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Joey: Is my brother gonna die?
Ross: No, he is not! No, he is not!
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Morgenstern: There are reporters crawling all over this place like ants.
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Greene: Did you get the job?
Ross: 90 grand a year and nobody dies. Hallelujah, auf Wiedersehen, I'll see you around.
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(while in the pediatric office waiting room)
Little girl: Did you get a new job?
Ross: Yes, I did—giving big shots to little girls.
(little girl starts crying)
Ross: Big shots! There you go.
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(while watching a live news report about the rescue)
Greene: What's she doing in the ambulance bay?
Carol: Ugh. TV doctors.
Greene: Jerry, get security to escort Dr. Mahoney to a less conspicuous location.
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Mrs. Phillips: We won't be needing your surgeon after all. I called my own.
Mr. Phillips: Who?
Mrs. Phillips: Fred.
Mr. Phillips: Fred Mendoza? He'll cost a fortune!
Mrs. Phillips: It's only your daughter's face!
Mr. Phillips: I hate him. That's why you called him.
Mrs. Phillips: He's the best in the city.
Mr. Phillips: On lopsided breasts.
Mrs. Phillips: (slaps him)
Mr. Phillips: Touchy subject.
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Greene: (About Doom II, the game the ER staff is playing at the admit desk) I've done thoracotomies that were less bloody.
Jerry:(To Carol) He just dosen't understand the educational value.