Everybody Loves Raymond Season 3 Episode 10

Marie: What are you doing here?
Frank: Well, I rolled over in bed, and suddenly there was no Great Wall of Marie to stop me!

Ray: Where's your dog, Robert?
Robert: I don't think Shamsky would eat this.
Ray: Yeah, but we could eat him.

Debra: What about your diet, Marie?
Marie: What's the point of living longer if you're miserable, dear?
Debra: I think that every day.

Robert: Don't worry, mom, I still like the turkey see melts in your mouth.
(eats one piece and starts radidly bagging on the table)

Marie: We had our cholesterol checked, and we're very close to the danger zone.
Frank: Mine was lower than hers.
Marie: One point.
Frank: I'm still gonna live longer than you.
Marie: What, thirty seconds?
Frank: Thirty seconds in paradise!

(Frank snatches the garbage bag full of the food Marie threw out of the fridge)
Marie: Where are you going?
Frank: On a picnic! Out with the old bag! (points at Marie) In with the new! (holds up garbage bag)

Marie: You ordered this, Frank.
Frank: Why do you assume it's me?
Marie: Because you're the one who wants to kill me.
Frank: Okay. But I still didn't order this.

Marie: Raymond, Debra is teaching me so much about cooking.
Ray: You're learning cooking from Debra? Okay, (points down) so heaven is here, (points up) hell is here, it's raining monkeys, and wood is now a drink.

Frank: Don't listen to her. It's not eggs. It's that fake egg crap.
Marie: It tastes exactly the same.
Frank: Yes—exactly like crap.