Doc: Some of this material is a little blue, so if you hear something you ain't supposed to hear, turn it off.
Chris: (narrating) Don't be so strict, old man!
Chantal: Do you think I'm ugly?
Chantal: Do you think I'm dumb?
Chantal: Then what is it? Just tell me the truth.
Drew: You're too tall.
Chris: (narrating) Never stopped Danny DeVito.
Chris: (narrating) What I didn't know was that my parents loved comedians too.
Redd Foxx: (on record player) You knew it in your heart you haven't washed your hair. So one night, the time was right. He asked her. He said, "Honey, would you marry me?" She said "Wooden eye?"
Chris: (narrating) I can't say what he just said, but it was the first dirty joke I had ever heard.
Redd Foxx: (on record player) "Geez, baby, what time do you have to be home?"
Chris: (narrating) And it wasn't the last.
Redd Foxx: (on record player) She said, "Christmas..."
Chris: (narrating) While Drew was trying to make a clean break, I was getting down and dirty with my new jokes. I told the one about the guy who got bitten by the snake...
Chris: So the doctor said, "Make two cuts where your friend was bitten by the snake, and suck out the poison." So the guy gets back to his friend, and the friend said, "Well, what did the doctor say?" "You're gonna die." (everyone laughs)
Chris: (narrating) I told one about the two guys on the bridge...
Chris: And so then the white guy said, "Man, this water's cold." And the black guy said, "Yeah, and it's deep too." (everyone laughs)
Chris: (narrating) And I told the one about how to become an honorary Eskimo.
Chris: So he was bleeding, and his clothes were torn. So he walks in and says, "Now, where's the Eskimo woman I'm supposed to kill?" (everyone laughs)
Rochelle: A date? My mother is almost 60. How would she look out there tryin' to get a date?
Chris: (narrating) Like Bea Arthur on The Golden Girls.
Jerome: Little dude from across the street! Does your momma know you out there tellin' jokes like that?
Chris: No. (narrating) Because if she did, she'd smack the smut outta me!
Grandmother Maxine: I'm too old for a blind date!
Chris Rock (narration): She wouldn't say that if it was Stevie Wonder.
Julius: What are you doing up?
Rochelle: I can't sleep.
Chris Rock (narration): Translation: he can't sleep.
Chris Rock (narration): A lot of kids were getting into trouble sneaking of bed to listen to dirty jokes. I ended up getting a career.
The opening song is "Express Yourself" by Charles Wright and the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band.
Music: "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls.