Family Guy

Season 5 Episode 8

Barely Legal

5
Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Dec 17, 2006 on FOX

Trivia

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  • Trivia

    • During the end credits, while Tom Tucker is explaining the upcoming news reports, you can hear that they used an older version of the end theme.

    • Meg develops a romantic obsession with Brian, even though in "The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire", she was appalled by his drunken suggestion of "screwing around".

    • This is another time where a guy would rather endure pain than go out with Meg. In this episode, her back-up date Jimmy kills his brother to attend his funeral, rather than go with Meg.

    • This is the second time we see that the Griffins have a bag of dog food, but Brian still hasn't been eating it yet.

    • When Meg and Brian are at the mall, the people at the Pizza counter keep changing between scenes.

    • A giraffe is supposed to have a blue tongue, but Peter's giraffe has a pink tongue.

    • Joe is seen at the front window of the Griffins house, looking at Bonnie. However, the Swansons live next door, not across the street.

    • Featured music during the prom:
      Hold on to the Nights by Richard Marx
      Why by Annie Lennox

    • Items Peter pulls out of Quagmire: a Cellphone, a doorknob, a wedge of cheese, a toy car, a fish, a copy of Good Burger, and a Xylophone.

    • When the guys arrive at the academy, Quagmire's shirt says "One In The Oven" with an arrow pointing down.

    • Meg's text message to Brian: U R EZ 2 LUV. LOL, MEG

    • In this episode, a giraffe crashes into Cleveland's house causing him and his bathtub to fall out of the second floor onto the ground. A similar incident happened in an earlier episode Hell Comes to Quahog .

  • Quotes

    • Brian: Look, you obviously didn't hear me yesterday, so I'll explain it again. And here to assist me is headmaster of the New York School for the Hard-of-Hearing, Mr. Garrett Morris.
      (a live-action shot of Garrett Morris appears between the two)
      Brian: Meg, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
      Garrett: (shouts) We're not boyfriend and girlfriend!
      Brian: I will never be attracted to you.
      Garrett: I will never be attracted to you!
      Brian: You're acting like a psycho bitch.
      Garrett: You're acting like a psycho bitch!
      Brian: Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
      Garrett: Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow!
      (Brian leaves)
      Meg: I won't be ignored, Brian!
      Garrett: (looks at her) Hmm. I like your ass.

    • Quagmire: What are you doing?
      Joe: I'm watching Bonnie undress.
      Cleveland: Bonnie's your wife.
      Joe: I like to watch her strip, and pretend she's a total stranger who looks exactly like my wife and lives in my house. Get naked, you strange whore!!

    • Peter: Yeah, Brian. You're doing the same thing that Mia Farrow did to that oriental guy that Woody Allen brought home from the circus.
      Lois: Peter, hold on to that thought because I'm gonna explain to you when we get home all the things that are wrong with that statement.

    • Quagmire: Alright ladies, are you ready for action?
      Woman #1: We sure are Glenn.
      Woman #2:Did you get the Hwhip?
      Quagmire:Got it right here--wait what?

    • Brian: The thing is, Meg is becoming a little enamored with me, and I'm kind of losing control of the situation.
      Lois: Oh she's just grateful you took her to the dance.
      Brain: Well, uhhh, I..I think its more than that..uhh..so here's the thing..and don't get mad and that part I can't stress enough, that's a great shirt by the way...ummm I may have made out with Meg..
      (Lois pauses then punches Brian)
      Brian: (rubbing his nose) Ok I had that coming.
      Lois: (furious) What the hell is wrong with you, you sick bastard!
      Brian: (getting to his feet) Look I was drinking..
      Lois: (sarcastically) Ohhh, what a shock!
      Brian: (sarcastic laugh) Look the short version is, this morning she made me eat the hair in her pie..
      (Lois punches Brian again)
      Brian: (getting up from the ground) No its not what you think, Stewie had some too..
      (Lois punches Brian again)
      Brian: (annoyed) Stop punching me!

