Everybody Loves Raymond Season 4 Episode 21

Frank: Hey, Ray, you wanna hear my impression of Robert's tushie cushion? "How about a salad, Fatso?"

(Robert's apartment stinks and he shows everyone the candle he's using to get rid of the smell)
Robert: This is Lavender Bouquet.
Ray: Can we use it to light the apartment on fire?
Debra: Robert, you got any more candles?
Frank: Or an old sneaker I could bury my face in?

Robert: Make yourselves at home... or not.
Frank: I say not.

Frank: Robert said that I smell like a billy goat.
Marie: Which wasn't true yesterday.

Debra: Robert, we were just talking about your birthday.
Robert: Oh, yeah, my birthday. Happy birthday to the middle aged man who's still living with his parents.
Marie: (sing-song) And many more.

Debra: (Mocking Robert) "Wah, wah, wah. My mother doesn't pay enough attention to me. I just broke up with my girlfriend. Raymond has a better life then me. Wah, wah, wah".
Robert: I don't say, "Wah, wah, wah".
Debra: You're acting like that right now.
Robert: That's because I just said, "Wah, wah, wah".

Marie: (to Robert) You're never too big to cry, dear.
Ray: Although you might be close to the cut-off point.

Ray: How do you do it, how do you live with them? If I were you by now I'd be wiping off my fingerprints and rehearsing my 911 call.

Debra: Oh, Robert. I'm sorry I yelled at you.
Robert: And I'm sorry I called you perfect.

Debra: Robert, what's that smell?
Robert: It's milk. Apparently when you leave milk out for three weeks, it goes bad and then explodes.

Marie: I have my perfume! (sprays Robert's apartment with it to mask the rotten milk smell)
Ray: Yeah, that's good, Ma. Now it smells like a cow died in a whorehouse!

Debra: (to Robert) Hey, you better be nice to me, pal, 'cause I'm the last person in the family that doesn't want to climb up there and strangle you!
Robert: Aaaah, another height joke. How nice. Very refreshing after all the "bull in the ass" jokes.

Robert: (about the gym membership Debra gave him) I'll tell you what, Deb, why don't you take it, huh? You can go and exercise and lose like half a pound and then officially be perfect. (mockingly) Perfect Debra, sitting in a tree, P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
Frank: Hey, that rhymes.

Debra: (to Ray and Frank) Good, because I need to talk to you guys.
Ray: Oh no! Oh lord! Oh mighty what?!
Debra: Listen, I've been thinking what to get Robert for his birthday.
Frank: Ok. (looks in his wallet) All I got is a ten. Can this be for Christmas, too?