Raymond Albert Barone
This episode's lunch special is a Philly cheese steak sandwich with au jus sauce and fried pickles.
Frank: You're driving! This way, I've got two hands free for signaling.
Ray: You almost hit a car!
Frank: It was in my blind spot!
Ray: Twenty cars in a funeral procession? That's not the blind spot, dad, that's west!
Marie: Why are you so late?
Ray: It wasn't traffic, dad, it was a funeral!
Frank: One less idiot in the world.
Marie: But I thought we're making this to give you a day off (whispers to Frank) Not that I ever got a day off.
Frank: You can take off anytime!
Ray: I don't think I can tell him he can't drive his own grandchildren.
Debra: Why not?! He's too agressive.
Ray: That's why... I can't... tell him!
Ray: So, if dad doesn't pay that ticket, does he have to go to court? Cause I will take the day off for that!
Robert: Nah... I think I'll just give him a warning.
Ray: Oh... you wussy wuss wuss!
Robert: I have to give you a ticket!
Robert: You hit a patrol car!
Frank: I don't care! I'm your father. Even if I killed that guy, you have to look the other way! Isn't that right, Ray?
Ray: Dad, whatever you do... I wanna look the other way.
Debra: You've been driving without a valid license?
Frank: I didn't want to wait in those long lines. (Looks at his old license) Besides, I like the picture in this one. Twenty pounds thinner and more hair.
Ray: Think of all the bad stuff Dad has done to us. Remember "Guess that smell"? The killing of the tooth fairy? Liver week?
Robert: Liver week was my fault. It would have been one day if I just could have swallowed it.
Robert: There's black and white paint on your car.
Frank: I hit a penguin.
Frank: You're paying for the movie.
Ray: Okay. Don't worry about it, Dad.
Frank: And I want lots of candy!
Ray: But it's going to spoil your dinner....oh, come on, don't splash in the puddles!
Marie: Frank, I'm not driving with you anymore until you get that renewed.
Frank: That's incentive? Why can't my marriage license expire?
Robert: I'm writing the ticket!
Frank: Fine! That's Barone, B-A-R-O-N-E, as in the man from whose loins you sprung!
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