ER

(after taking Romano's robotic hand) Sam: I've got a rule against ass grabbing. Susan: That's a good rule.

Romano: (to Gallant) I just finished your eval. You'd better practice these words: paper or plastic?

Pratt: All right. So what did I miss? Romano: Your calling as a hoodlum. Here. Prison stabbing. That ought to be right up your alley.

Pratt: Hey. What the hell you doing here? Morris: Working. Pratt: I thought you quit. Morris: Oh, my dad wouldn't let me. Said he'd pull the money plug if I didn't see this thing through. Pratt: This thing, meaning a career in medicine? Morris: Yeah.

(Sam removes the hand on Romanos prosthetic arm after it grabs her ass) Susan: What are you doing? Sam: He just grabbed my ass! Here, takes this to church and have it exorcised. (hands Susan the hand and walks away) Romano: That's right, you keep walking! Right up to the nursing directors office, 'cause by the time you get there, there'll be a pink slip waiting for you. Sam: Good! Give me plenty of time to file my sexual harassment lawsuit! Romano: (to Susan) Do you mind? Susan: Yes I do. You can have it back by the end of the day if you learn to behave! Romano: Give me my damned hand back!

Alex: What's a prolapsed rectum? Lewis: Shouldn't you be reading Harry Potter or something?

Romano: Times up, where's my hand? Lewis: It's in the women's bathroom in the tampon machine. Get it yourself.

Romano: (to Susan) Pratt is a rabid dog that needs to be taken outside and shot before he infects the rest of the staff.

Romano: HEY, do I have to remind you I'm in charge here? Lewis: You'll have to convince me first.

Susan: You can only take so much of the blame, you didn't give her cancer Gallant: Then why don't I feel any better