Julius: The one thing you have to learn about women is nothing makes sense. Once you learn that you can become a man.
Rochelle: What did you say?
Chris: I said no.
Rochelle: That's what I thought you said.
(starts throwing silverware at Chris, pinning him to the wall)
Rochelle (pulls out knife) Now say it again!
Monk: I also will take that, uh... helmet and those death darts.
Mr. Omar: That's a crock-pot and pens, man!
Monk: Not in the jungle, it's not. You know, I can make me a hand grenade out of a can of Cheez Whiz and a dress sock.
Mr. Omar: Well, you need to use it to blow your own brains out. Don't they have centers for people like you?
Chris: Why didn't you wake me up? I'm late for school!
Rochelle: You grown. Wake yourself up. If you don't wanna do nothin' for me, I ain't doin' nothin' for you.
Chris: (narrating) And she didn't.
Vanessa: Chris, you are a child. Parents don't negotiate with children.
Rochelle: Where have you been?
Julius: I stopped to get coffee.
Narrator: With his coffee coupon.
Narrator: While my mother was teachin' me lessons about life, Mr. Omar was teachin' a lesson about death.
Narrator: How come when a woman says, "Fine," it's never actually fine?
Narrator: When you're a kid, one of the most important lessons you learn is when your parents tell you to do something...
Rochelle: Y'all better eat that liver.
Chris, Drew and Tonya: Yes, ma'am.
Narrator: ...you do it, no matter what you think.
Narrator: I had put my foot down, but unfortunately, it was into my own grave.
Chris: Ma, I didn't eat all the dinner by myself. I shouldn't have to clean it all up by myself.
Rochelle: I don't wear all the clothes, but... I wash them by myself. I don't sleep in all the beds in this house, but I... I make them all by myself. I don't pee in all of the toilets in this house by myself!
Chris: Ma, Drew and Tonya are sittin' right there doin' nothin'. Why can't they help?
Rochelle: Because I told you to do it! Now, I don't wanna hear no more back talk. Now, clean this mess up.
Chris: No. I'm not gonna do it.
Rochelle: Lord, please help me before I knock this boy's neck off.
Julius: Why is this table such a mess?
Chris: (narrating) Somebody fired the maid.
This episode was nominated the 2009 Emmy Award for "Outstanding Cinematography For A Half-Hour Series".