ER

(Abby is looking for an apartment) Malik: There's an old lady who's been sick on my floor. Abby: I don't know if I want to live in an apartment where somebody died. Malik: All you need is some Lysol and some air freshener and it's all good!

Romano: (to Corday) I'm beginning to think that ER stands for "everybody's retarded."

Gallant: Is there a lost and found box? Haleh: Yeah--someone stole it.

(Discussing Mark's brain tumor) Mark: Let them figure it out. Susan: So, you're going to keep this a secret and act like nothing's wrong until you pass out in public? Mark: The moment you tell them, they start treating you differently. They start giving you that look. Susan: What look? Mark: That look. That look like you're half-dead...like you're already gone. Believe me, I've seen it before.

(Jerry and Frank are discussing Frank's police buddies running a background check on Chen's friend) Frank: Malcontent. Jerry: Psycho-facist. Frank: Now, that's it! Chen: Hey, settle down you two! Frank: No, no...you wanna start something, tough guy? Jerry: Bring it on, Gramps! Frank: Gramps? (Jerry and Frank start fighting)

(Abby goes to Luka's after seeing Brian going into her apartment block. A girl answers the door, so she turns to leave, but Luka calls her back) Abby: I'll see you tomorrow... Luka: No, you need a place to stay, let me help. Abby: It's ok really Luka: Please, for me, look, I need you. They are kicking my ass at Pictionary! Come on...

(Abby, Chuny and Malik are discussing apartments) Luka: Are you moving? Abby: Yeah. The freak who hit me moved back in. Luka: You can stay at my place till you find something else. Abby: Thanks. I don't know if that's a good idea. Luka: Why not? Chuny: Yeah, Abby. Why not? Abby: Don't you guys have something to do? (Abby and Luka walk into the hall) Luka: You should'nt have to leave your own place. I mean, he should be forced to move. Abby: He'll be in jail soon. I just don't know if I wanna live there after all this. What's with the car? Luka: Like it? Abby: It's kinda flashy. Luka: You only live once. Abby: Not if you keep driving like a maniac... You look kinda tired. Luka: Yeah. I was up late. Abby: Really? What's her name? Luka: Who? Abby: It's a joke, Luka. Luka: No, seriously. If you need a place. Abby: Thank you. Luka: You can stay as long as you need, and you only have to sleep with me on the weekends. Abby: Excuse me? Luka: It's a joke, Abby. It's a joke.

Susan: (to Mark) I'm taking you home right now, or I'm ratting you out to Weaver. What's it gonna be?

Carter: (to Abby, about Luka's black Viper) Nice car. Did he get the leopard print interior?

Greene: So, what are my options, other than sticking a shotgun in my mouth?

Mark: Oh God, I can't close my eye. Susan: I know of cowboys who sleep with one eye open. Mark: I'm glad you think this is funny.

Lewis: You have to eat. Greene: That's right, starve a cold, feed a tumor.

Frank: (to Weaver) I'm afraid somebody's pulling your leg there chief... so to speak...

Frank: (to Abby) You know lawyers; they're half as smart as doctors, but twice as sneaky.

Chen: You give a guy a hand release during Harry Potter and he wants to marry you!