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Irv Harper/ Narrator
Nurse Edna Abbott Harper
Dr. Harold Abbott Jr.
Dr. Jake Hanson
Dr. Brown has once more changed cars. In the premiere For Every Action... he mentions that he sold the car to pay for Ephram's garage-studio, then in episodes ...There is a Reaction and Staking Claim we see that the BMW X5 has changed again: it has different wheels and headlights (non-Sport Model).
1. Andy went to school for 27 years. I think he means: one year for preschool; one year for kindergarten; eight years of grade school; four years of high school; four years of college; three years of medical school; three years of specialization; and three years of internship and residency.
2. Delia's friends are Brittany and Willow, and they are in fifth grade.
3. Hannah is a junior.
Amy: (to Hannah) The point is, I really miss having a friend that doesn't drive me absolutely insane.
Amy: This is a good song.
Ephram: Yeah, maybe Hannah and I will play it at our wedding.
(Amy hits him).
Amy: (After Ephram messes up and stops playing) You know you'd think that since you practice so much you wouldn't suck so bad.
Ephram: Yeah, well if you didn't study so much you would know that guys don't care if chicks are smart.
(Amy hits him and Ephram blocks)
Ephram: First of all, even if Hannah did have a crush on me... which I don't think she does... she'd be way too terrified to ever do anything about it. (Long pause) Unlike your friend Katie.
Amy: What did Katie do?
Ephram: She totally grabbed my ass in gym the other day.
Amy: She did what?!
Harold: (To Jake) You know, sell it to someone who buys your botox balogna. Let's get out of here, Andy.
Amy: What do you think about Brian Cummings? Do you think he's cute?
Ephram: Why, I should make something clear right off the bat -- I don't do threesomes.
Amy: When you like someone, you try not to let them know, but when you hate someone you try to be nice so they don't know. But when you love someone...
Edna: (to Andy and Harold) You boys here for an appointment? Two prostate exams coming right up.
Amy: (about Hannah and Bright) Besides, you never know. There could be sparks.
Ephram: Yeah, there could be sparks if Bright tries to burn down the theatre in attempted escape.
Jake: What do you say we hike up Erton's Peak? Catch the sunset?
Andy: Oh hike it up your ass! (Andy walks out)
Jake: (to Edna) Is that a no?
Harold: Lord have mercy, is that a lava lamp?
Harold: I see you're willing to use HIS computer?
Edna: He asked first.
Bright: Oh my God, I didn't know boredom could cause actual physical pain in your body.
Bright: I'll be over by the jukebox, killing myself.
Andy: Every time I leave Harold and Edna alone, I'm afraid I'm going to come back to a body count.
Delia: Brittney spit on Willow. Actual spit!
Andy: You win. But you still have to go to school.
Ephram: You are crazy. You know that?
Amy: Occasionally. Yes.
Edna: (about Harold) That man won't drop anything. He had baby teeth that wouldn't fall out until he was 30. He's about as tenacious as a bulldog. About as sensible as one too.
Edna: (about Harold) He's my son and I love him, but I'll kill him if I have to.
Edna: Hey Tom Cruise, could you kiss his ass another time? We're having a meeting.
Harold: What do you say we skip the talking and go straight to violence?
Andy: (about Edna) She'd beat the crap outta both of us and you know it.
Harold: I think you should go and hide in your office you loathsome reptilian nurse stealer!
Andy: I've got to go pick up Delia from Brittany's. Apparently, fifth grade sucks. But she's convinced that some hot chocolate syrup and rocky road will help make it better.
Amy: I love you Ephram.
Ephram: I love you too.
Harold: As has the rotary telephone, the vinyl record, the horse-drawn carriage, but they are now all useless, outdated relics.
Edna: Who are you calling a relic?
Ephram: For the record, If I ever referred to you as territory I'd be getting beaten right now.
Ephram (To Amy): There's a movie -- she boiled the bunny -- it was very scary.
Ephram is referring to a scene in the 1987 movie "Fatal Attraction," in which happily married New York lawyer Dan Callagher (played by Michael Douglas) has a one-night stand with his colleague Alex (played by Glenn Close). But Alex will not let go of him, and she begins to stalk both Dan and his family. Near the end of the film, in a fit of jealousy and seeking revenge, she boils the family's pet bunny rabbit in a kettle on the family's kitchen stove in retaliation for being jilted.
Amy (To Hanna): Is that [the book "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"] for school? I haven't read that.
"The Perks of Being a Wallflower" is a funny, touching novel by Stephen Chbosky in which he captures the voice of Charlie, a boy teetering on the brink of adulthood. While not the biggest geek in the school, Charlie is by no means popular. He's a wallflower--shy and introspective--and intelligent beyond his years, if not very savvy in the social arts.
Amy (To Ephram): Maybe I should have invited Brad Pitt to come out with us tonight, or Maroon 5 -- maybe one of those guys would have been acceptable.
Brad Pitt is the popular actor whose breakout role occurred in the film "Thelma and Louise." The rock band Maroon 5 is currently on their Honda Civic Tour, their only North American tour for 2005.
Ephram (To Amy): Well, it's a little bit funny. Like when she [Hannah] started talking about Halliburton and Bright thought she meant Halle Berry.
Vice President Dick Cheney is a former CEO of Halliburton, a Houston-based company. According to U.S. Army documents, a Halliburton subsidiary unfairly won no-bid contracts worth billions of dollars for work in Iraq and the Balkans. Halle Berry is the Oscar-winning actress who has starred in such films as "Monster's Ball" and "Catwoman."
Harold (To Edna): Aw, well, very nice, Norma Rae. You made your point. We got the message. Now pack up your things and come back.
Sally Field was awarded an Oscar for playing the title character in the 1979 film "Norma Rae." Norma Rae was a southern textile worker employed in a factory with intolerable working conditions. The film depicts her efforts and struggles to unionize her factory.
Harold (To Andy): The woman [Edna] has a tougher skin than a Bradley Fighting Vehicle.
The Bradley Fighting Vehicle is a fully armored, fully tracked vehicle (in other words, a tank) designed to carry mechanized infantry into close contact with the enemy.
Sara (David's mother) (To Andy): I know. It's my mistake for ever getting him that skateboard. He's like a kamikaze on that thing.
Kamikaze (Japanese for "divine wind") were suicide squadrons organized by the Japanese air force in the last months of World War II. The pilots' mission was to sink ships of the Allied forces by crashing into them.
Edna (To Jake): Hey, Tom Cruise, could you kiss his ass another time? We're having a meeting!
Tom Cruise is the popular actor whose broad smile and other physical features are similar to those of Scott Wolf, who plays Jake on Everwood.
Jake (To Andy): Andy Brown! I recognize you from the cover of "Time."
"Time" is the popular weekly news magazine.
Andy (To Edna): Look, it's going to be fine. Once Harold settles down, he'll drop the Mussolini act.
Benito Mussolini (1883-1945) was the founder of Fascism and prime minister and dictator of Italy (1922-1943). His vast personal power, strong-arm methods, and extreme nationalism made him a model for leaders of like-minded authoritarian movements in the 1920s and 1930s.
Hannah: It's supposed to be even better than "Crouching Tiger," and [pause] I knew you were into the whole [pause] manga thing, so I just figured . . . .
"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" is a martial arts movie directed by Ang Lee, who also directed "Hulk" and "The Ice Storm." Manga is a Japanese style of comic books or animated cartoons/films with a science-fiction or fantasy theme, often very violent or erotic.
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