The first show I ever watched that totally brought me to tears...what a way to begin!
10
"Perfect"
There is not much more to say about this episode than has already been written. I never really watched ER when it aired on primetime at the time, but once it began to be shown in syndication on TNT every morning, I watched a few episodes & kinda got sucked in. As it turned out, right when I began to watch it, it was near the beginning of of season 1... so I really kind of got in right at the start (I believe the primetime airings were about at season 8 at the time).
I work 5 days a week so I would record both episodes every morning & watch them that night. At 2 showings every morning, 5 days a week, the series moved along at a pretty good clip, and it wasn't long till the episodes concerning Mark's brain tumor began (a few months I guess). By then I was very sucked into the show & cared about the characters (I should mention that I am a 44 year old male with a wife & 9-year-old daughter).
When the "Orion" episode aired, I knew things were going to get sad, as Mark's last day sorta choked me up a bit. When the episode "The Letter" aired, which ended with Carter reading the letter about Mark's death, I was a bit confused, as in "did I miss something?". However, the very next episode, "On the Beach", made me realize that we were seeing the events that led up to the letter written by Corday.
I do not think I ever cried so hard over a TV show as I did during the entire last half of this episode. Mark's gradual deterioration, memories in my mind of how he used to be in earlier episodes & thinking "how did it ever get to this point?" Also, the sadness of his sticky relationship with his rebellious daughter, who, on the surface, didn't seem fazed at all about Mark's impending death or his attempts to bond with her & point her in the right direction in life once he is gone. How heartbreaking it must have been for Mark to tell Rachael about how she used to love "Over the Rainbow" as a little girl, and she didn't even remember. Part of the reason it hit ME so hard is that my daughter does not live with me, but with her mom, my ex-wife, in a neighboring state and although I see her fairly often (every 5 weeks or so for 4-5 days at a time), I've always felt that I was not as big an influence in her life as I should be, and seeing how much bigger & grown up she is every time I see her, and (coincidently) how she had this little music box as a young girl of about 3 years old that played "Over the Rainbow" and she was never without it (and now does not even remember having the toy or loving the song) really hit kind of close to home.
Anyway, watching this episode one evening, alone in my den (my wife never really got into the show), I just lost it and a combination of the sadness of the episode itself & it's correlation to my own circumstances with my own child really pushed me over the edge...especially when Rachael admitted on Mark's deathbed she DID remember the song, and put the headphones on Mark's ears so he could listen to it (and once I found out it was "Over the Rainbow", the waterworks began in earnest!) As a guy, I usually do not get sad at shows but I literally cried my eyes out for nearly an hour afterward, enought that my wife had to comfort me!
I felt a bit embarrassed afterward, laughing & crying at the same time, but that single viewing (I have not been able to bring myself to watch it again!) of this episode, which has been probably 2 years ago now, has always stuck with me. A brilliantly written episode, that did exactly what it was intended to do...make you sad, make you think, and help you say goodbye to one of the most beloved characters in ER's history.moreless