Raymond Albert Barone
Frank is saying the he is able to fake taste and Marie won't find out. If Frank couldn't taste Marie's lasagna earlier and he let her know that, why was he thinking of faking the taste when she was serving her brunch.
Robert: (Reading the label on the pills) "Possible side effects: Headache, stomach cramping". Oh my god, Dad look at this, "Loss of taste".
Frank: You're kidding?
Robert: Didn't you read the label?
Frank: No. My eyes are as bad as my foot.
Frank: I have been taking these pills.
Robert: For what? Blood pressure?
Frank: Nah, just some herb pills Stan and Garvin gave me.
Ray: Stan and Garvin?
Frank: Yeah, they're for my...foot.
Frank: You know. My foot.
(Ray and Robert look at the pills and then look at Frank in disgust)
Frank: I don't get it. How is this happening to me?
Ray: Maybe...maybe your sinuses are stuffed up, you know? 90 percent of taste is smell. That would explain why you don't smell...you.
Frank: Nah, I can smell me. I just don't mind me!
Marie: Here, Frank, try the frittata.
Frank: Bring it on! (eats some, can't taste anything but pretends he can) Mmmm! Oh, wow, that's good!
Marie: No, it's not! That's Debra's!
Marie: That doesn't need salt. What's this about, Frank? You mad at me?
Frank: No, I just want the salt.
Marie: Baloney! It's because I yelled at you last night for blowing your nose into your sock!
Robert: You know, Dad, I have to say, I'm surprised that you can't appreciate the interplay of these flavors--the smokiness of the ham, delicately contrasting with the sweetness of the egg custard.
Frank: Why don't you put on a dress and do a dance?
Frank: Hey, could you pass the salt?
Marie: What did you say?
Frank: I want to put some salt on this.
Marie: In 47 years of marriage, you've never salted my lasagna!
Frank: Marie, it's bad enough it needs it. You gotta remind me how long we've been married?
Ray: Hey, Dad. What are you busting Ma's hump about the lasagna for?
Frank: I wish it was just the lasagna. Have you tried any of these quiches she made? I've had belly lint with more flavor!
Frank: No, all I'm saying is that this is not doing it for me.
Marie: (stunned) Oh. Well, then, by all means, have the salt.
Frank: Thank you. (Marie takes his plate of lasagna, throws it in the sink, and storms out) "Pass the salt." The list of things I'm allowed to say is getting shorter!
Ray: Mmmmm, what's for brunch?
Marie: Well, I made pasta with pesto sauce, chicken sausages, pork sausages, eggplant curry, Waldorf salad, and mini-quiches with ham for hors d'ouevres.
Ray: What, is it a half day today? What's up?
Marie: I made a frittata.
Marie: (condescendingly) Well, good for you, dear.
Marie: Taste this pesto, Raymond.
Ray: (tastes it) Mmmm, perfect.
Marie: Really? You like it?
Ray: Yeah, of course.
Marie: I don't know anymore. Last night, your father told me that my lasagna needed salt.
Ray: What? Oh, come on!
Amy: I don't believe it!
Debra: (sarcastically) How dare someone criticize another person's cooking!
Marie: I have to admit, all great artists must face the fact that one day, their gifts will fade.
Ray: Ma, come on. Your gifts aren't fading. You da man!
Marie: Your father used to salivate over my meals, but lately, it's like he's just going through the motions.
Ray: Ma, Ma, Ma, you still got it. You're the Pavaratti of pesto!
Marie: That's a sweet boy. Nothing like his father.
Debra: (to Frank) Yeah, let me tell you something about Ray...He might talk the big game, but there's a lot of times when he can't... put his best foot forward.
Amy: Yeah, we love our guys no matter what they can or... can't do.
Robert: No, Amy, I forbid you to go over there and talk to him. (Amy walks up to him and gives him a mean glare) ...boo-boo.
(After Robert and Ray find out the girls went to talk to Frank)
Robert: (disgusted) You said you were going shopping.
Amy: We'll go shopping after this.
Ray: (to Debra and Amy) You girls better get to the mall before they run out of knick-knacks and paddywhacks!
Marie: I'm Rembrandt and he's blind.
For this episode, and for "Boys Therapy", Peter Boyle was nominated for the 2005 Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series.
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