Family Guy

Season 4 Episode 8

8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Jul 10, 2005 on FOX
out of 10
User Rating
653 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Peter runs up his tab at Mort’s Pharmacy. When he is told he has to pay, he decides to sell Meg to the Goldmans, who gives Meg to Neil. When Meg finds out that Neil is dating another girl, she becomes jealous and tries to find herself a boyfriend. Meanwhile, Stewie falls in love with Liddane, his new babysitter.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Original and intellectual

  • Horrible

    I don't understand why everyone seems okay with this... This is just horrid and impossible to sit through. The puke scene is the ONLY funny/enjoyable part and it also sums up my reaction to this horrendous thing. Even Fresh Heir is better.
  • Main Plot: Peter sells Meg to Neal to cover his debt at Mort's pharmacy. Meg is jealous of Neal's new girfriend. Sub plot: Stewie plots against the boyfriend of his new babysitter.moreless

    I've seen every episode of the show multiple times. This one was by far the worst. The humor in the episode isn't nearly as witty as normal. In fact it is mostly cheap references (without many funny "cut-aways" that FG is famous for). Much of the humor in this episode is juvenile, which unfortunately, appears to be what the show is progressing towards.

    This episode just seemed too easy to create. It's like those bad years of The Simpsons, when the writers thought that anything could get a laugh. In a way FG is cursed by its own past cleverness.

    FG can be much funnier than the puking scene. I mean how many cartoons have done that? If this was the only episode you've seen of FG, give it another chance.moreless
  • I do love this show, the first 3 seasons won my loyalty but seemingly this show is heading the way of the Simpsons in its 15th and 16th seasons, its lost the edge. Its pivoted heading downhillmoreless

    This was the worst episode ever, but the show has had a good run every single episode up until the fourth season was at least an 8/10. For the sake of the fans and the integrity of the show it be cancelled after this season. Perhaps Seth Mcfarlane is spreading himself to thin injecting his efforts into American dad and this show at the same time, if this is the case and he is simply spreading himself to thin then the show has hope, if he can regain his focus or hire better writers to collaborate with maybe the guys from Everybody Loves Raymond I'm sure they have a bit of time on their hands now.

    There have been some decent episodes this season my Fav so far has been Don't Make Me Over and there have been glimpeses of the cutting wit and intelligence of the First three seasons in some other episodes.moreless
  • Peter sells Meg to the Goldmans; Stewie falls in love with his babysitter

    Peter runs up his tab at Mort's Pharmacy. When he is told he has to pay, he decides to sell Meg to the Goldmans, who gives Meg to Neil. When Meg finds out that Neil is dating another girl, she becomes jealous and tries to find herself a boyfriend. Meanwhile, Stewie falls in love with Liddane, his new babysitter. This episode...I had no major problems expect for a couple parts. Anyway, I think Stewie's plot was a tad better than the main plot. I pretty much laughed at everything in that plot. My funniest part had to be Stewie yelling and at one point he mention the Simpsons and referred an episode of it. I did laughed at the part where Lois try to look for babysitters. As for the main plot, as I said, there's might be a couple problems with it, but I can ignore that. Overall, the main plot was pretty much superb but not as great as Stewie's. However, the part with the vomiting was super funny and I'm guessing this is the first time the writers did that but they emphasize more (as well as Seth's two other shows) in the later years. All in all, this episode was perfect. 10/10moreless
Seth Green (I)

Seth Green (I)

Chris (and various)

Alex Borstein

Alex Borstein

Lois (and various)

Mila Kunis

Mila Kunis

Meg (season 2+)

Seth MacFarlane

Seth MacFarlane

Peter / Stewie / Brian / Quagmire / Tom Tucker (and various)

JoAnna Garcia

JoAnna Garcia


Guest Star

David A. Goodman

David A. Goodman


Guest Star

Hillary Tuck

Hillary Tuck


Guest Star

Patrick Warburton

Patrick Warburton


Recurring Role

Johnny Brennan

Johnny Brennan


Recurring Role

Ralph Garman

Ralph Garman


Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

    • Peter claims that he'll be running for mayor the following week, but this never happens.

    • Stewie claims not to know if Meg has her own bedroom, yet a minute later he tells her he spits in her mouth while she sleeps. So he would have had to have already known that she had a bedroom to do that.

    • When Meg goes to "Everybody Loves Raymond", Ray calls his wife Patty, instead of Debra. Patty is the name of the actress who plays Debra.

  • QUOTES (23)

    • Peter: Okay, I got three crates of ipecac put on my tab. Now the last one gets the last piece of the pie. Go. (Brian, Stewie, Peter and Chris drink) Mmm that wasn't bad. (Vomits)
      Stewie: Oh! One down! That pie is as good as-- (vomits)
      Brian: Well I'm still feeling fine, maybe-- (suddenly vomits as well, Peter and Stewie continue to vomit)
      Chris: Yay! I win! I win! I--ugh I don't feel so good... (finally vomits. The others share in multiple vomits)
      Stewie: No! I don't want it I don't want it I--(vomits again)
      Brian: P-Peter, call 9-1-1. Call 9--(Vomits. Stewie vomits again, then Chris) Peter! Hold my ears! (Peter takes Brian's ears, but vomits all over his head, in reaction Brian vomits again)
      Lois: (Entering the room with a soup pot) Who wants chowder? (Brian, Peter, Stewie and Chris all vomit again)

    • Liddane: Hi, gorgeous man!
      Stewie: Oh, you! Must I lock up your tongue with the rest of the silver?

    • Lois: I never thought finding a babysitter would be so hard.
      Stewie: Yes, a shame you weren't more discerning when you picked that happening Bruce Jenner hairdo.

