Take My Wife
Chris (and various)
Lois (and various)
Meg (season 2+)
Peter / Stewie / Brian / Quagmire / Tom Tucker (and various)
When the camera is not on Tom Tucker when he's making sounds, you can see the Petoria flag is backwards
When Peter is looking at a map of Spooner Street's surroundings, there is a road named "MacFar Lane". A reference to Family Guy creator, Seth MacFarlane.
Lois's pink dress is supposed to resemble that of Jacqueline Kennedy's
Among the people dancing the "Peter Griffin Bump" are Cleveland, Adam West, Mr. Weed, and Woodsy the Owl
When Peter is done singing Can't Touch Me, when we see the shot of everyone, the girl who Peter says "except for you, you can touch me," her hair is brown in that scene, but in the next scene, her hair is blonde.
If you look closely, the flag for Petoria is actually a bath towel.
In the United Nations General Assembly, seating is determined with a random drawing for one seat up front, with all other nations falling in line in alphabetical order in the English Language. Therefore, Petoria and Albania would not sit next to each other.
Adam West: We invited Jesse Jackson to open these negotiations with a prayer. (Everyone "oohs") But he wasn't available, so instead we have Latoyah Jackson.
Latoyah Jackson: Thanks. Um, "rub a dub-dub, thanks for the grub". Yay, God!
Adam West: How very inappropriate, thank you.
Susan Sarandon: Hi, I'm Susan Sarandon. A lot of you know me as Tim Robbins' mother, but I'm actually his girlfriend. And this is Stewie. (Picks him up)
Stewie: What the deuce?
Susan Sarandon: For less then a ticket price for one of my movies about capital punishment or neo-feminism, you can make sure Stewie never goes hungry again.
Stewie: (eyes her breasts) Yes, and from the look of those sweater cows, so could you!
UN Adjucator: Is there a problem back there?
Peter: You bet your funny accent there's a problem! I'm stuck up here in the nosebleeds! I'm the president of Petoria, and I want a better seat!
UN Adjucator: (Sarcastically) Oh, how could we not recognize the great nation of Petoria? Have a seat up front.
Peter: That's more like it!
UN Audjucator: And, hey, would you also like a special satellite that can scratch your ass with a laser beam from space?
Peter: They have those?
Peter: Look everybody! I got us another dog! (Jasper walks in)
Brian: What the...
Jasper: Hi! You guys have any Cheese Doodles? (honks a horn) That's what I do! I ask for a snack and then I blow the horn!
Peter: (reading his tax refund) Oh my god, it's better than I thought. An Audi! I'm gettin' a car!
Brian: Uh, Peter, there's a "t" in there. That says "audit".
Peter: No, Brian, it's a foreign car... the "t" is silent. (pauses) Sweet, I'm gettin' an Audi!
Chris: (lifting up his shirt and staring at his bellybutton) I have an innie.
Miss Stratford: Well, Mr. Griffin, you don't owe any money. Unfortunately, you are not entitled to a refund. (Peter screams) Mr. Griffin are you okay?
Peter: Sorry, I still haven't gotten over the loss of Party of Five. It'll take some time to get over it. Now what were you saying?
Miss Stratford: You're not entitled to refund. (Peter screams.)
Peter: I'm sorry. Come again?
Miss Stratford: You're not entitled to a refund. (Peter screams.) Was that for Party of Five, too?
Peter: No. That was for my refund. What the hell's Party of Five?
Peter: I don't want anyone swimming in this pool unless there's a lifeguard on duty. (Laughs stupidly) Duty. (Laughs again) Diarrhea. Lois.
Lois: (laughs) Peter, I'm holding iced tea.
Peter: First, I will return Joe's pool.
Joe: Oh, you got that right.
Peter: In exchange, I demand access to it on alternate weekends.
Peter: Accepted. I also demand to remain my own independent nation.
Mayor Adam West: Absolutely not.
Peter: How about you just give me your pen?
Mayor Adam West: You mean this cheap little pen we have millions of back at the office?
Mayor Adam West: No.
Albanian Diplomat: Excuse me, some of us are here to learn.
Peter: No one's talking to you, Albania.
Peter: Good morning, Joe.
Joe: Uh, Peter, what are you doing in my pool?
