ER

Jeanie: If you had tested positive, you would've quit? Benton: In a minute. Jeanie: Yeah, but you didn't test positive, did you.

(the staff is celebrating County's survival) Mark: I was just thinking how unusual it is to see our whole ensemble this happy. Jeanie: Especially about keeping a job where people puke on you.

Mark: All right. I told Susan Lewis about the staff meeting. Kerry: I told Jeanie Boulet, Malik and Carter. I figure if you don't tell Doug Ross, then you're okay.

Weaver: (about Anspaugh) You know him? Morgenstern: I did two years of Residency at Hennepin with him. The guy's completely lumpy. Weaver: Well, I rather like him. Morgenstern: Give it time. He eats med students for breakfast, residents for lunch and the attendings are who he chews up for dinner.

Kerry: You know, Mark, just because it's my suggestion it doesn't, by definition, make it a bad idea. (she walks away) Susan: (to Mark) She just has a way of making you feel very small, doesn't she?

E-Ray: The key to landing a good job is presentation. Jerry: I'm not going to dress like you, if that's what you're talking about. E-Ray: (reading Jerry's résumé out loud) "Two summers as assistant night manager at McDonald's." Jerry: Actually, it's a bit of a lie. I just manned the drive-through window. E-Ray: No, that's better. That's managing the communication and distribution system of an international Fortune 500 company. Jerry: Okay, okay, I like that. What you're saying is, make it a big lie. E-Ray: Semantics can be your friend, Jerry.

Susan: Do you even know how to drive a motorcycle? Carol: It's just like a big moped, right? Susan: I guess...