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Stewie is addicted to the British hot children's show "Jolly Farm Review" based on Mother Maggie, a benevolent figure who looks after kids on a farm. Brian makes fun of Stewie for watching the show, but Stewie is determined to visit Jolly Farm in England because he thinks he belongs there. He stows away on a British Airways jet, which he assumes is headed for London. Brian tries to drag Stewie off the plane, but before he can, the plane takes off. When the plane lands, they discover that they are in Saudi Arabia are stranded in the middle of a desert with no passports or resources to get out. As luck would have it, Brian and Stewie encounter a Comfort Inn in the middle of nowhere and manage to steal a hot-air balloon to fly home, but the contraption falls apart over Italy, just as the Pope is about to address the masses. Brian wants to head home, but Stewie insists on finding the Jolly Farm in England. When they finally get to England, Stewie runs onto the set of the show. His fantasy is crushed when he encounters only a set full of props and disgruntled people, including Mother Maggie.
Meanwhile, Lois and Peter travel to KISS-stock, where Lois embarrasses herself because she doesn't know the lyrics to a KISS song. She redeems herself though when it's revealed that she once hooked up with band leader Gene Simmons!
Peter turns the attic into his own personal man cave while Stewie sends Brian into his subconscious to help him deal with his first nightmare.
Lois fears that Stewie needs to learn how to be social, so she sends him off to Pre-school, where he falls in love with Janet, a girl who likes his cookies. Meanwhile, Lois becomes a flight attendant, and Peter takes advantage of the free flights.
After robbers enter into the Griffin house, the family tries to gain safety in Peter's panic room. Trapped with no way out, Peter decides to tell his family the history of their ancestry by narrating a chain of events that describe his family's past.
While working at the post office, Lois discovers a letter Peter wrote to his old girlfriend, who tries to get back in Peter's life after Lois talks to her about the letter. Meanwhile, Stewie pretends that he's rich in order to impress his new friend.
Brian and Stewie travel back in time to the very first episode of the series.
Meg is recruited as a model for an industry that caters to a certain group of fetishists, while Brian and Stewie hit the road together when the latter decides to see what the world is like outside of preschool.
Stewie and Brian rev up the time machine to help Chris pass his history class, which leads to the three of them getting stuck in the past.
Peter and Carter go to Africa to get back their money after being swindled in an e-mail scam while Brian falls for a friend of Meg's.
The Griffins go on a road trip and wind up in Springfield where they meet the Simpsons. Stewie becomes fascinated with Bart's pranks, Lois bonds with Marge, Meg is taken under Lisa's wing and Peter argues with Homer over which brand of beer is best - Pawtucket or Duff.
When Peter overloads his phone with apps, he gets a new one and gives the old one to Chris. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie join a tennis club.
When Meg travels abroad to Europe, her exciting adventure comes to a halt when she gets kidnapped. Brian and Stewie embark on an action-packed mission to find her before it's too late.
In the Season 13 finale, Peter is surprised to discover the Bahamas vacation Lois booked is actually a marriage-counseling retreat. While back at home, Carter watches the kids and is flustered over the fact that they would rather play electronic games than ones that would require actual old-fashion participation.i,m to good 4 you
Stewie becomes smitten when he meets a girl who happens to be the female version of himself. Meanwhile, Peter and Quagmire take their friendship to a new level.
When Brian uses Stewie's time machine to impress women whom he meets at bars, he accidentally causes time to run in reverse. So he and Stewie must figure out how to restore the forward progress of time before Stewie is unborn.
Peter and Quagmire encourage Joe to have an affair with a young woman named Nora to get back at Bonnie for having an affair. Things get ugly when Bonnie finds out, and Peter must find a way to get them back together again. Meanwhile, Peter has a run-in with the Chicken.moreless
Brian starts dating a blind girl and things get a little dicey when she divulges that she hates dogs. Meanwhile, the Griffin family installs a new staircase in their home when Peter keeps falling on the old one and decides to live upstairs full-time.
