Carter: (about his much younger girlfriend) She's very mature for her age. She's cool, she's fun, she's...
Abby: She's Britney Spears's little sister.
Kerry: I am so sorry, Kim.
Kim: Me too. Go back to your life, Kerry.
Kerry: No, no, don't. You can't do this. We have something good.
Kim: What? What do we have? A relationship that you're ashamed of in public?
Kerry: No, no you're right. I wish I could be like you. I wish I could be as comfortable and secure with this as you are but I...am not you! I have been on the outside my whole life, fighting for acceptance and respect, and now you're asking me to do it all over again?
Kim: I'm not asking you for anything.
Legaspi: (to Romano) There's a difference between being gay and being a child molester!
Anspaugh: Patients with psychological problems falsely accuse their doctors of all sorts of things. I had a guy today blame me for hypnotizing him in order to drink his blood.
Romano: Well, we'll have to look into that another day, Donald, but the fact is, to the best of my knowledge you are not actually a vampire. Doctor Legaspi, however, is a lesbian, am I right?
Kerry: How many openly gay women do you know in hospital administrative positions?
Kerry: No, it doesn't happen!
Kim: What does that have to do with anything?
Kerry: I am trying to explain why this is difficult for me.
Kim: Guess what, Kerry—this isn't about you. This is about a confused and frightened young woman who would rather kill herself than deal with the stigma of being gay... Maybe it is about you.
(Romano comments on Weaver's words after she testifies for Legaspi )
Dr. Romano: Wow! That's really convincing. Please remind me never to ask you to testify on my behalf.
Patient Georgia: There's a crack in your life line.
Greene: It's probably dry skin.
Patient Mary: What if Jesus comes for me and I'm not here?
Legaspi: I'll have one of the nurses send him upstairs.
Luka: Look, there's an entire warehouse in here for the price of some condos.
Abby: That is very nice. Especially in the summer when all you smell is dead flesh. It's the slaughter house district.
Luka: It's still a good deal!
Abby: You know, first you live in a boat, then a hotel, now a meat plant. What's next? Tree house?
Luka: You're really not a morning person, are you.
Greene: Mr. Kinney can go home. There's no known cure for being a pain in the ass.
Luka: I got breakfast.
Abby: I don't believe in breakfast.
Luka: It's the most important meal of the day.
Abby: That's never been medically proven.
Babcock: You think Greene developed that brain tumor after she got pregnant?
Anspaugh: Pay no attention to him [Romano]. This too..., will pass.
Malucci: Todd is a basement wrestler.
Greene: I had an uncle that was a closet ballerina.
Abby: Did the hotel fire you for getting up too early?
Abby: Well somebody should.
Music: Semisonic, "Chemistry"