During a trip to the supermarket with Ray and Ally, Frank starts nibbling on some trail mix, completely ignoring the nearby "no sampling" sign. He's soon confronted by a testy manager, and a heated argument ensues. Watching it all unfold is Ally, who becomes frightened by Frank's ranting.moreless
Raymond Albert Barone
In the scene with Ally and Frank in the backyard, you can totally tell that Madylin Sweeten (Ally) is trying not to burst out laughing throughout the majority of the scene, namely when Frank is sitting on the picnic table and breaking it. Notice that Sweeten is looking straight ahead and doing her best to keep a straight face, but you can see she's having a hard time.
In the epilogue scene, when Robert is in the backyard talking to Ally, Marie comes out and barks at him for not taking out the garbage, and that she has to do it herself just like everything else. But you can clearly see they're in Ray and Debra's backyard, and Marie is in their house, not hers. So why would she be complaining about the garbage there?
Frank: (About Ally) I've never talked to her before.
Ray: I think I've seen you talk to her.
Frank: No. I've told her stories, I've stolen her nose, I've told her, "Hey, get down from there!" but I've never talked to her.
Ray: Go get us a thing of broccoli, Ally.
Ally: I hate broccoli!
Ray: Look, your mom makes the list, all right? If it were up to me, it would be all marshmallows.
Ray: I'm sorry.
Frank: Hey, don't apologize for me. He's the one blowing a gasket over a handful of bird seed.
Supermarket Clerk: It's called stealing, Cueball!
Frank: I've got hair, Porky!
Frank: (to Ray about Ally) If you didn't say anything, then you did. (turns to Debra) You bad-mouthed me, didn't you?
Debra: I did not. We told you, Ally had some strong feelings about what happened.
Frank: Well, what a coincidence. She happens to be feeling the same thing you two are thinking!
Debra: Maybe it was what her grandfather was doing.
Frank: Turning a kid against her grandpa—real classy!
Frank: (trying to break the ice with Ally as he sits her down for a talk) So, Ally, um...what did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons? Jose and Hose-B! (Ally doesn't crack a smile) That was one of your dad's jokes.
Frank: Is the, um, girl around?
Ray: Yeah..."the girl" is in the backyard.
Ally: (about the guy at the supermarket) You were yelling at him.
Frank: Listen, Ally...people get mad at people sometimes. You get mad at people sometimes. Like your little brothers there...they must be annoying as hell, am I right? So anyway, when people bother you, you yell at them like I yelled at the fruit guy, you know? But just because you yell at them doesn't mean you're a bad person, does it?
Marie: What did you steal?
Frank: I just sampled some trail mix from the thing.
Marie: Oh, that's not stealing.
Robert: Technically, Ma, it is theft. Petty theft. Unless you took more than $100 worth....did you?
Frank: No I didn't, Officer Doofus!
Marie: What happened at the supermarket?
Frank: Oh, the jackass fruit guy accused me of stealing.
Marie: Frank, please. They're homosexuals!
Ray: Okay, listen, Dad...we thought you should know that Ally was a little upset about what happened with the guy at the market.
Frank: Okay...turn the TV back on.
Debra: (when Ray is too scared to confront Frank) For Christ's sake, I'll do it.
Ray: No, you're too mean!
Robert: Hey Ray, can I have some chips?
Ray: Why don't you go get chips from Amy?
Robert: I go to Amy for other things.
Ray: Here's your chips. I owe you a nightmare!
Frank: Relax, pal, I just took a little.
Supermarket Guy: Yeah, well, if everyone steals just a little, then the store goes a little bit out of business!
Supermarket Guy: Excuse me, no free sampling.
Frank: I'm not sampling, I've had this before.
Robert: So you're telling me that Grandpa sat right here with you and had a conversation?
Robert: For how long?
Ally: I don't know.
Robert: Well, no, was it 5 minutes? 10?
Ally: I don't know. 10, I guess.
Robert: 10 minutes...and it didn't involve food?
Ally: No, not really.
Robert: You had a 10-minute conversation with him....what was that like?
Marie: I don't know what's happened to that store. They used to give you free samples all the time. They even used to help carry your bags to the car.
Frank: Now I have to carry you to the car myself.
Frank: See, Ally, what I did was I took a little sample. And that's not stealing--in fact, they call it sampling.
Ally: But the sign says "No Sampling."
Frank: Oh...that's right. You're reading now.
Debra: So Ally saw your father steal food and then make an ass out of himself in public?
Robert: Ah, her first time. The Rite of Passage!
Debra Listen, Frank. Have you ever heard the saying "It takes a village to raise a child"? I believe that. And I believe you're a part of our village. We're just trying to teach the kids proper values.
Frank: Listen, I don't know what the hell village you're talking about.
Frank I'm not so scary, am I?
Ally: Not more than Grandma.
Debra Why can't your father behave himself?
Ray: Why can't a dog play the trumpet?
(Frank bursts into the house and slams the door)
Raymond: (suddenly waking up) It's all squishy!
Frank: Come with me.
Ray: Come on! Why are you so scared? You were in a war!
Frank: That was different! They gave me a rifle!
(Frank walks out the back door)
Ray: I'm just glad they took it back.
Robert (about Frank) Was he stealing?
Ray: He was just sampling the trail mix.
Robert: But, you're not allowed to sample the trail mix.
Ray: Hence, the hullabaloo.
Frank: (to Ray) What did you say to her?!
Ray: I didn't say a word. Want some candy?
Robert (about Ally watching Frank overreact) The Right of Passage. I remember mine. The New York State's Tollway: Dad throwing pennies at the toll collector.
Ray: Yeah, this time he threw a quarter.
Marie: Far be it for me to ever take his side, but I do think it's awful what's happened to that store. They used to give you samples all the time! And, they also helped you take your bags to the car.
Frank: Now I have to take you to the car myself.
Debra: (about Frank) Why can't he behave himself?
Ray: Why can't a dog play the trumpet?
Robert: Your daughter, your problem.
Ray: You're stupid, you're ugly.
This is Peter Boyle's favorite episode
User Score: 281
User Score: 2289
User Score: 1008
User Score: 610
User Score: 455
User Score: 348
User Score: 214
User Score: 186
User Score: 145
User Score: 143
User Score: 89
User Score: 89
User Score: 87
User Score: 81
User Score: 79
User Score: 45
User Score: 39
User Score: 35
User Score: 24
User Score: 23