F Troop

Season 2 Episode 2

How to be F Troop Without Really Trying

Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Sep 15, 1966 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Agarn: I'm tired of you treating me like I'm wet behind the ears!
      O'Rourke: Not wet behind the ears. The water has seeped into your brain!

    • Wild Eagle: Hekawi Indians always willing to agree with anything. If you don't see it in the treaty, just ask for it!

    • O'Rourke: I'll tell the IG that he'd better have a meeting with your bloodthirsty warriors tonight.
      Wild Eagle: Tonight? Better make that tomorrow afternoon.
      Agarn: Why?
      Wild Eagle: "Bloodthirsty warriors" afraid of dark.

    • O'Rourke: Agarn and I are the only ones that know that all your brave-hearted warriors are chicken-hearted braves.

    • Wild Eagle: Me sign so many peace treaties, only Indian chief with writers cramp.

    • Agarn: I want to say goodbye to you, Vanderbilt, old buddy.
      Vanderbilt: (talking to post)That's awful nice of you, Agarn. You've been a real friend. I'm going to miss seeing you.
      Agarn: You've always missed seeing me. I'm over here.

    • (Duffy begins reciting another Alamo story)
      Agarn: Duffy, Duffy, Duffy! Why don't you write me a letter about it. Send it Pony Express.
      Duffy: Pony Express stopped running five years ago.
      Agarn: I know that, Duffy.

    • Wrangler Jane: (slowly reading telegraph) To Captain Wilton Parmenter. Commanding officer, F Troop, Fort Courage. From Washington, D.C. War Department, Cavalry Headquarters, Bureau of Western Territorial Post, Department of Indian Affairs, Commander of Liaison and Troop Assignments. Here comes the message... (lots of Morse code)
      Capt. Parmenter: What was the message?
      Wrangler Jane: "No."

    • Wrangler Jane: Just remember, a watched pot never boils.
      Agarn: And just remember an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
      O'Rourke : What has that got to do with this?
      Agarn: Well, if she's worried about her pot, I can certainly worry about my health!

    • Capt. Parmenter: At times like this, I always remember what my father, General Horatio Parmenter, told me when I was just a little boy of nine. He sat me down in a chair and he said to me, "Son, there will be times in the Army when you will receive an order when in your heart of hearts you feel is unjust. And your first instinct will be to ignore that order. But you will find if you examine the situation carefully that those above you in high posts sometimes appear to give frivolous commands that never meet with your approval. But when you examine the situation further, it will ultimately be proven that your superiors have only good intentions for you and the Army and that the entire service is based on obeying orders."
      Agarn: How old were you when you got off the chair?!?

  • Notes

    • When it's pointed out to Wild Eagle that he smoked a peace pipe, he says, "I didn't inhale." The same line was used by presidential candidate Bill Clinton in 1992 when asked whether he ever smoked marijuana.

  • Allusions

    • The episode title is a take-off on "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying," a humorous 1952 book by Shepherd Mead, which later became a Broadway musical in 1961 and a movie in 1967.