Eureka

Dr. Hood: Dougie Fargo? That wild man. Did he tell you about the time we were running those Columbian drugs? Carter: Uh, no. Dr. Hood: Yeah. Columbia med school wanted to make, uh, mineral-based vaccines. So Doug and I trekked all over Alaska gathering eriochalcite for those yahoos.

Harry: Radiation is like penny candy, it comes in all different kinds of flavors.

Allison: A pocket of magma developed spontaneously? That's impossible. Dr. Hood: Did "impossible" cover my friend with mucus? Carter: He's got a point.

Carter: Could anything be a bigger waste of my time? Stark: I need Carter. Carter: The answer's yes.

Carter: Hey, Jo, what's with all the dogs in here? Jo: They're biomimetic. Carter: I don't care what breed they are; it's unsanitary.

Jo: Carter, what happened? Carter: Mucus happened.

Carter: Pressure can be good for you. My mother used to say that pressure can make diamonds. I mean, don't you want to be a diamond? Zoe: Well, can't I just be, like, a sapphire who still has time to hang out with her friends?

Carter: So, what, the DOD has some program to create heavily armed robot dog soldiers? Jo: No, but that would be so cool!

Jo: (to Allison) I'll go shopping with you. Stark: It's a wedding gown not a flak jacket. Jo: (rises threateningly) I happen to like weddings. You got a problem with that?

Allison: (wearing a wedding dress) Do you know why I'm wearing this dress? Dr. Hood: Laundry day?

Carter: I've got dogs exploding all over town, and it… Dr. Hood: (laughs) Now that's a dog show I could get into.

Stark: I can't get a bearing! These instruments are all over the place. Carter: Smack it! Stark: Seriously? Carter: Smack it! Stark: (smacks the console) All right! We got a bearing.

S.A.R.A.H.: Sheriff Carter, you planned to do aerobic exercise tonight from 8 to 9:30, followed by bill paying. Carter: Yeah, I'm taking the night off. S.A.R.A.H.: Good idea. Stress is America's number one health problem. Carter: Oh, drop dead. S.A.R.A.H.: Followed closely by sarcasm.

Carter: So you can really melt metal with sound? Zoe: Yeah, I don't even understand it well enough to explain why I don't understand it.

Jo: People need hobbies, Carter, I used to collect handcuffs. Carter: And meanwhile there was an earthquake that no one felt but me, which is impossible. Jo: Because there are no earthquakes in Eureka. (the earth starts shaking)

Carter: I was at a farm near the lake and, uh, there was an earthquake but nobody felt it but me. Is that possible? Dr. Hood: Depends, how drunk were you?