F Troop

Season 1 Episode 8

Old Ironpants

1
Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Nov 02, 1965 on ABC
9.2
out of 10
User Rating
14 votes
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Episode Summary

EDIT
Captain Parmenter goes away to command school and comes back a hard-nosed officer that everybody hates. Meanwhile, O'Rourke takes orders for mail order brides in the captain's absence.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Ken Berry

    Ken Berry

    Captain Wilton Parmenter

    Larry Storch

    Larry Storch

    Corporal Randolph Agarn

    Forrest Tucker

    Forrest Tucker

    Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke

    Frank DeKova

    Frank DeKova

    Chief Wild Eagle

    Melody Patterson

    Melody Patterson

    Wrangler Jane Angelica Thrift

    John Stephenson

    John Stephenson

    Gen. Custer

    Guest Star

    Harvey Parry

    Harvey Parry

    Charlie

    Guest Star

    Ivan Bell

    Ivan Bell

    Trooper Duddleson

    Recurring Role

    James Hampton

    James Hampton

    Trooper Hannibal Dobbs

    Recurring Role

    John Mitchum

    John Mitchum

    Trooper Hoffenmueller

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

    FILTER BY TYPE

    • TRIVIA (1)

      • The mail order bride fiasco of this episode is mentioned in "Marriage, Fort Courage Style," when a professional matchmaker comes to the fort.

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Wrangler Jane: The men used to call you the "lovable old man" behind your back.
        Agarn: And now they call you Ironpants behind your pants!

      • Capt. "Ironpants" Parmenter: Sergeant, arrest this woman.
        O'Rourke: I can't do that, sir. She's a civilian.
        Capt. "Ironpants" Parmenter: Then draft her. Then arrest her.

      • O'Rourke: (negotiating price of mock Indian attack) $15. Take it or leave it.
        Wild Eagle: For $15, I could not even get squaws to attack.
        Agarn: $17.50?
        Wild Eagle: For that price, I cannot give you first-class attack. All you get are six braves on old horses, no war paint, no yelling and screaming.
        Agarn: What's an Indian attack with no war whoops?!?
        Wild Eagle: Would you whoop it up for $17.50?
        O'Rourke: He's got a point. Alright, we'll take the $20 attack, but I want a lot of braves, a lotta war paint, yelling, screaming.
        Wild Eagle: Now if you'd like to go for $25 attack, five redskins bite dust!

      • Wild Eagle: Wise, old Indian saying: "You show me squirrel with acorn and I show you happy moose!"
        Agarn: Chief, why don't you wise up and cut out those wise, old Indian sayings?

      • Vanderbilt: (ordering bride) I want a girl named Shirley.
        O'Rourke: Don't you care what she looks like?
        Vanderbilt: They all look alike to me. Right, Dobbs?
        Agarn: I'm Agarn
        Vanderbilt: You see what I mean, Sarge?

      • O'Rourke: (to staggering drunk) Charlie, look. I know you're the town drunk, but the saloon has only been open for ten minutes.
        Agarn: Charlie, you oughta be ashamed of yourself.
        Capt. Parmenter: Oh, nonsense. We're all very proud of Charlie. Why, we've got the fastest drunk in the west!

      • O'Rourke: Don't you worry, Captain. I'm gonna have that gun crew practicing every minute.
        Agarn: What do you wanna do, Sarge? Blow up the fort?

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • The episode title is a take-off of "Old Ironsides," the nickname given to the the famous US Navy frigate, USS Constitution. It earned the nickname when cannonballs reportedly bounced off her thick wooden hull.

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