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Col. von Zeppel: This fort lacks dicipline. In Prussia, things are different. If I order my men to march off a cliff, they march off a cliff!
Parmenter: Isn't that hard on them?
Col. von Zeppel: It's harder on me. I have to keep training new men.
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O'Rourke: I'm glad they settled their differences like men -- in a poker game.
Agarn: Yeah, but I still say the Colonel cheated. I don't see how three kaisers can beat a royal flush.
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Col. von Zeppel: (at duel) Vat is your choice of veapons?
Capt. Parmenter: How are you at arm wrestling?
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Wild Eagle: Once we have brave who say he fly in air. He sew feathers on arms and he jump off mountain.
Crazy Cat: He fly real good!
Wild Eagle: But he land real bad.
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O'Rourke: We don't want to go on the warpath!
Wild Eagle: And me no want to go on warpath! (Whining) War paint make skin break out.
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O'Rourke: What is that you're putting on the boots?
Agarn: Well, I ran out of boot black, so I'm using what I put on my hair.
O'Rourke: Hair oil on boots?
Agarn: No. Bacon grease.
O'Rourke: Ah, no wonder you smell like breakfast.
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Wrangler Jane: I got a letter for ya. It's marked "Special, Rush, Urgent."
Capt. Parmenter: I wonder if it's important.