Season 8 Episode 16

Secrets and Lies

Aired Thursday 10:00 PM Mar 07, 2002 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Susan: (about her former boyfriend in Arizona) Charlie Dixon, "Dix." He's a cowboy. Can you believe it? (laughs) An honest-to-God cowboy. He has the horse, the pick-up truck, the whole deal. I am a walking cliché.

    • Gallant: Dr. Carter.
      Carter: What?
      Gallant: What does your dad do?
      Susan: Spends the family trust fund.

    • Gallant: We were told to report to room 224 at 0800. I'm here, and I'm gonna stay here until someone in charge tells me to do otherwise. And I suggest you all do the same.
      Carter: 0800? This ain't the Marines, Gallant. At ease.

    • Luka: We're all waiting, for what? Fulfillment, love, validation, approval? It's a waste of time. Life is an empty, hollow exercise filled with pain, loss and grief, and the only thing we can expect to achieve in our lives is our own inevitable death.

    • Kerry: What were you thinking? Were you thinking at all? Who does this belong to? Did someone bring this, this, this thing into the workplace?
      Carter: I think we're all aware that our behavior was inappropriate.
      Kerry: Inappropriate, unprofessional, offensive. Who does this belong to?
      (they're all quiet, looking at the floor; Abby raises her eyes and gives a quick answer)
      Abby: A patient.

    • Susan: I haven't slept with Carter either.
      Abby: How long have you guys been going out?
      Susan: Couple of months.
      Abby: Well, that definitely violates the second date rule.
      Susan: What second date rule?
      Abby: My friend has this theory, that you should sleep with the guy by the second date, because if the sex isn't good, you shouldn't waste your time with someone you don't have any chemistry with.

    • Carter: I watch television, just not that dehumanizing crap.

    • Susan: Maybe this is the punishment, sitting in this room. Maybe they're watching us to see how we all respond.
      Abby: Like a test?
      Susan: Sure! Hidden cameras recording us for research or something, watching to see how we react to the stress, our alliances grow, our social structures break down under pressure...

    • Susan: Kerry, can I talk to you for a minute? It's about what happened this morning.
      Kerry: I'm heading up to Human Resources right now.
      Susan: Well, I think it's only right to tell that I was, huh, really the instigator. Carter, Gallant, Kovac, they were all opposed to me opening that bag.
      Kerry: What about Abby?
      (Kerry opens her locker and Susan sees something in it that makes her very nervous)
      Susan: It, it was me. If there's going to be any disciplinary consequences, I should be the one held responsible.
      Kerry: Susan, I appreciate you coming forward but they are all adults. They could have chosen to leave the room or refused to participate. I mean, when I entered it was clear that everyone present was involved.
      (Susan nods)
      Kerry: Anything else?
      Susan: No. That's it. Ah…
      (Kerry nods, turns around, and lets out a short scream when she sees what Susan saw earlier; a dildo on her locker shelf)

    • Susan: You should tell her.
      Carter: Who? (he realizes she's talking about Abby) What?
      Susan: That you're madly in love with her and can't live without her.

    • Susan: Kiss me. Just... kiss me. (they kiss) Was it there for you?
      Carter: It was nice.
      Susan: Wasn't there for me either.

    • Abby: (opening the Dominatrix's bag) Whoa!
      Susan: Oh, my God.
      Abby: No one could actually use that, could they?
      Susan: Wait--is that a...?
      Abby Yeah, I think so.
      Luka: (walking over) What? Whoa!
      Carter: Come on, guys. This is a patient's personal property... Oh, God.
      Susan: No kidding.
      Abby: Wait, what's this for? (pulls out something) Ugh. That's disgusting!

    • Susan: You know, you really made a fool of yourself today.
      Carter: What?
      Susan: If you're worried about Abby living with Luka, don't be. I don't think anything's going on.
      Carter: How did I make a fool of myself?
      Susan: Well, you participated in a duel for one thing.

    • Carter: It's embarrassing. Everybody assumes when you grow up with money everything's great.
      Susan: Yeah, it must have been hard growing up in the mansion. Was Gamma too cheap to heat the pool?

    • Carter: Reality television--it's one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
      Abby: Have you ever watched it?
      Carter: No!
      Abby: Then shut up!

    • (Yosh, Chuny, Chen, and Malik are discussing Greene and Corday's separation)
      Frank: Hey, if you ladies are done with the stitch and bitch, could I get some work done?

    • (Luka and Carter are fencing)
      Abby: They really are a couple of freaks!
      Susan: (laughs) To think you slept with both of them!
      Abby: I never slept with Carter. Did he tell you that?
      Susan: I thought you had.
      Abby: No, that was a rumor Carter started.
      Susan: Oh, my God! He is low.
      Abby: I thought so!
      Susan: I've never slept with Carter either.
      Abby: How long have you guys been going out?
      Susan: A couple of months!

    • (talking about Carter's wealth)
      Abby: How old are you? 30?
      Carter: 31.
      Abby: How did you manage to last this long without some girl marrying you?
      Carter: (laughs) We come with a built in gold-digger alarm. My Grandmother installs them at birth!
      Susan: And I haven't set it off? You better have that thing checked!

    • (while waiting in the classroom, Abby goes to light a cigarette)
      Gallant: Abby, please! We are in a public building.
      Abby: I know. No one is here.
      Gallant: I'm here!

