Lois (and various)
Meg (season 2+)
Chris (and various)
Peter / Stewie / Brian / Quagmire / Tom Tucker (and various)
Cleveland/Herbert/Performance Artist/Greased-Up Deaf Guy (and various)
Mayor Adam West
When Peter calls the airport for help, and asks if he can turn off the movie "Last Holiday" because he doesn't think the last thing everyone on the plane should see (before they die when they crash) is Queen Latifah on skis - she was never on skis in the movie "Last Holiday" - she was on a snowboard.
The sign on Peter's truck says Support Our Troops and Fetuses.
Notre Dame Victory March
Brian recalls Stewie beating him up in Patriot Games when Stewie is about to drink from a cup that Peter spat in.
Lois: Glen, we're so thrilled for you.
Brian: Yeah. Guess it didn't take much for you to get your job back, now that you're a hero.
Peter: And I'm so happy, I don't mind that I was raped in a federal prison after being arrested for hijacking!
(Peter spits tobacco on the floor)
Brian: Peter, that's disgusting. Here, spit in this cup instead.
(Peter spits in cup and puts it on the arm of the couch)
Stewie: Oh, there's my apple juice.
Brian: Stewie, wait don't-
(Flashback to Stewie beating Brian)
Stewie: Where's my money? You gonna give me my money?
Brian: Oh, nevermind.
(Stewie drinks from the cup and starts yelling)
Lois: Chris, what happening to the couch?
Chris: Dad dragged it out on the lawn because he said "that's what rednecks do!"
Stink Fleaman: You know you're a redneck if you come from a rural area and behave as such.
Mike Drunkbeater: Ohhh! That dog of mine!
Walt "Coffee & Pie" Abernathy: Woohoohoohoohoo!
Larry, The Guy Who Works For The Department Of Water And Power: You tell me how that got in there. WOOOOOOO!
Stewie: This is going to be worse than that time I lived with Marlee Matlin.
(Flashback to Stewie in Marlee Matlin's home)
Marlee Matlin: (Farts continuously) Hey Stewie.
Stewie: Aw come on, Marlee, I know you can't hear them, but you've got to feel those things slapping out of there.
Tom Tucker: Some new developments on the Flight 209 trauma. Recently discharged pilot Captain Glenn Quagmire is apparently talking the plane down. Ollie Williams has the story. Ollie?
Ollie Williams: I'm at the wrong airport!
Tom Tucker: Whoops, well thanks Ollie. Coming up, why calling every Asian man you meet Chung King can land an anchorman in hot water.
Tom Tucker: Channel 5 has this exclusive recording of a mayday communication from the cockpit.
Peter: (From recording) Uh, hello, ground people? Uh, we, we got a little problem up here. Uh, we need some help or we're gonna crash... So, uh, that being the case, um... is it cool if I shut off "Last Holiday?" It seems unfair that the last thing these people might see is a mediocre comedy featuring Queen Latifah on skis. (Laughing) Cleveland look, she just fell over! She can't stand up on those things.
Airport Clerk: Aw, that was great.
Quagmire: Thanks. I know you have a choice in airport sex and I appreciate you choosing Quagmire. Please exercise caution when standing up as the contents of your panties may have shifted during coitus. Oh right! I got a plane to catch. Say, which gate is Flight 209?
Airport Clerk: 209? That flight left half and hour ago.
Quagmire: Oh my God! Oh my God! That plane's going down! My friends are on that plane! They're all going to die!
Airport Clerk: What? Oh no!
Quagmire: And that's not the worst part. Here's the condom I said I put on.
Airport Clerk: (gasp)
Quagmire: Hahaha, aren't I just the worst?
Herbert: Ma'am, I hate to be a nuisance but your son stopped kicking the back of my chair. (Kid starts kicking the back of the chair.) Thank you.
Cleveland: So how's the job hunt going?
Peter: It's awful Cleveland, Quagmire blew every gig we got him.
