Wow, this story had a huge impact on me. I raised 3 daughters alone. We lived in a medium scale neighborhood. There was major peer pressure on my three daughters. I worked two jobs, made sure my children looked like all the other children at their schools. My two older girls thought they didn't fit in to that small city because they didn't have a father living in their home in order to provide enough money for the clothes like the other kids had. I did everything I could to help them feel normal. There were no shootings or heavy drug-pushing going on in our town, although there was drug activity. But as far as I know, there was nothing violent as a result.
After I left my husband in 1979 having somehow found the guts to leave my wife-beating husband, a friend gave me a glass of Canii wine. That was the day of my first drunk. I started drinking and continued to do so for the next 7 years. The last year and a half were the worst for me and my children as they discovered how much I was drinking. I hid it from them for many years. Even my mother didn't know. During those years of drinking I had my own home built from the ground up with my money. He would not pay me child support. I got sober in 1987. I just celebrated my 20th anniversary in AA. Victor, your kids love you to pieces. What a gift you all have. My older two daughters hate me to pieces!! My youngest daughter has found it in her heart to forgive me the years I drank. I did not mistreat them; I worked one full-time job in an Emergency Room even during my period of alcoholism. I had a job transcribing at home during that period of our lives too. I made sure they had everything!! Your story was so interesting because you are a man that gives love and receives love and respect from his children when he has nothing to give them materially. I saw it; one cannot mistake that kind of love between a parent and his children. On the opposite end of the spectrum is me with my three daughters who only had a drinking mother for 7 years total. I was still capable and able to work both jobs and providing for my children during my drinking years. They weren't even aware of it until the last year and a half. I drank at home only. I worked my second job at home and was there for them in so many ways, yet to this day, they still despise me. Somehow, they mix up the seven years I drank (which they didn't know was 7 years until I told them) with the fact that I was missing from our home (working an evening shift in a local ER 3:30 p to 12 midnight). I went home, had two drinks and went off to bed so I could sleep fast and get up by 5 in the morning and start transcribing at my desk at the end of my bed in order to give my children all the things they wanted and thought they needed. I got them up, fed them, made sure their hair was right, clothes matched and off they went to school. But again, somehow they think I was missing due to my 7 years of drinking, five years of which I don't believe they even knew about. Those first five years were not heavy drinking. Two or three drinks when I got home from work, to relax, and as mentioned go to sleep fast and get up early and start my day over again.
My daughters lifed a comfortable life. My three daughters decided they hated me because I became an alcoholic. I have spent 20 years in AA meetings for me and to help others. Yet 2 have not forgiven me. The youngest has done her best to grant me forgiveness. What was the difference? Mr. Marrero you had time for your children. I was too busy giving them what I thought they wanted and needed that they did not have me emotionally present in their lives. I was there physically, but could not find the time to ask them how their day went. I robbed them of all contact with their mother emotionally and physically as I worked those two jobs. If anyone deserves a home, it is you Mr. Marrero. You provided everything a child needs. You had a roof over their head, albeit not a good one, but inside that home with the roof was something every parent in the world would love to have. As for me the thing I would love to have most is the total love of my children and their respect. I have worked on me and our family for 20 years using what I call Life 101 (another title by me for what AA gives to sober alcoholics). Our lives are still not healed. I refuse to stop putting one foot in front of the other. I will continue the trudge the road to happy destiny one foot at a time.
God Bless you Mr. Marrero and God bless the children you raised to become great men.moreless





