ER

(A spanish woman is giving birth) Pratt: O.k. Push it for me mama. Push, push... eh... Puta! Puta! Come on! Puta, puta! (The husband attacks him)

(Jakes pants slip off him during a procedure) Pratt: Hey man. Chuny: Nice. Pratt: What are you doing? Pull your pants up! Jake: Sterile gloves. Ray: That's a bummer. Jake: Dr. Pratt, do you think you can... Pratt: Hell no. Jake: Ray? Ray: Heh, no... I need to do a reduction exam. Jake: Ah, Chuny? Chuny: That would be sexual harassment.

(Jake and Abby had to change into scrubs because of their wet clothes) Abby: You look ridiculous! Jake: What was i supposed to do? They only had small and extra large. Chuny: What's up, homey? Pratt: Buenos tardes. Abby: Sorry about being late. Ray: Nice scrubs. You know, you two should coordinate outfits every day. Chuny: Yeah. It's cute. Ray: Maybe we can find you some matching stethoscopes or... Pratt: Victim of assault for Abby, and low blood sugar for your boy toy. Abby: O.k. Alright, alright. Frank: It's rough when everyone knows you're an item. Jake: That could work. Abby: What? Jake: This is Abby, she's my item.

Jake: This is Abby, my girlfriend. Liza is the night clerk on surgery. Liza: Hi. Abby: Hi. Jake: Kind of late, so... Liza: Oh, me too. Hey stop by sometime. (leaves) Abby: Did you say girlfriend? Jake: What? Abby: Nothing. Takes me right back to junior high. Jake: What do you want me to call you? Abby: How about introducing me as Abby? Jake: You don't want people to know we're going out? Abby: We're late. Jake: No, this is important. Abby: Let's just talk about it later. (A car drives by, splashing mud water on them) Jake: Yeah, yeah. I guess it can wait.

Abby: How come you have to panhandle? Birdie Chadwick: Because they're not hiring at Hooters.

Morris: Dr. Lewis, wait. May I call you Susan? Lewis: No!