    • (Brian, Meg and Stewie arrive at the mall to meet Meg's friends)
      Meg: (to her friends) Everyone, this is Brian.
      Friend 1: Ohh, this is Brian.
      Friend 3: He does look like Ben Affleck.
      Friend 2: He looks just like Ben Affleck.
      Friend 4: Is that Ben Affleck?
      Brian: (uninterested) Hey.
      Friend 4: So, how did you guys meet?
      Brian: I'm...uh...a friend of her dads.
      Friend 2: Oooh, he's older.
      Friend 1: He's cute.
      Friend 3: Do you have a brother?
      Friend 4: Makeup and stickers and ponies and myspace.com

    • (Stewie sitting at the table the morning after Meg's dance)
      (Brian walks in hung over)
      Stewie: Oh yes, the day can begin, good morning Brian. Now we can do this one of two ways, I can bust your balls to pieces right now, or we could spread it out over the course of the day.
      Brian: I don't want to talk about it.
      Stewie: Well I do, so tell me everything that happened at the dance.
      (Meg walks in and starts scratching Brian's ears)
      Meg: Morning cutie..
      Brian: H-h-hey
      (Meg walks off and pours herself a glass of orange juice)
      Meg: I had so much fun last night Brian. Hey I thought maybe we could go get some coffee later.
      Brian: Uh..I..I don't think so.
      Meg: Oh come on, who's a good boy? Who's a good boy huh? Who's a good boy?
      Brian: (wagging tail) Me...
      Meg: Oh yes, yes, yes who's a good boy?
      Brian: (continues wagging tail) I am, i'm a good boy...(stops wagging tail) uh...no no no...look..I..I..I..I got stuff to do today. Alright? Sorry..

    • (Brian and Lois are downstairs awaiting Meg to come down so Brian and Meg can go to the dance)
      (Stewie and Meg walk down the stairs)
      Stewie: Here she is, Brian I present to you your polish turd for the evening.
      Meg: How do I look Brian?
      Brian: Ahhhhhh.....you sure do Meg.

    • (Meg tells Brian about her backup for the dance and how he already had plans)
      (scene cuts to Meg at the front of Jimmy's door)
      Meg: Hi Jimmy, umm I heard you didn't have a date to the dance and I was wondering if you would like to go with me..
      Jimmy: Oh....uhhh...I...uhh....h-hang on..(runs inside and closes the door)
      (two gun shots are heard firing in the house)
      Jimmy: (reopening door, crying) I'd love to go Meg, but.. (sniffs) .. I have to go to my little brother's funeral that night..

    • Meg: I'm going to the mall later, (Provocatively) maybe you can come and help pick out some underwear?
      Brian: Uh, I don't think that's going to be a possibility...uh, I have...plans, um (Chris walks in) with Chris! Chris and I uh, have plans this afternoon.
      Chris: We do?
      Brian: Yeah, yeah we're doing that, thing. We're doing what you usually do on a Thursday afternoon.
      Chris: Masturbate?
      Brian: That's it, that's what we're going to do together.
      Chris: Well, maybe back to back, but I got to tell ya, I'm not a hundred percent on this.

    • Meg: Oh, just relax. We're going to be here for a hwhile.
      Brian: Well, I don't know if... Wait. What?
      Meg: We're going to be here for a hwhile.
      Brian: A hwhile?
      Meg: Yeah, a hwhile.
      Brian: You mean a while.
      Meg: A hwhile.
      Brian: A while.
      Meg: A hwhile.
      Brian: A while.
      Meg: A hwhile.
      Brian: A while.
      Meg: Brian, you're acting hweird.
      Brian: Oh, come on. That one doesn't even have an H in it.

    • Stewie: Ooh, let me have some of that Cool Hwhip.
      Brian: What'd you say?
      Stewie: You can't have a pie without Cool Hwhip.
      Brian: Cool Hwhip?
      Stewie: Cool Hwhip, yeah.
      Brian: You mean Cool Whip.
      Stewie: Yeah, Cool Hwhip.
      Brian: Cool Whip.
      Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
      Brian: Cool Whip.
      Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
      Brian: You're saying it weird. Why are you putting so much emphasis on the H?
      Stewie: What are you talking about? I'm just saying it. Cool Hwhip. You put Cool Hwhip on pie. Pie tastes better with Cool Hwhip.
      Brian: Say whip.
      Stewie: Whip.
      Brian: Now say Cool Whip.
      Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
      Brian: Cool Whip.
      Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
      Brian: Cool Whip.
      Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
      Brian: You're eating hair!
      (Stewie spits out pie)

    • Meg: We should totally be boyfriend and girlfriend.
      Brian: Well, Meg, uh, you know what's strange? I-I-I think I might be gay. Um, I-I saw this penis on the Internet today and I thought to myself, "Well, that's... that's just fine."

    • Stewie: (About Meg) FYI, the carpet matches the drapes, in color and length.