Quagmire: It's too bad, I really liked that job working on the Starship Enterprise. (Flashback to Quagmire on Starship Enterprise. He walks to Captain Kirk and whispers.) Dude, you got to introduce me to that black chick.
Peter: Besides, Quagmire don't even have a job.
Lois: Well you're going to have to help him find one because I'd have enough of him living in this house.
Peter: Eh, you're overreacting Lois and you can't spell overreacting without ovary... 'cause you're a girl.
(Meg is sleeping and a foot slowly goes into her mouth. Meg then wakes up.)
Quagmire: (whispers) Didn't mean to wake ya. (Quagmire's foot slowly leaves.)
Chris: (Runs into the room screaming.) Ahhhhh! Mom! Dad! There's somebody in my tree-house!
Lois: Yeah and there's an annoying little homo screaming in my kitchen. Which one do you think I'm more pissed about?
Little Homo: I'll remind you that I was invited here!
Plane Crew Guy #1: Sir, we have a confirmed crash, Flight 37 is down.
Plane Crew Guy #2: Well, we better alert the Mayor. I'll have to interrupt his photo op.
(Cuts to an elementary school)
Adam West: My Pet Goat. Page One. You know said my pet goat, I'm sure if I watched Grey's Anatomy, I'd like it, but I just don't have the time. (Government official comes in and whispers to Adam West and leaves. A long moment of silence occurs.) You should make the time said the farmer.
Airplane Fueler Guy #1: Did we finish fueling?
Airplane Fueler Guy #2: Do you see the hose in the plane?
Airplane Fueler Guy #1: No.
Airplane Fueler Guy #2: Well then I guess we're finished.
Airplane Fueler Guy #1: Thanks George, you wanna say that one more time without the sarcasm?
Peter: (After Peter's pickup truck rams into Quagmire's garage and a group of Korean girls scatter and run away.) Quagmire, I am so sorry.
Quagmire: Don't worry about it.
Peter: We can go after them.
Quagmire: Don't worry about it, they're tagged, they're tagged, just get me to the airport.
Peter: (on couch) Hey Meg, come here, have a seat. (Meg sits down then Peter yawns and puts his arm over Meg)
Meg: Dad? What are you doing?
Peter: Meg, I'm a redneck, which means I'm about to do something to you that you will not remember until you're 40. (Meg screams and runs away) Meg come back here! I meant sex!
Joe: Boy, this sounds like more trouble than a moose on the interstate.
(Cutaway to a guy driving on the interstate, he sees a moose holding a sign that says "Will do moose stuff for money")
Moose: Hey, can ya help me out? I'm trying to get a couple of bucks for something to eat.
Man: What's "Moose Stuff"?
Moose: Eh, whatever you want it to be. I could have sex with ya, or I could just stand over there and drink from the lake, and everything in between.
Man: Get in.
(Chris and Quagmire are on the couch with a calculator, Chris is typing in numbers)
Quagmire: Okay, now add twenty.
Quagmire: Now multiply it by four.
Quagmire: Now what do ya got?
Chris: Eight thousand and eight.
Quagmire: And what does eight thousand eight look like on a calculator?
Chris: Oh, Boob!
Quagmire: Boob! Yeah! Alright, alright, alright, Boob!
Chris: What if we had two calculators and we put em next to each other?
Quagmire: Huh! Yes, yes, yes, find one, yes.
(The phone rings, Lois answers)
Lois: Hello? Oh, you must have a wrong number, there's no one here by the name of Longrod VonHugendong.
Quagmire: (Incoherent. Motions to Lois that the call is for him)
Peter: Boy Quagmire, I'm really sorry they fired ya. I feel like this is partially my fault.
Quagmire: (Sarcastically) No Peter, it's perfectly normal to siphon jet fuel from an active runway with the intention of flying a pickup truck.
Quagmire: (Over the plane's intercom) Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, this is your captain Glenn Quagmire, uhhhhhhh we're lookin' bout a four and a half hour flight time today, uhhhhhhh got clear skies, good visibility. The temperature in Atlanta is sixty-four degrees, uhhhhhhhhhh the flight is gonna be a little longer than we've expected, uh we've got some very strong head winds, gigity. Uh, flight attendants, please prepare for takeoff.