    • Stewie: (in chair being told about babysitter) Yes! I'm going to wow her tonight Rupert, I'm going to be cooler than Brian when he hangs out at the bowling alley.
      Brian: That's what I love about high school girls... I keep geting older, they stay the same age, hehehe, yes they do, yes they do....

    • Cecilia: Neil is such an amazing guy. We just make an absolutely perfect couple.
      Meg: You know...Neil liked me first and I was gonna go out with him when I was ready to settle for him. Get your own spaz!

    • Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
      Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
      Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.

    • Stewie: (to Meg) So, umm...this is uhh..awkward but uhh..have we ever actually, you know, met? I mean I don't even know, say for example, if you have a room up there. You know? A room? I have a room. You know Meg if you kill yourself now you'll probably get a full page in the yearbook. So, know thats something to think abou..(burps)..oops just burped.

    • Peter: I hope this isn't a ripoff like that breakfast machine I bought.
      (Cut to peter in his kitchen activating his breakfast machine. A ball rolls activating a series of devices soon reaching a balloon attatched to a string attached to a gun. This pulls the trigger and shoots Peter in the arm.)

    • Peter: Here honey, I got you this greeting card.
      Lois: "I'm sorry I sold our daughter into slavery."
      Peter: Yeah, it was really hard to find one of those in English.

    • Debra: Ray, your mother insulted my steak pizzaiola, again.
      Meg: (walks onto TV screen) Neil Goldman of Quahog, Rhode Island. Leave me alone. I hate you! I hate you!! (walks off TV screen)
      Debra: Anyway. Your mother insulted..
      Ray: I don't care anymore, Patty. After nine seasons, I just don't care. Maybe you could try not being a bitch.
      (Debra smashes a champagne bottle and tries to attack Ray with the broken piece that she is holding)

    • Coach: All right ladies, take it off, get in the shower, and bounce around for me.

    • Meg: I can't believe he's over me.
      Mort: I can't believe I'm out 34 grand!
      Peter: I can't believe it's not butter! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Stick around, more Family Guy coming up.

    • Stewie: You know what I do Meg? I spit in your mouth while you sleep.

    • Stewie: You know Meg, if you kill yourself now you'll probably get a full page in the year book.

    • Stewie: (to Jeremy, the babysitter's boyfriend) Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!

    • Meg: (to the boy) Please go out with me. I'm just trying to make Neil jealous. I promise I'll pay and everything.
      Boy: Yeah...uhh...that sounds cool but I'm gonna be in the hospital that night.
      (shoots himself in the stomach with a nail gun)

    • Meg: (after Neil Goldman dumped her) He's going back to Cecilia? I can't believe I'm actually jealous!
      Lois: I can't believe I actually touched him!
      Peter: I still can't believe it's not butter! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Next week, I run for mayor of Quahog. Do I have what it takes? We'll find out. Don't miss it.

    • Stewie: Oh, hey Liddane. Hey, what's going on? How are you? Yeah, oh it's just me, Stewie, just being myself, ah yeah. Oh, oh well this here? Oh, it's just my package, yeah just ah just ah my package, God delivered it I signed for it the world keeps on spinnin', yeah.

    • Peter: Kathleen Turner..ehh let's see how she looks..oh that's a shame.

    • Peter: Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in other flavors?
      Mort: Peter, are you eating those?
      Peter: No, I'm shoving 'em up my butt. Of course I'm eating 'em!

    • (Lois & Peter come home after the date)
      Meg: Finally! Look Mom I've had it. I'm not babysitting anymore. It's Saturday night I could be out having a life.
      Lois: Meg, if you don't wanna baby-sit anymore that's fine, but don't you stand there and lie to me.
      Peter: OH-HO Meg, she torched your ass man! She torched your ass.

    • Stewie: Uh, yeah, we couldn't run an ad that said no Portuguese... but uh.... no Portuguese.

    • Stewie: You know Meg if you kill yourself know you'll probably get a full page in the yearbook, so umm... that's something to think about, whoop just burped.

  • NOTES (1)


    • Peter: Here, take a Far Side one.

      The Far Side is a comic strip created by Gary Larson that ran in newspapers from 1980 to 1995.

    • The scene where Brian is hanging outside the bowling alley is a reference to the 1993 movie Dazed and Confused by Richard Linklater. Brian is impersonating David Wooderson (played in the movie by Matthew McConaughey).

    • The breakfast machine was a gag on "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure", the full-length film of "Pee-Wee's Playhouse", at the part where a breakfast machine makes him a smiley-faced Eggs and Bacon dish, though, of course, there was no 9 mm involved. This sort of device is also known as a Rube Goldberg machine.

    • Kramer vs Predator

      This is actually two references together. Kramer vs. Kramer was a groundbreaking film in 1979 about two people getting a divorce. Alien vs. Predator was a movie in 2004 that broke no ground. Unless you consider that it took place underground.

    • Kirk Cameron

      Kirk Cameron appeared on TV's Growing Pains and had other small roles thereafter.

    • Blind Date

      Blind Date is a show that matches two people that have nothing in common in an effort to generally have the guy crash and burn while trying to woo a beautiful woman.

    • Stewie: Aaauuggh! I'm a monster!
      The scene where Stewie turns into a half-man, half-teddy bear creature spoofs the classic horror film "The Fly."

    • 8 Simple Rules

      The title is based on a book called "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter: And Other Tips from a Beleaguered Father, (Not That Any of Them Work)" by W. Bruce Cameron. The book itself originated as a small internet column, also by Cameron, that grew in popularity, and eventually spawned the book - and later - the hit TV show.