Wild Eagle: Papa Bear, you great leader, Crazy Horse.
Papa Bear: Nice!
Crazy Cat: Wait, why Papa be Crazy Horse? Why no me?
O'Rourke: What's the difference?
Crazy Cat: Big difference! I Crazy Cat. I make better Crazy Horse than Papa Bear. I crazy to begin with!
Wild Eagle: Before paleface come here, Injun have no problem.
Agarn: Yeah, Injuns had no money, either.
Wild Eagle: Never think of it that way.
Agarn: She even wants us to dig a moat! Who we fightin', Robin Hood?!?
Duffy: If she keeps botherin' me about my mustache, I'm going home to my wife!
Vanderbilt: You ain't even married, Duffy.
Duffy: No wonder I don't get no mail!
Mrs. Parmenter: How on Earth did you ever get into the cavalry?
Vanderbilt: I didn't mean to. I was riding a horse and it followed a bunch of other horses.
Capt. Parmenter: Gee, I wonder when the stage is going to get here.
Agarn: I got it all figured out, Captain. If they get here in the next 20 minutes, it'll be the earliest they've ever been late.
Mrs. Parmenter: (packing to go back East) Horace Greeley had a terrible sense of direction!
Greeley, the editor of the New York Tribune in the mid-19th century, famously wrote in the paper, "Go West, young man," although who actually originated the phrase remains in dispute.