Everybody Loves Raymond

Season 1 Episode 3

I Wish I Were Gus

Aired Friday 8:30 PM Sep 27, 1996 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Debra: (After seeing Geoffrey with a Hitler moustache) Bad news for Europe, Ray.

    • Frank: (To Ray) When your mother is upset she doesn't cook. When she doesn't cook I don't eat. You do the math.

    • Marie: (To Ray) Did your father send you? He hates it when I cry. It reminds him of our wedding day.

    • Alda: What's your problem, Marie? I can't even say a word without you topping me.
      Marie: I can't help it, you're easily topped!

    • Marie: You know what Alda would do? She'd read my diary. She put my dolls in odd positions. She'd wear my clothes, steal my boyfriends.
      Ray: Really? What kind of positions?

    • Ray: Some funeral, huh?
      Debra: Yeah.
      Ray: Wanna do it?

    • Marie: You never even sent a gift.
      Alda: My gift was that I came at all.
      Marie: What kind of a horse's ass gift is that?
      Alda: You'd be lucky to have a horse's ass!

    • (Ally drew a moustache on Geoffrey)
      Frank: Can Hitler have a juice-box?

    • Debra: Hey, do you know what I think is really sexy?
      Ray: What?
      Debra: A man who does the dishes.
      Ray: No, does nothing for me... Do you know what does it for me? A woman who does the dishes... with another woman!

    • Frank: He wants you to deliver his eulogy.
      Ray: Why? I hardly knew the guy.
      Frank: It was his dying wish.
      Robert: Even dead people love Raymond.

    • Frank: Ray, I've got some news. I don't know the best way to break this. Your great-uncle Gus—dead!
      Ray: Oh, no, I liked him.
      Robert: Yeah, me, too—hey, nuts!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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