Raymond Albert Barone
The colors "Lemon Meringue" that Frank paints the house in and "Chantilly Lace" that Ray wanted were both references to the X-files episode 'Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose', for which Peter Boyle won an emmy for portray the title character.
Raymond: (to Marie about Frank) Why should I worry about his feelings? He doesn't care about anybody else's.
Marie: You don't think he cares about you? He's your father. He just isn't good at uh...
Raymond: Living among humans.
Marie: You know, I think you're the only one who thinks you're funny.
Robert: Amen to that.
Debra: (to Raymond)I know your father can be a real jerk sometimes.
Marie: Right, no one is arguing that. He's a bully and he's obstinate and he doesn't bathe everyday. But I know that man and I know he needs one thing. He needs to be needed. Do with that what you will.(exits the house)
Robert: (to Raymond after a long pause) He's your father.
Raymond: (to Robert about Debra) You hear this, okay? This is marriage. This is what you want? This is what you can't live without?
Robert: Step aside.
Marie: Your father never retired from Pelk Accounting.
Raymond: What are you talking about?
Robert: If he's not retired, why does he buy his pants at the pharmacy?
Marie: He told me he retired, but I found out the truth. They fired him.
Raymond: What? Why?
Marie: Why? I have to tell you? Why did you fire him? Your father believes that his way of doing things is the only way. And after 25 years, it starts to get on people's nerves.
Robert: There's a wasp nest near the down spout.
Frank: Then knock it down.
Robert: They're wasps, they don't like that.
Debra: That's what happens when you retire.
Marie: Yeah, but I never thought he'd live this long.
Frank: If you want my help, I gotta be in charge. You do what I say.
Ray: Okay, Dad.
Frank: And nobody can tell me what to do. I'm the boss.
Ray: Fine, Dad.
Frank: I'm the boss?
Frank: Good. You're fired.
Marie: Look. There's something about your father you don't know.
Ray: He wears your things?
Robert: I'm getting sick of him ordering me around like a monkey. Calling me every name in the book: Nancy, powderpuff, princess, monkey.
Ray: So? I'm getting dopey, idiot, and moron. At least yours make sense.
(Robert comes to the back of the house with a paint stirrer)
Ray: What with the stick? They finally makin' popsicles your size?
Robert: Remember the fort?
Ray: Yeah, that's right. Me and Robert were building a fort in our backyard. Nothing fancy, just this little fort.
Robert: Yeah, just a place where we could read our comic books and... other periodicals.
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