Michael starts refusing to attend school, and by the second day, Ray is stuck staying home with him. Convinced that his son simply hasn't been finishing his homework, Ray is determined to make things seem miserable at home...until he learns the real reason behind the problem.
Raymond Albert Barone
Debra: You go to work, and then I'm stuck. I had a lot of things I needed to today, and I couldn't because I had to stay home with Michael.
Marie: There's always time to get your hair done, dear.
Debra: I wasn't going to do my hair!
Marie: Oh... We should talk about that.
Ray: (after Michael has refused to go to school) Well, look who's up.
Michael: I'm hungry.
Ray: Yeah, well, breakfast ended when the school bus left. Congratulations, you get to stay home again today. Let me tell you something, mister. A couple hours with Daddy, and you're gonna be begging to go back to school!
Debra: We just need to get Michael out of bed.
Frank: I'll tell you how I used to get Ray and Robert out of bed.
Ray: We're not gonna put ice cubes down his pants, Dad.
Debra: (about Michael not going to school) I don't know what to do anymore.
Marie: I could tell you what the problem is, Debra.
Debra: (sarcastically) I was hoping you would, Marie.
Marie: You let the kids play all those video-tronic games, and after a while, school just becomes boring to them. It's like an old woman talking.
Frank: Where do you get those video-tronic games?
Raymond: (to Debra) You come back here young lady... who is old... and reminds me of my mother!
Marie: Why do I say anything?
Frank: I don't know.
Michael: What did you do?
Ray: I did exactly what you're supposed to do. I cried. I bawled my eyes out. I actually should have done that earlier; maybe then it would have diluted some of the pee into tears.
Ray: Nah, the body doesn't work like that.
Ray: Did Michael finish his homework?
Debra: He said he didn't have any.
Ray: And you fell for that?? Boy, I am going to lie to you more!
Debra: (after Ray gets Michael to go back to school) How did you do this?
Ray: Well, let's just say our kids are very lucky that their father led such an embarrassing life.
Frank: Listen, Michael, I know I may seem stupid, but that's just to get your mom not to ask me to do stuff!
Ray: By the way, I know why Michael didn't want to go to school.
Ray: Some of the kids were teasing him, he called one of the teachers "Mommy."
Debra: He called one of his teachers "Mommy?"
Ally: Why, was the teacher yelling?
Michael: The kids teased me.
Michael: In school, all the kids laughed at me.
Ray: The kids laughed at you? Why?
Michael: I went up to the teacher to ask her a question, and I accidentally said "Mommy."
Ray: You called the teacher "Mommy?" Why? Was the teacher yelling?
In this episode, Ray tells little Michael the story of how he wet his pants during Little League as a child. Marie told this exact same story in a Season 2 episode called "The Children's Book," only in her version, it was Robert who wet his pants.
This episode was originally called "Pee Pee Raymond."
As a joke, Ray Romano and Philip Rosenthal were credited as "Pee Pee Raymond" and "Poo Poo Rosenthal" in the end credits.
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