Season 10 Episode 3

Dear Abby

Aired Thursday 10:00 PM Oct 09, 2003 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Abby: (about Susan's patient Elle)
      This is wrong. You know it. We're teaching her not to trust us exactly the time she'll be trusting us the most.
      Susan: Abby, what is wrong with you today? You practically start a thoracotomy on your own and now you're talking to my patients when I asked you not to.
      Abby: Well, somebody should.
      Susan: It's not your call; you're not her doctor, you're her nurse. So when I ask you not to do something, don't do it.

    • Abby: (The other nurses have staged a walk-out)
      How come you're still working?
      Malik: I'm an LVN (licensed vocational nurse), it don't get no cheaper than me.

    • Patient: (being dragged away by security) I'm coming back for you, bitch!
      Susan: Yeah, yeah. Bring me a latte when you do.

    • Abby: Patients are signed in and vitaled by whoever's working the 'cage'.
      Coop: Cage?
      Abby: Yeah, like a shark cage. You can see them out there circling around, but they can't get at you.

    • Abby: On any given day, this emergency department will treat three hundred patients. Another forty will leave without ever being seen. In order to not get buried, you have to maintain adequate patient flow. This all starts with the nurses: treat them with respect, they'll get you through your shift. Treat them as your own personal scut slaves, you'll be lucky to get out of here alive.

    • Dorset: (to Cooper and Morris) You boys remember the law of LaPlace?
      Abby: Stress on the arterial wall is pressure times radius divided by wall thickness.
      Dorset: You two have just been nurse-slapped.

    • Prosthetist: I can prepare another letter to the insurance company.
      Romano: I've got two letters for the insurance company; "F" and "U"!

    • Prosthetist: How's the stump feeling?
      Romano: It's suffering from delusions of grandeur; it still thinks it's an arm.

    • One of the nurses: You lost the triage lottery, Abby. You got the cage from 9 to 1.
      Abby: Oh come on, no way! I lose every time. That's like statistically impossible!

    • (Abby showing around new residents)
      Abby: These are two of our clerks, Jerry and Frank. Please don't feed them.

    • (Abby is looking for Luka, who's been admitted to the hospital with malaria)
      Luka: He left.
      Abby: What are you doing?
      Luka: I needed to stretch my legs. It's good to see you. You look great.
      Abby: You look like hell. (laughs)
      Luka: Too much partying on the plane. (pause)
      Abby: So...
      Luka: So...?
      Abby: So, I met Gillian. She seems, uhm...
      Luka: Yeah, she is.
      Abby: Must be nice having a private nurse.
      Luka: She gave you your letter?
      Abby: Did you read it?
      Luka: No.
      Abby: Well, you're the only one.
      Luka: I think he wanted to try and explain why he stayed. He saved my life. It's different over there. It changes you. I think Carter found himself.
      Abby: I didn't know he was missing.
      Luka: (laughs) He's gonna be o.k.
      Abby: I don't wanna talk about Carter anymore. I think it was doomed from the start. I'm glad one of us had the courage to put it out of it's misery.
      Luka: It feels strange to be here. I think maybe I've changed too.
      Abby: Well change is good, right? I think I'm well over due myself.

    • Romano: Did you get rid of those nurses?
      Jerry: Yeah. They, uh, they went up to nursing administration saying something about hiring a hit man.
      Frank: Hell hath no fury like an RN scorned.

    • Morris: Why is the board see-thru?
      Abby: So we can see through it.
      Frank: Remind me not to get sick anytime soon.

    • Romano: (to Abby) Fecal impaction in 4 needs some good old fashioned finger-digging. Enjoy!

    • Abby: Congratulations, you just saved your first resident.

    • Abby: Since when did I become the guru of sluttiness?

    • Romano: You really are one grade-A bitch, you know that Kerry?
      Weaver: No, Robert, I'm your boss, and as long as I am, you're my bitch. Now get your ass back to work.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Frank: Hell hath no fury like an RN scorned.
      This refers to the popular saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," a proverb adapted from a line in the play The Mourning Bride, by William Congreve, an English author of the late seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries. The actual lines in his work read "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned/ Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

    • Title: "Dear Abby"
      This title is a twist on the "Dear John" letter, generally written by a woman to her boyfriend or husband wherein she tells him that their relationship is over, usually because she has found someone else.