Carol: (to Jeanie) I swallowed a bunch of pills a few years ago. When I got back to work, people either smothered me with kindness or treated me like I was invisible. If we aren't friends, maybe we should be.
Mark: Jeanie, you're a great P.A. You're an asset to the ER.
Mark: But nothing. I think you should stay.
Jeanie: And do my job, not do clerical work?
Mark: Yeah, within the limits that we set earlier.
Jeanie: But you still wouldn't want me suturing your daughter.
Mark: I don't know.
Carol: I wish I'd known.
Jeanie: Why? Would it have made us friends?
Carol: Now, that's not fair.
Jeanie: Nothing is.
Greene: Who's next?
Chuny: Ho, ho, ho.
Greene: Santa Claus?
Chuny: No, that's who's next; three hookers.
Weaver: We're talking policy here, people. "Employee X" could be any one of us.
Jeanie: Excuse me... Just would everyone stop calling me "Employee X"? I am HIV-positive.
(Jeanie puts a star on top of the ER's Christmas tree)
Doyle: It looks good. Where'd you get it?
Jeanie: My ex-husband brought it by. It came off our first Christmas tree.
Doyle: That's an heirloom. You should put it on your family tree.
Jeanie: (with a smile) I just did.
Carter: Don't they have Dr. Seuss in Pakistan?
Keaton: I don't think it's a priority.
(talking about shopping for Rachel's Christmas present)
Mark: I don't know who Duke Nukem was, but he looked pretty nasty.
Duke Nukem is an action hero created for a first-person shooter computer game developed by 3D Realms and published by Apogee Software.