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Dr. Elizabeth Corday
Nurse Sam Taggart
Dr. Greg Pratt
Dr. Jing-Mei "Deb" Chen
Dr. Archie Morris
At 40:48 a sign on the wall can be seen which says, "Quizá necesites lentes. O quizá sea un ataque al cerebro." This is Spanish for:
"You may need glasses. Or it may be a stroke."
Romano: (to Gallant) I'll give reductions to residents like you with two paws and half a brain.
Neela: Excuse me, Dr. Romano. May I speak with you privately?
Romano: You're already my favorite, you want people to talk?
Romano: (to Abby) Ah, the Helen Keller of County. I hear you missed a skull fracture today. Keep it up, you'll be back to 'code browns' in no time.
Luka: (About Mr. Presky's perforated appendix) He was given discharge instructions and came back as directed. The system worked.
Corday: Oh, for you, maybe. But he'll be subjected to a riskier surgery and I'll miss dinner with my daughter. Score one for your bloody mission.
Pratt: Dr. Romano, you got a minute?
Romano: I've got ten patients of my own and six med students I'm avoiding like the plague. You think it looks like I have a minute?
Pratt: I need you to do a rape kit.
Romano: I didn't see anything on the board.
Pratt: Came in with a knife wound, he didn't tell us at first.
Pratt: The prisoner you gave me earlier? He has some rectal bleeding.
Romano: Oh. Well, you go ahead. I'll sign off on it.
Pratt: No. Per legal, an Attending's supposed to do all rape exams.
Romano: It'll be our little secret.
Pratt: Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute! You're always all over me for this, that, and the other protocol, and now you want me to do a procedure which requires me-
Romano: What, are you all of a sudden Mr. By the Book? This is not a stretch for you, Pratt. Just do it. Break the rules, you're good at it.
Mr. Persky: I thought you said it was appendicitis?
Luka: Not if you can stomach that much hospital food.
Susan: Nice assessment.
Abby: You never compliment me like that.
Susan: Like what?
Abby: "Nice assessment".
Susan: I do.
Abby: No, you don't.
Susan: ...I don't?
Susan: I give you my time which is the highest form of a compliment.
Romano: Okay, here's a real time-waster: transport from Gelden. Stable twelve year old hemonker with fever.
Corday: Is that the community hospital on the east side?
Romano: Yeah, otherwise known as a glorified doc-in-a-box. Who's expendable? (turns to Abby) Well, you are, but since you're neither fish nor fowl, you're useless even on a mindless transport.
Romano: Ah, eureka. Our affirmative action hero (Gallant) and our sultry hand thief. (Sam) Go with God, but more importantly, just go.
Sam: My kid's here and I don't have a sitter.
Romano: Oh and that's my problem, how?
Luka: The nurses can take care of him in the lounge until you get back. Right, Chuny?
Chuny: Sure, no problem.
Romano: Okay, fine. That's settled. Ebony and Ivory can go off into the sunset and maybe the rest of us can get a little work done around here without being stared at.
Susan: (to Abby about Romano) I don't think his mom loved him very much.
Sam: You okay?
Ben Hollander: Me? Oh yeah. Blind, getting blinder every day. Life is good.
Frank: (Romano has a different attachment to replace the hand Susan hid) What happened to your other gizmo?
Susan: It's being punished for being naughty.
Romano: Yeah. Enough fun and games, where is it?
Ben Hollander: I could do without smelling dog poop again or stepping in it.
Susan: Housebreaking not going so well?
Ben Hollander: No, it's fine. And thanks.
Susan: For what?
Ben Hollander: The dog. He laughs at all my jokes, licks my feet. I think I'm in love.
Romano: Hey, Abby. Guy over here needs a foley. Oh, oh, wait. I'm sorry, you're playing doctor today. Okay, nevermind. I'll find a nurse who's not kidding herself. (turns and sees Sam) Here's one now. Mom, right? Uh, there's good news and bad news: the bad news is my enlarged prostate guy needs a tube shoved up his urethra. The good news is he gets to have you in his penis.
Susan: (to Romano) I absolutely positively have to take my lunch hour today; I'm being audited.
Romano: I didn't know we paid you enough to get audited.
Susan: You don't.
Romano: (Sees Sam's son Alex sitting on the desk) Hey! Teen mom, newsflash: This is not daycare, okay? Eighty-six the love child and stop tying up the phone lines.
Sam: (to Alex) The next time you decide to put a marker on your face, can you do it before school so I can get a sitter?
Alex: That means I can stay here?
Sam: Only until I can find one. Now, go to the lounge and do something normal, like homework.
Chen: (Romano's robotic hand grabs Chen's ass) Hey!
Romano: It's an electrical malfunction.
Chen: Only on women?
Romano: It happens!
(after Sam talks to Luka about her kid)
Abby: What was that all about?
Luka: Over protective mother. (pause) Still on surgical rotation?
Abby: No, I start my ER rotation today.
Luka: Welcome home!
(after taking Romano's robotic hand)
Sam: I've got a rule against ass grabbing.
Susan: That's a good rule.
Romano: (to Gallant) I just finished your eval. You'd better practice these words: paper or plastic?
Pratt: All right. So what did I miss?
Romano: Your calling as a hoodlum. Here. Prison stabbing. That ought to be right up your alley.
Pratt: Hey. What the hell you doing here?
Pratt: I thought you quit.
Morris: Oh, my dad wouldn't let me. Said he'd pull the money plug if I didn't see this thing through.
Pratt: This thing, meaning a career in medicine?
(Sam removes the hand on Romanos prosthetic arm after it grabs her ass)
Susan: What are you doing?
Sam: He just grabbed my ass! Here, takes this to church and have it exorcised. (hands Susan the hand and walks away)
Romano: That's right, you keep walking! Right up to the nursing directors office, 'cause by the time you get there, there'll be a pink slip waiting for you.
Sam: Good! Give me plenty of time to file my sexual harassment lawsuit!
Romano: (to Susan) Do you mind?
Susan: Yes I do. You can have it back by the end of the day if you learn to behave!
Romano: Give me my damned hand back!
Alex: What's a prolapsed rectum?
Lewis: Shouldn't you be reading Harry Potter or something?
Romano: Times up, where's my hand?
Lewis: It's in the women's bathroom in the tampon machine. Get it yourself.
Romano: (to Susan) Pratt is a rabid dog that needs to be taken outside and shot before he infects the rest of the staff.
Romano: HEY, do I have to remind you I'm in charge here?
Lewis: You'll have to convince me first.
Susan: You can only take so much of the blame, you didn't give her cancer
Gallant: Then why don't I feel any better
Susan: What pleasure could you possibly get from humiliating people
Romano: It's called fun, you should try it some time
Romano: Ebony and Ivory (Gallant and Sam) can go off into the sunset and maybe the rest of us can get a little work done around here without being stared at.
"Ebony and Ivory" is a 1982 duet by Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney about racial integration and harmony. Gallant represents the ebony because he is black and Sam represents the ivory because she is white.
The game Alex and his friend are playing is the crossover fighting game Super Smash Bros. It was developed by HAL Laboratory and published by Nintendo for the Nintendo 64.
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