    • (about Carter being mad at Susan for staying over at Mark's)
      Luka: Abby's been sleeping on my couch. Nothing's happened.
      Abby: Yeah. I needed a place to stay till I found a new apartment and Luka said I could stay with him.
      Susan: You're probably more upset about that than me staying at Mark's.
      Abby: What?
      Carter: No, I'm not.
      Susan: Right! (to Abby) Carter is still stuck on you.
      Carter: Can we change the subject?
      Susan: Ahh, now you want to change the subject!

    • (Carter is standing outside Susan's apartment with coffees when Susan walks up)
      Carter: You're out early.
      Susan: I was over at Mark's.
      Carter: Mark Greene?
      Susan: He's having some trouble... I spent the night--on the couch... Come on up. I'll take a shower, then we'll go, okay? (she starts to go in, but Carter hesitates and lags behind) Are you coming?

    • Susan: What were you in? You said you were an actor in college. What plays were you in?
      Luka: Uh, we did Hamlet.
      Carter: I did Hamlet! I played Horatio.
      Abby: What did you play, Luka?
      Luka: Uhm, Hamlet.
      Carter: (silently mocks) Hamlet.
      Susan: In English or in Croatian?
      Luka: Why would I do it in English?
      Abby: Were you any good?
      Luka: My mom thought so.

    • (about losing his virginity)
      Luka: My wedding night. I lost my virginity on my wedding night. (long silence) It's okay. It's a good memory. I haven't thought about that in years. We were very young and, uh, she was religious, so we waited. We loved each other very much. (another long silence) It's okay. It's okay.

    • (about losing his virginity)
      Carter: I was eleven.
      Susan: Eleven years old?!
      Abby: Really? How old was she?
      Carter: I don't know... Twenty-five.
      Susan: You're kidding me!
      Abby: Oh, my God.
      Carter: She was one of the maids.
      Abby: Did you pay her?
      Carter: My parents did.
      Gallant: To have sex with you?
      Carter: To be a maid.
      Susan: Hope you gave her a hell of a Christmas bonus.

    • (about losing his virginity)
      Gallant: Okay... Tanya McBride, on the balcony of our church, after choir-practice.
      Susan: Your church?
      Gallant: Yeah, I know.
      Abby: How old?
      Gallant: Let's see. I was in the ninth grade, so about fourteen.
      Susan: Alright! We have a new leader!

    • (about losing her virginity)
      Susan: Okay, my turn... Mark Greene. (laughs) Just kidding. Just kidding, Carter! Floyd Walker. I was fifteen.
      Abby: Floyd? I can't believe you gave me a hard time about Howie!
      Susan: In the shed behind his father's radiator repair shop.
      Abby: Very romantic.
      Susan: The smell of anti-freeze still turns me on.

    • (about losing her virginity)
      Abby: Okay, I'll go first. I was sixteen. Howie Thomas. He was on the lacrosse team.
      (Susan giggles)
      Abby: What's wrong? What?
      Susan: Howie?
      Abby: What's wrong with Howie?
      Susan: (laughs) He sounds like a plumber or something.
      Abby: I was terrified, and so was he. It was the longest 20 seconds of my life.
      Susan: 20 seconds?
      Abby: Yeah, if you count the foreplay.

    • Gallant: So, you were in the army?
      Luka: Yeah.
      Gallant: You see some action?(Luka gives him a look) O.k. Sorry.
      Luka: It's not what you think it is.
      Gallant: What do you think I think it is?
      Luka: Noble. Romantic. A crucible on witch to test your young manhood.
      Gallant: I'm not that naïve. (walks away)
      Luka: (whispers) Sure you are.

    • Abby: How much are you worth Carter?
      Carter: Me, personally? Almost nothing.

    • Susan: I have a confession to make.
      Carter: You put the dildo in Weaver's locker?
      Susan: (to Abby) I watch Fear Factor.

    • Carter: Why are you here [In America}?
      Luka: For the barbeque. Just can't find good ribs in Zagreb, not to mention spoon bread and sweet potato pie.

    • Luka: So what was the tail attached to?
      Gallant: Believe me, you don't want to know.

    • Abby: (to Dominatrix) You can always file for Workman's Comp. It's a job related injury.

    • Carter: Oh, right. You'd be cool if I spent the night over at...
      Susan: Abby's?
      Carter: Not Abby's. I was going to say Darla's.
      Susan: Darla? Who the hell is Darla?
      Carter: Radiology.
      Susan: The one with the collagen lips and fake... (an ambulance drives by and drowns out her words)

    • Gallant: What does your dad do Dr. Lewis?
      Lewis: He's a test pilot for Barcalounger.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Susan: (to Abby) I watch Fear Factor.
      Fear Factor is an extreme stunt reality game show that aired on NBC from June 2001 to September 2006. It was hosted by comedian Joe Rogan, who incidentally also co-starred with Maura Tierney and Khandi Alexander on the NBC comedy NewsRadio, which aired on NBC from March 1991 until May 1999.

    • Although it isn't directly mentioned in the episode, the set-up of a mixed group of people having arguments, making confessions, and talking about their private lives, all while waiting in "detention" for their punishment, could be a reference to the movie The Breakfast Club, in which a group of teenagers follow almost the exact structure of this episode.

    • Susan makes a reference to Coco, a character from the 1980 film Fame , starring Irene Cara, as well as a young Paul McCrane. In another reference to Fame, the lyrics to a song from the movie are written up on the board, a song that happened to be sung in the film by Paul McCrane's character.

    • Title: "Secrets and Lies"
      This episodes shares a title with the 1996 film Secrets and Lies, starring Brenda Blethyn and Marianne Jean-Baptiste. In the movie, a successful black woman tries to find her birth mother, a lower-class white woman, and in her search she discovers the secrets and lies that surround her family.

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