Peter: This is the newest province of Petoria. I call it "Johio."
Joe: What? You can't just come over here and annex my pool.
Peter: Yeah? Well, according to paragraph seven, sentence three, word eight of the Geneva Convention, "The." So tough luck, Swanson.
Lois: It's time to call this whole thing off. Nobody's on our side.
Peter: Are you nuts? Look at all these telegrams. "Nice going, Libya." "You da man, North Korea." "Great job, Iraq." Iraq, Lois! You know what? I'm gonna invite a few of these fellas over for a party.
Peter: Barkeep, petro nemo slappywag. That's Petorian for "More beer, you slappywag."
Horace: You still owe me for the other rounds, which comes to fifty bucks.
Peter: I'm a foreign diplomat. I don't pay for drinks. Do you think G. Gordon Liddy paid for his drinks while he was strangling people with piano wire for the good of our nation?
Peter: From this day forth, this territory will be known as Petoria. I was gonna call it Peterland, but that gay bar down by the airport already took it.
Brian: Face it, Peter. It's over. Why don't you sit down with the mayor and negotiate some kind of treaty?
Peter: Negotiate? Peter Griffin doesn't know the meaning of the word "negotiate."
General(Through Megaphone): Attention President Griffin! As you yourself may presently be aware of, my grammar sucks. We will know begin with Operation: Bombthecrapouttayourhouse. The guy who thinks up the names is on vacation.
You Can't Touch Me
Ah ah ah ah. Can't Touch Me.
Can't Touch me.
Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy,
From Lethal Weapon 2,
I've got diplomatic Immunity,
So Hammer, you can't sue.
I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets.
I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat.
Can't touch me,
Can't touch me.
Mayor Adam West: What in God's name is he doing
Can't touch me.
Cleveland (as Peter is doing the Worm): I belive it's called the Worm.
I'm a big shot, there's no doubt
Light a fire, then pee it out.
Don't like it, kiss my rump.
Just for a minute, let's all do the bump. Can't touch me.
Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump.
Can't touch me.
I'm Presidential Peter,
Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot! I've been around the world,
From Hartford to Back Bay
It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way.
Can't touch me.
Peter (to a woman): Except for you, you can touch me.
Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.
Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happened to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.
(in the future)
Student: So...wait, I don't get it. Can they understand the baby? What's up with that?
Cleveland: Oh Peter, that tickles me in a way, that if Loretta tickled me in that way, I'd say, Oh yea...that's nice...that's the spot.
Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!
Mayor West: I love this job more than I love taffy. And I'm a man who loves his taffy.... mmmmmm.
At one point while singing, Peter lauds his worldly experience, saying he's been from "Hartford to Back Bay" (a neighborhood in Boston). Despite Peter's belief that that makes him worldly, those two areas are only about four hours apart.
In the scene in the future, the student asks if they can understand the baby. This was a joke by the writers, who were always asked that question, and always see that question pop up. Seth MacFarlane has said that it depends on the joke...if it's funnier that Stewie can be understood then yes, he can be.
Brian's cousin Jasper is introduced in this episode, although he is not named or referred to as Brian's cousin yet. We dont find his name out until season 3.
Peter: Just like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2, I've got diplomatic immunity.
One of the main plot points of the movie Lethal Weapon 2 was that the main villain had diplomatic immunity, so the police couldn't arrest him.
Peter: I don't give a hoot!
During his song, Can't Touch Me, Peter says this line while knocking over a trashcan. In the background, an owl lunges towards Peter and is held back. This is a reference to what has been a popular ad campaign since the 1970's against littering. The owl, "Woodsy Owl," promotes it's slogan, "Give a hoot! Don't pollute!"
E. Peterbus Unum
This title is taken from one of the mottos of the United States, E Pluribus Unum. Meaning, "Out of many, one."
Saddam: And then Jerry guessed that her name was Mulva... hahaha
A refference to a Seinfeld episode in where Jerry realised he did not know the name of his girlfriend.
Peter: I have to draw you
This is a quote, and subsequent refference from the movie "As Good As It Gets" It may also serve as yet another in a long string of Greg Kinnear jokes that appear throughout the series.
Peter: You Can't Touch Me
Peter's song "You Can't Touch Me" is a parody of MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This."
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