Everybody Loves Raymond

Season 9 Episode 15

Pat's Secret

5
Aired Friday 8:30 PM May 09, 2005 on CBS

Episode Recap

Hank and Pat visit to attend Amy's birthday. Robert shows them a puzzle and wonders if they could do it together like Ray and Pat did, but Hank points out that they already did the puzzle Robert has. During the night, Robert goes into the kitchen and sees Pat outside. When he goes to talk to her, he is shocked to see that she is smoking. She begs Robert not to tell anyone and Robert promises. He then asks her how she kept it a secret and Pat said she bought her cigarette two counties over and she always chewed a lot of mint gum. As a way to bond with Pat, Robert asks for a cigarette, but it makes him sick after one puff, and Pat has to help him back to his room. While Robert tries to go to sleep, Amy starts to smell the cigarette smoke of his clothes and starts to think that he is a smoker. Marie wakes up and as is so shocked after smelling Robert's clothes that she slaps him in the face. Robert tries to cover for Pat by saying that he got his cigarette from some guy at work. Hank and Pat wake up and Hank is in total shock when Marie tells him that Robert smokes because he teaches Health at the school where he's also the vice principal. He then asks Robert the same question he asks every student he catches smoking, "Why don't you just drink poison?" Robert thinks that Pat will come to his aid, but instead he just says how dissapointed she is in Robert. The next day, Robert goes to Ray and Debra's and Ray starts making fun of him for finding out he smokes. Robert then tells them the whole story how Pat smokes. The others then arrive for Amy's birthday party and Debra and Ray take Pat into the kitchen to tell her what Robert told them. Pat says she feels awful for not saying anything, but she's too scared of what Hank will say if he finds out. When the three go into the living room, they see that Hank and Marie are both giving Robert a hard time. All of a sudden, Ray blurts out that Pat is the smoker. Hank is about to yell at Ray until Pat finally admits that she smokes. She then explains how she uses smoking as a way to calm herself. Robert then tells Hank that a lot of couples do a bunch of weird stuff to calm themselves. He says that Ray always drives around the block a couple times before facing Debra after he's done work. Ray get a little nervous, but Debra tells him that she sees him all the time and says that before he comes home, she starts eating a lot of chocolate. Peter then mentions that sometimes when he's mad at his cat, he'll sneak up behind her and bark like a dog. Hank then admits that whenever he is angry, he'll go into the woods to blow up some fireworks. Frank and Marie then explain that they don't need to do weird things when they're mad, they just let it all out, which they think is healthy. Debra comes in with the birthday cake and Pat offers to use her lighter to light the candles but it's out of fluid. Luckily, Hank has some matches with him. He then jokes that if no one is going to eat the cake, they could always blow it up.

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