Raymond Albert Barone
This episode's "Where's Lunch?" is a doughnut assortment (glazed, a chocolate frosted long john, a chocolate frosted with nuts, and a cherry frosted)
Ray: Ma told us how much you've been "slowing down."
Frank: Well, I may not be where you kids are right now, but I think a couple times a week is pretty good.
(dead silence; Robert and Ray are stunned)
Robert: A couple times a week?
Ray: Holy crap!
Debra: We are turning into your parents!
Ray: Okay... which one am I?
Debra: Do you know that your sex drive is diminishing?
Ray: Well, if you're my mother, then what do you expect?
Frank: Hey, in this department I speak the truth! You could set your clock by me.
Ray: You could set it every 20 years.
Robert: Hey hey hey a little respect!
Frank: (to Robert) That's alright, that's alright. (to Ray) Listen, sonny, if you're having trouble making the wee-wacky-woo-hoo, you did not get that from me!
Ray: Maybe I'm trying less because of all the rejection. I'm like the monkey who gets shocked every time he reaches for the pellet.
Debra: I just kissed you, rubbed your chest, kissed you again in an impure manner, you never took your eyes off the TV. Ten years ago all I had to do was be awake...sometimes not even that.
Ray: I'm still...a sex machine.
Debra: She might ask about you and Grandpa.
Marie: Well, if she does, I will change the subject and give her a cookie.
Debra: Is that what you do when Grandpa asks?
Debra: Why did you tell me it was only once a year?
Marie: Because this whole topic is improper! What we do in our bedroom is our own business, and I prefer not to be known as the Whore of Lynbrook.
Frank: We can move from Lynbrook.
Robert: How many times would you say that you and Ma...
Ray: Oh, somebody kill me!
Robert: And look, by the way, you don't have to call her Mom. We got a system. You can pick any name.
Frank: Another name?
Robert: Yeah, yeah, uh, that way it's not embarrassing.
Ray: Yeah, I think we're past that.
Frank: Harriet Lichmann.
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