Peter and the guys take a stand against their wives and flee to the Deep South on a road trip. On the way there, the men earn a one-way ticket to jail. But when they decide to make a run for it, Joe's quick planning and Peter's seductive ways help them escape. Meanwhile, Lois spends some quality time with the girls and they engage in childish antics.moreless
Hoping it will inspire them to come up with horror movie ideas, the guys visit an abandoned asylum. Instead of finding inspiration, they wind up accidentally killing a man they mistakenly believe is holding them hostage and each of them tries to pin the murder on one of the others. Meanwhile, an annoyed Stewie wants to destroy Brian's glasses because of how pretentious Brian acts whenever he wears them.moreless
On the return from an adventurous day at an amusement park, the Griffins' car breaks down in Amish country and they are stranded with no way out. When Meg falls for an Amish boy, the Griffins then find themselves in a crusade against the conservative locals.
When Peter and Chris go away to fat camp, they cross paths with a serial killer who targets overweight kids. Meanwhile, Stewie is traumatized by the frightening cover of a Queen album.
Chap Manor: A British version of the Griffin family and the rest of the Quahog citizens.
Fatman & Robin: Peter wishes that everyone in town could be just like Robin Williams so he has the ability to turn everyone in Quahog into Robin Williams by touching them, but chaos comes after Peter when there are too many Robin Williams.
Point of Stew: You get to see Stewie's point of view in this entire segment.moreless
When Peter decides to become a famous actor, he becomes Tom Tucker's agent as his first step toward stardom. Meanwhile, Chris dates a girl who looks disturbingly like a member of the Griffin household.
The Griffins decide to climb Mount Everest after their competitive family friends announce their ambitious plans to hike the legendary mountain. However, things go awry when the Griffins get stuck on the mountainside in the middle of a massive storm.
Stewie gathers scores of Brian's former girlfriends to get to the bottom of why he's unsuccessful in love.
When Meg finally turns 18, Quagmire seizes the opportunity to pursue his next romantic conquest. As the new couple's relationship blossoms, Peter stops at nothing to come in between his daughter and his creepy friend.
Overwhelmed with financial troubles, Mort asks Peter and Quagmire to help him save his pharmacy. However, things take a turn for the worse when the trio decides to burn it down to collect insurance money.
To boost Chris' self-esteem, Peter and Lois send him to space camp. When camp ends and the Griffins come to pick Chris up, they accidentally are launched into outer space, and it's up to Chris to land the clan safely back on earth.
Lois competes in a boxing match. Peter is Lois' manager.
After Lois's father, Carter, falls asleep while driving, the Griffins realize he is getting close to retirement, and visit retirement communities in Florida.
The Mayor is put on trial for murder and the jury must decide if he is guilty or not.
When Stewie's new best friend falls ill, Lois takes him to the hospital where she finds out he has a critical, but treatable, disease. However, the boy's parents refuse treatment due to their religious beliefs, leaving Lois no choice but to take drastic measures to seek treatment for the boy herself. Meanwhile, Peter has a religious experience of his own.moreless
On a Halloween-themed night, the Griffins are selected to have their television viewing habits monitored. But Peter takes his participation too far when he tries to control the airwaves.
The criminal who, years ago, shot Joe and left him in a wheelchair, becomes a fugitive. So, Quagmire,Joe and Peter team up to hunt the bad guy down.
The Griffins join a country club, but end up getting kicked out.
When Brian discovers that Carter Pewterschmidt's pharmaceutical company is withholding the cure for cancer from the public in order to gain more profit, he and Stewie plot to expose the big secret that could change the world. Meanwhile, Quagmire reveals a hair-raising secret of his own.
Lois cooks a big Thanksgiving meal and invites the whole crew over for dinner, and Joe is shocked when his formerly M.I.A. son, Kevin Swanson, returns from Iraq.
Brian writes a play that's a hit in Quahog, but his confidence is shaken when he reads a play Stewie wrote that's much better than his. Soon, Stewie's work is Broadway-bound, causing a rift between the two.
After Peter's favorite children's television show gets cancelled, he takes matters into his own hands by creating and starring in his own show for kids. Meanwhile, Meg begins an internship at the hospital with Dr. Hartman.
When Peter and the guys try to salvage a sunken Mercedes-Benz, Peter half-heartedly promises a favor to a helpful dolphin. Soon the dolphin moves to Quahog, outstays his welcome at Peter's and moves into Cleveland's house across the street. Peter tries to reunite the dolphin with his ex-wife in hopes that he'll return to the ocean, but his plan backfires and the whole dolphin family moves into Cleveland's.moreless
Lois is not looking forward to her birthday, but Brian suggests throwing her a surprise party. After Peter reads a poem that lowers Lois spirits even further, she decides to turn her life around by adopting a different, younger lifestyle with longer hair after a makeover and shopping trip.
