Debra: What else, Ray? What else have you faked?
Debra: The bed?
Ray: Now wait a minute, that's one place I always give 110 percent!
Debra: I mean making the bed!
Debra: (after reading wedding invitation) Oh, my God!
Amy: I know! I couldn't even finish reading because someone was screaming, and then I realized it was me!
Debra: Explain to me how a grown man cannot fold a shirt! Explain to me how a human being with thumbs is not able to do that!
Debra: Three kids, and you've only changed like ten diapers in your entire life. (imitates Ray) "I can't do it, the diapers keep falling off!"
Ray: It's not my fault the kids have no hips!
Amy: And what's this? 'Attire optional?' It's supposed to be 'black tie optional.' 'Attire optional' means 'maybe naked'! There's going to be nude people... at the church... on a Wednesday!
Amy: Just... kill Ray for me, would you?
Debra: Oh, Amy... I will.
Robert: What do you think we should put for the greeting?
Robert: You know, like: 'Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hank and Pat MacDougall, We request an audience from you at our wedding.' What should we put?
Frank: 'Attention Idiots'!
Pat: 'Attire optional'? Hank, they're nudists!
Amy: 'Hank 'n' Pat'? They're not hillbillies, Robert!
In the syndicated version, Georgia Engel and Fred Willard don't appear.