ER

Sam Gasner: You feel crummy waiting around for a kid to smash up his car so you can get his heart.

(Mark is on the phone with his wife; Susan, Doug and Carol are standing next to him) Mark: Jenn, I can't get out. I've got two residents on double shifts. I'll be home before Rachel goes to bed. Susan: (to Doug and Carol) Tell Mark to go see his wife. Doug: Go see your wife. Mark: (still on the phone) Why can't you tell me over the phone? Doug: Hey, hang on. (he takes the phone from Mark) Jenn? Hi, it's Doug. Can you hang on a second? (he puts the phone down and turns to Mark) We can survive without you. (he gives the phone back to him) Mark: (to Jenn) I'll meet you there, alright? Bye. Thank you. I know you can survive without me.

(Benton is listening to something on his Walkman) Carter: What are you listening to? Benton: (with seriousness) Snoop Doggy Dogg. Susan: "Trends in Cardiac Surgery, Volume II."

Doug: Good morning, Susan. Susan: It's afternoon. Doug: I knew that. Susan: Your brain's rotted.

Doug: Where's Benton? Haleh: Am I his travel agent?

Carol: Doug, they called from Neonatal if you want to take a look at the Niemeyer preemie. He's going to be okay. Ross: God smiled on him. Carol: Since when do you believe in God? Ross: Well, I've been contemplating my insignificance in the universe. Carol: I thought you were the center of the universe. Ross: Not always.

Ivan Gregor: In Russia, it's crazy. You need case of vodka to get good doctor. God bless America.

Jerry: Will you look at this board? Carol: Don't worry. It'll get quieter later. Jerry: Uh, don't say the "q" word. You'll start a stampede.

Sam Gasner: How's your heart? Mark: Pretty good shape. Sam Gasner: Want to lend it to me for the weekend? Nah, you got better things to do with it. Do 'em all. You never know when you'll get the chance.

Carter: (about Benton) What's he doing? Susan: Practicing one-handed knots. He'd do it with his teeth if he could. Benton: No, I wouldn't. You can't wear a glove on your teeth.

(paramedics have just brought in Sam Gasner) Greene: I thought this guy was in full arrest. Gasner: I was, until they fried my chest hairs.

Doug: (to Carter) Read books of diseases, you start thinking you have them.

Sarah: My mom says my dad's gonna die. Greene: Yes, he is. Sarah: Why can't you fix him? Greene: We can't fix everything.

Doug: Old company saying, Carter--don't dip your pen in the company ink.