Everybody Hates Chris Season 3 Episode 8

Female Chef: (speaking Chinese) You look like Lionel Richie.
Chris: (narrating) About as much as you look like Yoko Ono.

Mr. Fong: Lionel Richie, go wash the dishes!
Chris: [narrating] He wouldn't talk to the real Lionel Richie like that.

Doc: Minimum wage. Shoot. There was a time when the maximum wage for black folks was zero.

Mr. Fong: No homework! You have work-work!
Chris: But Doc always let me start my homework.
Mr. Fong: Well, you are not at Doc's anymore! Go fix the menu numbers!
Chris: (narrating) I was gettin' minimum wage and havin' minimum fun.

Rochelle: Chris, where you've been? You were suppose to be back an hour ago.
Chris: I was out selling crack.
(Rochelle, Julius and Drew stare at him)
Chris (voiceover): Not all my earlier attempts at comedy were a success.

Rochelle: Julius is never gonna sleep with me again and everybody's gonna think I'm...
Chris: (narrating) My mom's career as a hair model was over faster than Pacman Jones' career as a citizen.

Julius: You just can't quit every time you don't like something. What if Miles Davis quit the trumpet?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit Lucille? What if Paul Robeson quit "Ol' Man River?" What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit "pityin' the fool?" What if Stevie quit Wonderin'? What if Fat Albert quit the Cosby Kids? What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doin' the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit the Supremes?
Julius: Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
Chris: You get my point.