ER Season 11 Episode 11

Patient: I used to work as a lumberjack, but I couldn't hack it, so I got axed.

Abby: Listen, I'm sorry about this morning.
Neela: No, I'm sorry. I've been camping out on your couch for 6 months.
Abby: Well, I didn't need to be a jerk about it.
Neela: No, I needed a kick in the ass and I found a place with, err, Ray, actually, so I'll be leaving at the end of the week.
Abby: (gives her a quizzical look) Well, take your time, there's no rush, and by the way... (slams her locker door) are you crazy?

Jake: You're back!
Abby: Yep!
Jake: I thought your shift was over?
Abby: No, not until ten.
Jake: So you were just taking a break?
Abby: I guess so.
Jake: On the El track?
Abby: Yeah. I just love it up there.
Jake: Me too. You never know who you might meet.

Jake: The human life span is so short anyway, it's almost irrelevant.
Abby: Are you high?

Susan: So how are you doing?
Abby: Good.
Susan: Really?
Abby: Um, never better.
Susan: Really...?
Abby: Yes, yes, yes. I've processed all of my feelings of anger, shame and guilt in an emotionally stable environment. I have addressed the urge to use alcohol. Oh and I've consulted both a shaman and a guru. So really I'm all good.

Sam: Excuse me Abby, I'm going to go yell at someone.
Abby: Have fun!

Sam: You know, you're really good at teaching other people how to communicate.
Luka: Thanks.
Sam: We should try it ourselves sometime.
Luka: Yeah… (smiles) My English you know. Still working on.
Sam: (smiles) So now you're gonna pull the Croatian card? That is low.

Neela: So... random question.
Abby: Yes...?
Neela: Do you ever get crushes on people you work with?
Abby: What do you mean?
Neela: You know; crushes on people you work with.
Abby: Yeah, I guess sometimes. Why?
Neela: I don't know...
(Sam and Luka comes walking behind them. Neela and Abby look at each other.)
Luka: What?
Abby: What?
Neela: What?

(Neela slams down phone, frustrated with the apartment searching)
Ray: Whew, it's ugly out there.
Neela: You usually do early shifts, right, so you can go for gigs with your bands?
Ray: Well, yeah, yeah. And if you stick to your late shifts and overnights...
Neela: Weeks could go by and we might never see each other?
Ray: Months, even.
(Neela forces a smile)
Ray: (smiling) Welcome, roomie.
Neela: God, I'm going to regret this.

Luka: It's a teaching hospital!
Sam: Yeah. It's also a real hospital with live patients who didn't get antibiotics and insulin cause I was in here doing compressions for 30 minutes!!!
Luka: OK so you did some extra compressions. What you really mad about?
Sam: Are you in all seriousness telling me for the second time today that I am not mad about what I'm really mad about!?
Luka: I have no idea what you just said!

Jane: Wow. I find it really distracting to work with someone that good looking.
Neela: Who? Dr. Kovac?
Jane: Oh, come on. Don't pretend he's not hot.
Neela: Oh, I don't know. You just get used to it.
Jane: Yeah, but I mean, he's gorgeous.
Sam: Who's gorgeous?

Luka: Enjoy your honeymoon. I spent the night fighting with Sam.
Carter: O.k. Have fun with that.

Sam: Pratt. Knee contusion. Slipped at work, can't bear weight.
Pratt: Well, I've got a hot MI, so it's gonna have to wait.
Sam: I didn't say it can't wait. I said "can't bear weight". As in stand up.
Pratt: I'll get to it when I get to it!
(Carter and Luka are watching them)
Carter: (To Luka) Little plan to help the residents communicate, you might wanna start with Pratt.
Morris: (To his patient) Oh OK, just tell me the truth. How many Vicodin will it take for you to just go away, huh?
Carter: ...Or Morris.
Luka: (sighs) I'm doomed.

Susan: They can't even communicate with each other. Have you ever seen Neela and Pratt work together? Or Ray and Morris?
Luka: Well, we can teach them to make eye-contact, introduce themselves, you know? Act like normal human beings in front of the patients.
Susan: Ah, but that would be changing their basic personality structure, which would be a great strategy if you could turn back time and make their parents love them more.

(The attendings are meeting in a different room than usual)
Morris: What's going on?
Neela: The attendings are meeting.
Morris: Why? Why here? Why, why now?
Pratt: Don't know. Maybe they're thinking about cutting a resident.
Morris: No! You think that's what this is?
Pratt: I don't know. But what ever it is, can't be good. (Weaver looks at him through the window) O-oh. Go, go go go go.
(Meanwhile, inside the room)
Susan: What color are you painting the conference room?
Weaver: Lime green.
Carter: Why?
Weaver: Cause it's my favorite color.

Sam: You know what, I managed to support me and Alex for ten years all on my own. I think I can handle it.
Luka: You know, this isn't about money at all. You're worried about losing your independence or something.
Sam: Aha.
Luka: And about my role in Alex' life. What? You're worried about loosing control over him or...?
Sam: You know what? You always do this!
Luka: Do what?
Sam: This! Telling me what I'm really mad about!
Luka: Most of the time you don't know what you're really mad about! (Sam moves to the door) Sam, this isn't our stop!

Lewis: If you solicit any more patients in my hospital I will have you forcibly removed.
Herb Spivak: How about a free pen?

Patient: (to Sam) My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

Luka: If we want to make our patients happier, we need to teach our residents to connect with them better, you know? to communicate to...
Carter: What are you? The Croatian Dr. Phil?

Neela: So are you sure you are OK?
Abby: What I really need is a little space!
Neela: OK
Abby: I'm sorry, I just...
Neela: No you're right, I should find my own place, I'll start looking today.
Abby: You don't have to rush.
Neela: No really. I'll see you at work.