(Peter and Brian are watching TV)
TV Announcer: We now return to Carl Sagan's Cosmos.
TV Announcer 2: Edited for Rednecks.
Carl Sagan: I'm Carl Sagan. Just how old is our planet? Scientists believe it's four bi--
Redneck: (dubbed over) Hundreds and hundreds of years old.
Carl Sagan: Scientists have determined that the universe was created by a s--
Redneck: (dubbed over) God (held long).
Carl Sagan: --ig bang. If you look at the bones of a--
Redneck: (dubbed over) Jesus.
Carl Sagan: --nosaurus Rex, it's clear by the use of carbon dating th--
Redneck: (dubbed over) Mountain Dew is the best soda ever made.
The scene where Peter tells his family that he was put in prison for impersonating a pilot was cut from the FOX version. It is shown on the Adult Swim version though.
The original title for this episode was Keep on Truckin'.
The name Longrod Von Hugendong was originally supposed to be Longrod Von Hugenshlong.
This episode was not fully approved until the Thursday before it first aired.
Amy Grossberg and Melissa Drexler: The prom night dumpster baby routine references these two teenage girls who self-delivered and abandoned newborn infants -- one at a prom, one in a dumpster. The cases became a cause celebre for conservatives politicians in the late 90's.
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
When Quagmire lands the plane in the field, he turns to the co-pilot and says, "That was too close." The co-pilot appears to be the Sullustan Nien Nunb who was the co-pilot on the Millennium Falcon during The Battle of Endor. Quagmire's comment also alludes to Lando Calrissian, who says the same thing after hitting part of the Death Star's inner structure.
The scene where 3 mice say "three weeks later" accompanied with a black slide with three weeks later on it is an allusion to the movie Babe. In Babe, 3 mice narrated much of the story in a similar way.
Some of the situations are allusions to the film Airplane!, including the music and the sound of the jet flying (which makes it sound like a propeller driven plane). The pep talk Hugh Hefner gives to Quagmire is the recreation of Leslie Nielson's pep talk to Robert Hays in Airplane!, switching the story of George Zip with porn star John Holmes.
Blue Collar Comedy Tour
The four rednecks at the beginning of the episode are a parody of southern comedians Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, Bill Engvall, and Larry the Cable Guy.
While reading to the elementary students, Mayor West mentions the TV drama Grey's Anatomy.
A "redneck" version of Carl Sagan's Emmy winning TV series Cosmos is shown. The original program was aimed at informing regular viewers on the wonders of the universe, including the origin of man, and the possibility of life on other worlds. This version however is dubbed over, replacing phrases supporting evolution with that of creationism.
Quagmire tried out for a job on the Starship Enterprise, and asks Kirk to introduce him to Uhura.
The photo of Peter getting out of the car with his crotch blurred is a parody of when Britney Spears had a similar "crotch-shot" incident on a night out with Paris Hilton.
The movie that was being shown on the flight was Last Holiday, starring Queen Latifah.
The cut-away scene where Peter takes Cleveland to a Michael Richards Stand-Up is a parody of the famous incident where Michael lost it and started blurting out racial comments about black people. It got him kicked out of the club.
Will & Grace
A scene parodying the opening title of the show Will & Grace is shown.
When Peter is flying his truck, he flies upside down over another plane and takes a picture, this is an allusion to the movie Top Gun. The music that accompanies this scene is also the theme from the movie.
When Adam West receives the news, the situation and his reaction is an allusion to President Bush's reaction on 9/11/01.
Little House on the Prairie
The end credits plays the end theme from Little House on the Prairie and shows Quagmire running in a meadow like Laura Ingalls.
There is a scene where Quagmire talks to Hugh Hefner, the founder of the popular adult magazine Playboy. Hugh Hefner is accompanied by his three girlfriends, who appear on the TV show Girls Next Door.
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