F Troop

O'Rourke: The captain'll be in fine shape for that test tomrrow. Dobbs: He should be. When Jane wasn't looking, I poured a remedy of malasice, cotton seed oil, and bourbon in her soup. Duffy: I wonder how that'll mix with cactus juice and tequila? Agarn:(thinking of the whiskey he and O'Rourke poured in the soup) If the captain goes for seconds on that soup, we're in trouble. Capt.Parmenter: (drunken) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! O'Rourke: Sounds like he went on thirds. Agarn: Wouldn't you?!

Agarn: (after seeing a drunken Capt. Parmenter help Vanderbilt down a ladder) Now that's what I call the blind leading the blind.

Duffy: We had a lot of colds at the Alamo, sir. Capt. Parmenter: I'm sure you did, Duffy. Duffy: I'll never forget the first time Davy Crockett sneezed. I turned to him and I says, "Davy," I says, "gesundheit."

Capt. Parmenter: (tasting Jane's soup remedy) Mmm. Say, that's very good. You say this is what your mother gave your father when he had a cold? Wrangler Jane: Yes, and daddy had a cold all winter. Capt. Parmenter: I can see why!

Wild Eagle: Crazy Cat, did you send smoke signal to medicine man? Crazy Cat: Uh huh. Wild Eagle: Did medicine man answer smoke signal? Crazy Cat: Uh huh. Wild Eagle: What he say? Crazy Cat: Uh, "Don't smoke me, I'll smoke you."

Agarn: (visiting sick Wild Eagle) How you feeling, Wild Eagle? Wild Eagle: General Custer should have my head. Nothing personal.

Capt. Parmenter: Last month, you lost one blanket, one saddle, one bridle, four horseshoes and one horse. Agarn: Well, I have good news, sir. My horse, Barney, came home this morning. Capt. Parmenter: That's wonderful, corporal. And was he wearing his, uh, blanket, saddle, bridle and shoes? Agarn: No, sir. When he came back, he was stark naked. Capt. Parmenter: Why, I can't understand that. Agarn: I can. There are some juvenile delinquents in town who go out at night stripping parked horses. Capt. Parmenter: Really? O'Rourke: Oh, that's right, sir. Why, only yesterday, a youngster offered to sell me four hot horseshoes. Capt. Parmenter: I don't know what this younger generation is coming to.