Everybody Loves Raymond

Season 3 Episode 13

Ping Pong

Aired Friday 8:30 PM Jan 11, 1999 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Ray: If I didn't really beat Dad, I'm just a twelve year old boy crying in my basement.
      Debra: I thought a ball hit you in the eye.

    • (Marie goes from Ray's side of the table to Frank's side of the table)
      Frank: I actually liked you better on the other side. The tilt of the basement was working in my favor.

    • Robert: Oh, God, I was just thinking about my childhood, and dad, playing us in Ping-Pong.
      Ray: Oh, yeah, with the taunting—
      Robert: Yeah, and the rhyming of the scores.
      Ray: Ten serving three, you can't compete with me.
      Robert: Fourteen serving one, you're really not my son.

    • Frank: Marie, get a mop, 'cause after I play Ray, the floor is going to be soaked with tears.
      Ray: Yeah, but they're gonna be your tears, 'cause it's gonna be your funeral.
      Frank: If it's my funeral, how could I be crying?
      Ray: Nice try!

    • Frank: Hear ye, hear ye. Will all women and children please retreat to a safe distance, except for my little girl, Raymond.

    • Robert: Alright, here we go, cubby.
      Ray: Trash talk allowed, right?
      Robert: Bring it on!
      Ray: Zero serving zero, you experimented in camp. (Robert walks off)

    • Ray: Zero serving six, you're fat and you smell.

    • Frank: Two serving nada, I'm ashamed to be his faddah.

    • Frank: What ya gonna do, Raymond? Talk trash to me?
      Ray: No.... I don't know. I'm distracted by the shine off your scalp.
      (Robert and Marie start laughing)
      Marie: That's a good one! Ha ha. (turns to Frank) 'Cause you're bald!
      Frank: Take all the skin off my head, it still wouldn't cover Ray's nose.
      Robert and Marie: Ooooooooh.
      Ray: Yeah, well, I wish you would because then I wouldn't have to smell your head without the skin on it.
      Robert: What's that supposed to mean?
      Ray: It means 'shut up', Robert.

    • Frank: Zero serving zero, Ray can kiss my rear-o!

    • (Ray and Robert throw Marie's huge fabric on the basement floor)
      Marie: (upstairs, not knowing what happened) What was that?!
      Ray: Nothing, Ma. Robert just fell.
      Marie: On the fabric?!
      Ray: No.
      Marie: Alright.

    • (The twins just threw Ray's golf bag down the stairs)
      Ray: Do you know that that's daddy's golf bag?
      The twins: Yeah.
      Ray: Yeah, you do... Well, do you know what titanium is?
      The twins: Yeah.
      Ray: Do you know how hard daddy works?
      The twins: Yeah.
      Ray: Don't you know that golf is all daddy has?
      The twins: Yeah.

  • Notes

  • Allusions