ER Season 8 Episode 7

(Carter tells Susan about his past drug addiction)
Susan: Fentanyl?
Carter: Figured if I was going to abuse drugs, I'd abuse a good one.

Abby: Every now and then, some freak tries to off himself in here. I wish they'd just do it at home.

Susan: I need a Psych consult. My patient thinks he's a vampire.
Abby: Count Fred? Where is he?
Susan: Exam 2.
Abby: Is there a nurse in there with him?
Susan: No. Why?
Abby: He's a vampire.
Susan: What do you mean he's a vampire?
Abby: I mean, he drinks people's blood.
Susan: You're kidding, right?
(Abby, Gallant and Susan see Count Fred on the floor drinking with a straw from a pack of blood. He smiles shyly. They watch him in astonishment.)
Susan: That's nasty.

Gallant: Excuse me, ma'am. Are you Dr. Carter by any chance?
Lewis: Lewis. I don't think he's in yet. And I'm not old enough to be a ma'am.
Gallant: Sorry about that. I'm supposed to meet him here around eight.
Lewis: Mmm, you're a tad early.
Gallant: Yeah, it's my first day. I guess I was a little excited.
Lewis: You'll get over it.

Patient: All my problems started when I met this girl in an after-hours bar. She bit me.
Dr. Lewis: She bit you where?
Patient: In the alley outside the club.
Dr. Lewis: No. Where on your body?
Patient: My neck. I'm pretty sure she was a vampire.
Dr. Lewis: That's a hickey.

Abby: We've all cried. Sometimes it's the only thing you can do.

Carter: You know, I used to have a crush on you?
Lewis: Used to???
Carter: It's all coming back to me.

Frank: How come there's no donuts in the lounge?
Abby: No petty cash.
Frank: There was 50-bucks in there yesterday!

Romano: You're scaring me, Peter. You're not your usual jolly self today. You haven't developed a drug addiction or a drinking problem like the rest of your misfit buddies in the E.R., have you?
Benton: Nope.
Romano: Give it time.

Gallant: What's the most unusual medical case you have ever seen?
Greene: I had a guy with a live bullfrog shoved in his ass once.