    • Lois: Oh Brian, it is so nice of you to take Meg to this dance. It really means a lot to her.
      Brian: Ya got any weed?
      Lois: I put it in your coat pocket.

    • Brian: You know, Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a bitch.
      Connie: Excuse me?
      Meg: Brian, let's just go.
      Brian: No, no, no, no, no. Now hang on... hang on, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were 12. But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So, you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age 19, you're going to be a worn-out, chalky-skinned burlap sack that even your step-dad won't want. How's that? Am I in the ballpark?
      (Connie cries and runs)

    • Brian: Aw, I'm sure you'll find someone to go with you.
      Meg: No I won't. I'm so fat and gross.
      Brian: Aw...
      Meg: I should just kill myself.
      Brian: Aw... That's... come on.
      Meg: I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kill myself 'cause no one will go with me.
      (runs to kitchen)
      Brian: Aw...
      (Meg opens drawer and rummages for a knife)
      Meg, stop it. Come on.
      (Meg takes out a knife)
      All right, all right. Meg, look...

    • (Telephone rings)
      Brian: Hello? Oh hey Jillian, what's up?
      Jillian: Brian, are you coming over to watch Laguna Beach tonight?
      Brian: Uh, what time does it start?
      Jillian: Ten o'clock, Eastern and Specific Time.
      Brian: What? What did you say? Specific Time? Don't you mean Pacific Time?
      Jillian: No I think it's called Specific Time. They mean it starts specifically at 10:00.
      (Stewie laughing)
      Brian: Stewie, are you on the line?
      Stewie: Yes.
      Brian: Jillian, I'll talk to you later.

    • (Giraffe inside Quagmire's window)
      Quagmire: Oh, good morning honey. That feels really good. What... ? Hey! Hey! Hey! What the hell? You're not the same giraffe from last night. Get out of here.

    • Peter: All right boys, the best targets are old, rich people. There's one now. Go get him.
      (Group of boys surround Herbert)
      Herbert: Oh no, there's no police here to help me! I hope you don't find the money strapped to my thigh.

    • Tom Tucker: Now let's go to Ollie Williams' Cooking Corner. What are you making, Ollie?
      Ollie: Eggo!

    • (Brian vomits after kissing Meg )
      Brian: Sorry, that was the booze not you. (pauses) You going to eat that?

    • Cleveland: (Giraffe crashes into Cleveland's house, and his bathtub slides out the hole in the wall) What the hell? No no no no no! I got to stop taking my baths during Peter's shenanigans.

  • Notes

    • It is revealed in the commentary for this episode that Connie DiMico's name was originally Connie Rezendes.

    • On the Cartoon Network airings, Brian said Connie started giving hand jobs when she was 12, but the FOX version has him saying she put out.

  • Allusions

    • The King of Comedy

      The scene in which Meg strips and tries to seduce Brian who is taped to a chair, is taken directly from 1982's The King of Comedy in which Masha (Sandra Bernhard) tries to seduce a kidnapped, duct-taped Jerry Langford (Jerry Lewis).

    • Allison Janney

      Peter's giraffe is called Allison Janney. Making fun of her height. Allison Janney played CJ Cregg on "The West Wing".

    • The Wiz

      When all the folks strip off their clothes to reveal they're all black, they start singing "A Brand New Day" from The Wiz, which is the song sung by The Wicked Witch/Evillene's Winkies after she melts.

    • Oliver Twist

      The part where Peter was teaching kids how to pick-pocket, it's from the Charles Dickens' novel, Oliver Twist.

    • Star Wars Episode VI--Return of the Jedi

      A cutaway shows Emperor Palpatine divulging a speech to Darth Vader, where he finds out the formula for great dialogue.

    • The Missing Piece

      Quagmire gives Meg the book The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein.

    • Saturday Night Live

      Garrett Morris revives his role as the headmaster of the New York School for the Hard-of-Hearing.

    • Brian and Meg story

      Most of the Brian and Meg story after the mall scene is similar to the movies Swimfan, and Fatal Attraction.

    • Good Burger

      While performing a body cavity search of Quagmire, Peter finds a copy of the movie Good Burger.

    • Police Academy Movies

      The part where the guys attend the Quahog Police Academy is an allusion to the various Police Academy films, including the theme song in the movies.

      Peter refers the training ground they go to as "Police Academy 4" which was called Citizens on Patrol.

    • Romancing The Stone

      Mayor West is seen watching the movie Romancing The Stone, which stars Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner.

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