Chris (and various)
Lois (and various)
Meg (season 2+)
Peter / Stewie / Brian / Quagmire / Tom Tucker (and various)
Fred Rogers (uncredited)
If Stewie is able to tell when he has too pee and control it, he is very likely ready to be potty trained.
The candy bar that Peter wants is called Middlefingers.
Tricia Takenowa: Sex: Some people prefer to do it anonymously. What sort of person would do that, you might ask? Well, I'm about to find out. I just met a man at a bar, and now he's in the bathroom, possibly doing drugs. (Quagmire enters the room) Stay tuned for more on my report. Back to you, Diane.
Quagmire: I've never done a Spanish chick before. O'le!
Bob Barker: Help control the pet population and have your pet spayed or neutered.
Brian: Oh, just die already.
(Brian begins to pee in the supermarket)
Stewie: You're URINATING! So, it's been you all along. Oh, this is too perfect! I've been taking the blame for Rex!
Brian: Okay, just to be clear, we were talking about me being in love with you and you rejecting me, right?
Brian: I'm just making sure.
(He leaves but comes back again)
Brian: Say we were both drunk and we knew we wouldn't remember...
Lois: Well, I'd have to be really, really... (realizes Brian's trap) No!
Lois: Stewie, did you unhook mommy's bra?
Brian: My therapist thinks he's figured out what my problem is.
Peter: Oh yeah, what does Sigmund Fraud think it is?
Brian: He, ah, thinks I'm in love.
Peter: Oh my God. You can talk!
Brian: Never mind.
Peter: Hey Brian. How ya doin'? They let you out already?
Brian: Peter, I was in a therapy session, not a lunatic asylum.
Tom: And now part two of our very own Asian correspondent, Tricia Takanawa's special report on sex.
(Next, it shows a couple having sex with Tricia standing feet away from the bed)
Tricia: Tom, I'm standing in the bedroom of Judy and Glenn Issacs. Ten years married and still in love. What's their secret? Judy has an inoperable brain tumor the size of my fist and that just happens to be Glenn's fetish.
Dr. Kaplan: I'd like to pat you Brian. Would that be okay?
(Brian nods, Dr. Kaplan proceeds to pat him)
Dr. Kaplan: You're a good dog, Brian. A very good dog.
Brian: (sternly) Keep it above the waist, Doc.
Stewie: (sarcastically to Peter) Wonderful. And while we're at it, we can light up a doobie and watch porn.
(Peter is toilet training Stewie)
Stewie: Well, perhaps I could give it the old college try. Why don't you put your hands right there? It'll help me relax.
Peter: Okay, buddy.
(Peter puts his hands on the toilet seat and Stewie slams the cover over his hands)
Meg: Eww! Mom! Stewie peed on the rug again!
Brian: (feigning) No.
Lois: Oh, this has got to stop.
(Meg sniffs Rupert, who was lying in the urine)
Meg: God, it smells gross.
Brian: Well Princess, I don't see anybody dabbing yours behind their ears.
Lois: It's Stewie. He peed on the carpet.
Peter: Do I... Do I hit him?
Chris: (on the phone) So, ah, what are you wearing? (laughs) Wow. I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who you talking to?
Mr. Rogers: Hello, neighbor. I'm glad we're together again. (bell rings) Oh! I think I hear a friend traveling.
Stewie Griffin: Actually it's your mortal enemy, Stewie.
Mr. Rogers: W-what the?
Stewie Griffin: I wouldn't bother visiting the Neighborhood of Make-Believe today Mr. Rogers, I dare say you find it quite in ruins.
Mr. Rogers: What? (Mr. Rogers looks out and all are dead and Henrietta Pussycat is on fire)
Henrietta Pussycat: Meow Meow! Skin graft! Meow Meow!
Mr. Rogers: Oh, my God!
Stewie Griffin: That's right! All dead. And now Mr. Rogers ? Fred - may as well drop blood formalities - I'm going to kill you anyway!
Mr. Rogers: No, please... don't!
Stewie Griffin: How ironic ? Rogers - it almost rhymes with... eliminate.
Mr. Rogers: No! (Stewie shoots him many times with his gun)
Stewie Griffin: (wakes up) Eh, what, what? What the devil?
Lois Griffin: It's okay. Stewie we're just tucking you to sleep.
Mr. Rogers: But now it's time for you to meet Mr. Death.
Stewie Griffin: (wakes up from nightmare) Ahh!
Peter: Come on, Stewie. Don't you want to pee in a toilet bowl like a big boy? I remembered when I learn to use a potty all by myself. I was so proud.
(Flashback with the camera focusing on a young Peter, camera zooms out to reveal its actually just a picture on the wall, and its present day.)
Peter: Hey, Lois. I did it!
Lois: This could be a great chance for you two to bond.
Peter: Bond? James Bond. I'll do it.
Stewie:(about to kill Mr. Rogers) How ironic, Rogers, it almost rhymes with... ELIMINATE!
Stewie: What the hell is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food.
Brian: Oh, my God! Are you Stephen King?!
Dean Koontz: No, I'm Dean Koontz.
This was the first episode to air on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.
The intro in which Stewie kills Mr Rogers was removed from the original airing. It was restored for the Cartoon Network viewings.
Peter's line when Brian pees in the supermarket "Where do you think you are, K-Mart?" was changed to "Where do you think you are, Payless?" on FOX. CN airs this episode with the Payless line.
The man Brian runs over is horror author Dean Koontz who often rivals Stephen King. King was hit by a car in June of 1999 while walking near his home in Maine.
Peter: Oh yeah, what does Sigmund Fraud think it is?
Sigmund Freud is a famous psychoanalysis whose theories are still widely debated today. Some of his well known theories include the "Oedipus complex".
This is an ode to the closing credits of The Jetsons, which ran from 1962-63 and had more episodes made in 1984-85 and 1987.
In the original run, George came home and tried to walk Astro, but when Astro noticed a cat by the electronic dog walk, Astro began to chase it and George got caught into the dog-walk. Astro and the cat both looked on as George cried "Jane, stop this crazy thing!"
When Lois and Peter were fooling around in the yard, the book Brian is reading is The Perfect Storm.
Bob Barker: Help control the pet population, have your pets spayed or neutered.
Bob Barker is a game show host, best known for "The Price is Right". Since Barker was such an outspoken animal rights activist, at the end of each episode of the Price is Right he says "Help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered."
Mr. Rogers was a children's television show debuting in 1968. The town that Stewie destroys is called "Neighborhood of Make-Believe."
Brian: Oh my God! Are you Stephen King?
Brian's running over Dean Koontz is a reenactment of Stephen King's own unfortunate accident in June of 1999 while on a walk, when he was hit by a man driving a van and was badly injured.
The picture in the hotel where the Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa is doing her special report on sex, is a tribute to the painting in the movie Barton Fink starring John Turturro, John Goodman and Steve Buscemi, which takes place mainly in a hotel room.
Brian: I had this dream last night. Did you ever see Logan's Run?
Logan's Run is a story about a dystopian society that euthanises its citizens when they reach the age of 30. The book, written in 1967 and was altered in 1976 and made into a movie.
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