Robert: You wanna know something about Amy? Sometimes when she laughs, she pees a little.
Ray: You mean she pees when she laughs?
Robert: Well, a chuckle won't do anything. But if you really get her cracked up, you might want to put down some newspapers.
Ray: Wait a minute... you've been secretly thinking I'm a hateful jerk face, but still acting all fake nice to me?
Amy: I haven't been that nice to you... couple months ago you got a hair cut and everyone said 'nice hair cut Ray.' But I didn't.
Ray: (to Debra) Guess who was right with me laughing it up? "Oh. Amy pees! Haha that's so funny!"
Robert: I love you.
Debra: (to Marie) You're the one who once told me that Frank came to bed with a toupée on for you.
Frank: This is an outrage Marie. That was a hat I found on the street.
Ray: Guess who pees when she laughs?
Debra: That is your worst come-on line ever.
Ray: I'll give you a hint: first letter "A", last letter "Y," and don't ask me what the middle letter is, because I "M" not going to tell you!
Debra: Do you want me to remember everything I've told Amy about you over the years?
Robert: It is always the way of females, to gather with other females...
Frank: And screech like a treeful of Chinese monkeys!
Frank: You've gotta get your wives out of my house. They're over there looking at furniture catalogs. I told Marie, "at your age, you shouldn't be looking at any furniture that doesn't have a lid."