Guy code? Carol: Yeah, of non-communication.

(while studying with William) Carol: (reading) "A man pushes a vacuum cleaner with a force of 70 Newtons at a 45 degree angle, and moves the vacuum cleaner 5 meters. How much work has he done?" Well, let's start with the unlikelihood of a man pushing a vacuum cleaner.

Carter: (to Keaton) You're not sleeping with Anspaugh, are you?

(when asking if everybody had their flu shots) Ross: (to Randi) What about you? Randi: I take garlic pills. Ross: Good for you. Very "cutting edge."

Doug: I can't wait—Weaver and the Sound of Her Own Voice: A Love Story.

Doug: Just call me Mr. Blue.