Extreme Makeover Forums

ABC (ended 2007)

A Way To Find Myself First

  • Avatar of nikkyt25

    nikkyt25

    [1]Sep 7, 2008
    • member since: 09/08/08
    • level: 1
    • rank: Weatherman
    • posts: 1

    I am obese weighing an astonishing 262 pounds and only 5 ft 4in tall. I want to be heard and I want to help people by telling my story but first I have to find a way to help myself. I am not ashamed to tell you that I live with a Mental Illness known as Bipolar Disorder. I was diagnosed at the young age of eleven years old. My life instantly became more difficult to predict and understand. Adjusting both diet and nutrition became nearly impossible due to medication side effects. At the young age of twelve I was hospitalized and gained 75 pounds within a few month period of time. I struggled to lose the weight and I feel like my body was not responding. I am not exactly excited to tell you that now I have a Neurological disorder called Dystonia also known as Tardive Dystonia. I have suffered minor and major side effects physically that make it extremely difficult and very challenging at times. My weight has been a constant battle for me. Recently by taking certain medications/prescribed drugs I have gained about 100 pounds. I use a walker or a cane mostly to get around which limits my every move. Sometimes my limbs are so stiff that it hurts to move. The disorder I have can be disfiguring and disabling at times. I try my very best to be hopeful. I try so hard to stay active even if that means walking around the house cleaning or a short walk.

    I also have asthma and sometimes I gasp for breath with little or no movement. Weight issues, obesity and Diabetes run on my fathers side of the family as well. I do my own research to keep informed of medical and health updates and changes. I am very concerned and scared that if I don't do something soon I will develop Diabetes. Yes, I feel weight loss surgery is an option. I am extremely self-conscious of my stomach/mid-section. I have layers of fat that fold over and cause uncomfortable rashes and bumpy skin. I get itchy and sometimes when I shower it burns. I have stretch marks on my stomach/mid-section, my thighs, and under arms. I am very uncomfortable and fidgety when I wear a bathing suit, tank top and anything that even slightly hugs or shows attention to my stomach/mid-section. I tend to wear clothing that covers me up. Even on the hottest and most humid days I hide underneath long sleeve shirts and long stetchy pants. I also like to layer my shirts to try and push in my fat rolls. It makes me feel as if I am suffocating myself. A fitting and somewhat flattering bra is nearly impossible for me to find.

    Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to tell you my story. It would mean the world to me if you would consider me for your ABC show Extreme Makeover. I have been judged and ridiculed about my weight, mostly by my peers. I am a much stronger person now. I try to always remember to take life a day at a time. Someone extremely wise and wonderful taught me something I will always remember. Nobody's perfect and we all have flaws some not even visible. Some may not like themselves sometimes but that is normal. You should always love yourself first. You can do anything you set your mind to do. Never give up on yourself. You should Love Yourself, Be able to Laugh at Your self and ALWAYS listen to your gut feeling.

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