Raymond Albert Barone
Notice how the school bus is dead silent the entire time that Ray is riding on it. Anyone who has ridden on a bus full of kids knows that it is extremely rare for there to be absolutely no noise level.
In the first scene, Debra tells Ray that some kid on the bus was picking on Ally, and that's all she said--"some kid." But in the next scene, Ray tells Frank and Robert that it was a boy, and then they tell Marie that it was a boy named Todd Feeney. How would Ray know that? Debra never gave him the child's name.
Ray: Boy, you know, it's a good thing we didn't know each other when we were kids, because I wouldn't have liked you.
Debra: Hey, I wouldn't have liked you either, okay?
Ray: Always standing in your little groups, whispering, making fun of the kid whose mom drops off his snowpants.
Debra: (laughs) Snowpants!
Ray: There was a good chance of snow!
Ray: (about Ally's bullying ways) You know, I don't want to point a finger here, but she's this way because of you.
Debra: Excuse me?!?
Ray: Yeah. You're the role model for her. I'm not the woman here.
Debra: Oh, no?
Ray: I rode Ally's bus to school.
Debra: You did?
Ray: Yeah, and Ally's the bully!
Ray: Well, Dottie told me—
Debra: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Dottie?
Ray: The bus driver—take an interest!
Frank: (about Ally being bullied) This really bunches my shorts!
Ray: What are you talking about? You care?
Frank: Hey, we're talking about my granddaughter here. Of course I care!
Ray: Yeah, the way you cared when we got bullied? (imitates Frank) "Stop crying, people are looking at us!"
Robert: You never stuck up for us, ever.
Frank: Ally's a girl, Nancy.
Marie: Frank, why are you still here? You said that you were going across the street to read the twins a bedtime story.
Frank: I did. And when Hazel and Gretal got away from the witch, I got inspired and stayed here.
Ray: Hey guys, you know what Debra just told me?
Frank: To come in here and flap your jaw when there's two minutes left in the game?
Ray: Debra, Debra, lovely wife, why am I stuck with you for life?
Debra: So you're accusing me of teaching my daughter to be self-confident?
Ray: That's right! Every jerk I ever met was self-confident!
Ray: See Ally...you saw today that it's not fun to be picked on, right? And the thing is, there's a lot of bad kids out there....and you should stop being one.
Debra: Don't say that!
Debra: You just said she was a bad kid!
Ray: I did not!
Debra: Yes you did!
Ray: All right! Okay, listen Ally...there are a lot of good kids out there, and you should try to be like them.
Debra: Okay, you're done!
Ally: I'm going to make fun of Judy Hootie, and then all the other kids will laugh at her! (runs upstairs)
Frank: You're doing a good job with her.
Ray: The kids were making fun of you?
Ally: Yeah, they kept saying "Baby Ally and her dorky daddy!"
Frank: Haha, you're a dorky daddy!
Frank: (in response to Ally being bullied) This really bunches my shorts!
Ray: You taught Ally to be self-confident, and now she's hanging kids out the window of the school bus by their ankles!
Robert: Debra, Debra, real good lookin', never wanna try her cookin'.
Debra: Listen, guys, Ally will be fine. She's a very strong little girl.
Frank: No, she's not. She's got arms like twigs!
Ray: You don't understand, I grew up with the name Raymond.
Debra: What rhymes with Raymond?
Ray: How about: 'Laymond Gaymond Go Awaymond'?
Ray: You're bringing her into the family business: Debra Barone's Ass Kicking Incorporated, pushing people down since 1972.
Debra: Well, that's better than Ray Barone's School of Wuss!
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