As a challenge, Ray writes a eulogy for Frank—who hasn't died yet—and sets off a firestorm when it's discovered.
Raymond Albert Barone
Ray: (about Marie) Can you believe her? She wants me to write her eulogy now!
Debra: Ray, she's gonna want you in the coffin with her.
Debra: Ray, you have to talk to him about this.
Ray: No. No, I'm not!
Debra: So the only way you can have an actual conversation with your father is if he's dead?
Ray: So you see my problem!
Frank: I hated that bunny! And you never cleaned his cage, by the way. It was always dirty. You kids—"Daddy, buy me a bunny! We'll take care of it!" I was lied to.
Ray: I was eight.
Frank: And already a liar!
Robert: (talking to Ray about Frank's funeral) You know what I'd like to know? Why do you just assume that you get to do the eulogy, huh? What's my job gonna be at the funeral--keeping your screaming fans off the stage?
Ray: Hey, how's Dad doing?
Marie: You didn't tell him about the eulogy, did you?
Ray: No, why?
Marie: Because ever since he came back yesterday, he's been in a terrible mood. Debra, did you give him something to eat?
Martin: (after Ray takes the kids' drawings off Frank and Marie's fridge) What are you doing with those?
Ray: Oh, um, I don't know. I thought I'd frame them.
Frank: That chicken scratch? What does it say to your children if you frame even their worst crap?
Marie: It says you love them.
Frank: It says you love crap!
(Stan and Garvin come in the door at Frank and Marie's house)
Stan: Did you leave this at the lodge? (takes a stuffed bunny out of his coat)
Frank: What the hell is this?
Stan: I think you know what it is.
Garvin: And I think you know what to do! (Stan waves the bunny in front of Frank's face)
Marie: Oh that's adorable.
Frank: Get out of here. Are you telling everyone your lies?
Ray: I didn't tell him anything.
Garvin: That was the talk of the lodge.
Stan: Yeah, how you would go in the backyard and sing songs to the bunny and rub noses with him. (rubs noses with the stuffed bunny)
(Robert uncovers the eulogy. Ray snatches it from him)
Ray: Michael, why would you write something like this?
Debra: (to Ray, about Frank petting Hoppy) Are you sure he wasn't punching the bunny?
Ray: You were the toughest son-of-a-bitch I ever knew.
Frank: You gonna put that in?
Ally: Daddy's weird.
Michael: I drew a picture of you, Uncle Robert.
Michael: And that's Mommy in the picture, too.
Robert: Oh, great, and where is your Dad?
Michael: I didn't draw him.
Robert: May I keep this?
Ray: Yeah, well, they're not done yet, they still gotta draw the bolts in your neck.
The opening credits feature the "Jungle Love" montage from the end of "Everybody Loves Raymond: The First Six Years."
Referring to a drawing done by the twins of Robert, Ray says to him "Yeah, well, they're not done yet, they still gotta draw the bolts in your neck." This is just the latest of Ray's Frankenstein references about Robert. In Mary Shelley's novel Frankenstein, Victor Frankenstein's creature has bolts in its neck.
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