Jerome is none-too-happy with Chris dating his daughter, Pam, which leads the two kids to run away, necessitating that Jerome and Peter team up to find them.
Stewie will stop at nothing to recover Rupert after he is recalled.
After Quahog City Hall threatens to shut down Peter's illegally-run business, Peter joins the Tea Party and successfully campaigns to shut down the government. As a result of all the chaos in Quahog, Peter's father-in-law, Carter, reaps the benefits.
Meg loves this boy at school and they act well together. The only problem is...he's gay. Now Meg must find out if he is gay or a misunderstanding.
Peter and his pals undertake a global search for God and ask that He stop influencing the outcome of pro-football games.
Peter, Quagmire and Joe take a road trip to Canada but their private plane crashes and Peter goes missing for two months. When his family finds him, he no longer can communicate intelligently.
Quahog is getting more and more dangerous and, after being robbed, Peter decides to buy a farm to avoid more bad things happening to his family. It turns out they become part of the problem in this new house of theirs.
After Horace dies, the guys try to save The Drunken Clam.
When Meg catches Chris stealing from Lois' purse to buy a pair of designer sneakers, she blackmails him into doing her chores. He soon gets so fed up with it that he leaves home, and he moves in with Herbert. Meanwhile, Stewie takes a liking to the music of Anne Murray.moreless
When Peter, Quagmire and Joe visit the Harvard University campus, Quagmire accidentally marries a prostitute. In order to get out of his marriage, Quagmire pretends to be lovers with Peter.
Peter decides to adopt a falcon. Meanwhile, Lois receives a job as a voiceover artist, but not for the work she originally believes.
Peter tries to show Carter how great Christmas is after he cancels the town's Christmas carnival out of sheer hatred for the holiday.
When Brian's son, Dylan, becomes a big TV star, Brian uses him to secure a writing job on his show rather than bond with him. Meanwhile, Peter shoots Quagmire in a hunting accident, and it threatens their friendship as Joe must choose between them.
Ryan Reynolds pays a visit to Quahog and becomes obsessed with Peter. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to be a big boy and steals the family car for a joy ride but lands in a bit of trouble.
A storm hits the towns of Stoolbend, Quahog and Langley Falls. To help pass the time and calm his nerves, Brian consumes some questionable substances and has trouble sobering up. Meanwhile, Meg goes off the deep end after the family takes one too many jabs at her.
After a near-death experience Peter decides to convert to Islam.
Peter tells Stewie his own versions of famous fairy tales such as Jack and the Beanstalk, Little Red Riding Hood and Cinderella.
When the Griffins win the lottery, the extravagant lifestyles change the family for the worst, alienating them from their friends, but when they blow through their winnings, they only have their friends to turn to for help.
After spending some quality time with Chris, Carter decides to make him the heir to his entire fortune. Peter becomes jealous because of this and starts sucking up to Chris in hopes of getting close to the money.
When Quagmire suffers an accident, he learns that his sister Brenda needs help, so he asks Peter and Joe to kill her abusive boyfriend, Jeff.
Peter is convinced that a placemat in a restaurant is a real treasure map. Word spreads around Quahog about the alleged treasure, which sparks a city-wide search, turning the residents of Quahog against each other.
To take advantage of the airline's low fares, Lois buys the family tickets to Italy. While there, Peter decides the family should stay abroad and become Italians. But when they decide to return to America, they find out it's not so easy regaining their citizenship.
Peter becomes a stay-at-home dad after getting fired from his job at the brewery, which seems to remove him of his manhood.
Peter discovers he has a vestigial twin growing out of his neck. It's not long before Peter starts to resent the fact that everyone loves Chip more than him, so he decides to amputate his twin. However, when Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever.
Quagmire becomes a sex slave.
Peter tells his own version of the Nativity story as the family prepares for Christmas.
Meg spills her lunch on the new kid, Michael, who is appropriately nicknamed “Mental Mike.” When he sets the date for her end on Friday, Meg tries to get out of it. Meanwhile, Peter continually harasses Brian in the nude until it escalates to the breaking point.
After Stewie permanently destroys his time machine, an unexpected death changes the Griffins lives forever.
Peter and Quagmire decide to become a singing/songwriting team after finding out that they sing great as a duo. But Peter soon creates tension between him and Quagmire when all the fame goes to his head.