F Troop

O'Rourke: We won't have any customers for a while. Pete: Hekawis on the warpath? O'Rourke: Are you kidding? Wild Eagle has to send out a draft call to get enough braves for a rabbit hunt.

El Diablo: El Diablo does not rob the poor. El Diablo rob the rich and give to the poor. El Diablo is what you call, um, Little Red Riding Hood. Capt. Parmenter: That's Robin Hood. El Diablo: That's what I am. Little Red Robin Hood.

El Diablo: Which way is it to Fort Courage? Wild Eagle: Go back same trail you came. Make right turn at big rock that look like bear. Then make left turn at big bear that look like rock.

Wild Eagle and Crazy Cat: (recognizing El Diablo) Agarn! El Diablo: Agarn? Wild Eagle: Corporal in F Troop look exactly like you. Same size, same color eyes, same nose, very stupid. El Diablo: Is my cousin. Wild Eagle: Smartest soldier at the fort!

Wild Eagle: Where I seen you before? El Diablo: Must be in the post office. I hate those pictures. Bandits always look ten pounds heavier on reward posters.

Crazy Cat: El Diablo? Wild Eagle: The famous Mexican bandit who robs banks, stagecoaches, gold trains and who has a $10,000 reward on his head? El Diablo: I see you have heard of me. Wild Eagle: No.

Gaylord Agarn: I tell you, sir, my nephew Pancho Agarnado is the boll weevil in the Agarn family cotton bush.

Granny Agarn: I alway said Pancho Agarnado would never amount to a hill of beans, which he kept eatin' all over my livin' room rug.

Capt. Parmenter: But it's much too dangerous for you to go alone. Agarn: Oh, sir, I'm not afraid. As long as I know El Diablo is in the territory, I won't sleep at night. O'Rourke: Ah, well, you take a nap every afternoon anyway.

Capt. Parmenter: (looking at Agarn's imagined list of ills) Cold chills? O'Rourke: Hot chills? Capt. Parmenter: Lukewarm chills? O'Rourke: You've got everything on there but the black plague. Agarn: Keep reading!