Family Guy

Season 5 Episode 18

Meet The Quagmires

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM May 20, 2007 on FOX
out of 10
User Rating
521 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Death grants Peter's wish to go back in time to 1984 when he was 18, but only for one night. He ends up bailing on a date with Lois to hang out with a movie actress. When he returns to the present, he soon realizes that everything is anything but normal, as he is now married to the former actress, and Lois is with Quagmire. Meanwhile, Stewie, Chris and Meg have also taken on Quagmire's charming characteristics.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Awesomeness

    Best finale ever.
  • Perfect season 5 finale :)

    Death grants Peter's wish to go back in time to 1984 when he was 18, but only for one night. He ends up bailing on a date with Lois to hang out with a movie actress. When he returns to the present, he soon realizes that everything is anything but normal, as he is now married to the former actress, and Lois is with Quagmire. This was a perfect episode and to end the season. There's only four perfect episodes. :( I wish it's would be more than that, but oh well. At least this season was an improvement over season 4. Also, this is last time Death is in an episode until Friends of Peter G. I enjoyed the storyline and I'm glad to see PxB (Peter and Brian) pair throughout the episode rather than BxS (Brian and Stewie). I want more upcoming episodes like this again. There are a lot of funny moments so I'm gonna list the LOL ones: Horace (bar owner) falling out then Death appears, Peter eventually hanging out with an actress, Lois is married to Quagmire, the Quagmire version of Meg, Chris, and Stewie, Ms. Pac Man, Peter dancing while going da da da da at the club (twice but he messes up), Jetsons sequence, and of course, the ending where Roger the alien from American Dad appears. My favorite line was Brian saying to 18 year old Lois "I would eat your poo." As much I as I hate Brian's love for Lois (because it made me roll my eyes at those jokes) this was the best one. Overall, a really funny episode...great way to end the season. 10/10moreless
  • perfect

    Death grants Peter's wish to go back in time to 1984 when he was 18, but only for one night. He ends up bailing on a date with Lois to hang out with a movie actress. When he returns to the present, he soon realizes that everything is anything but normal, as he is now married to the former actress, and Lois is with Quagmire. Meanwhile, Stewie, Chris and Meg have also taken on Quagmire's charming characteristics.

    I liked everything about the episode, i reccomend it to any fan of the show.

  • Good episode.

    This episode was like one of the best episodes made by the creators of Family Guy.I loved it when Peter was playing Ms Pac-Man and she yelled at the ghost for following her.That was like the funniest moment of this episode.I loved it when Peter punched the Chicken while dancing and that guy said that he will never see him again.I defently loved that part or any other part in this episode.It was a very funny episode and it was a very best episode made by one of the funniest shows made by a best very good super made show.moreless
  • Love This Episode!

    I love when shows have these type of time travel episodes. I just love the overall genre of time travel. Its interesting to see it and how every show may take on the subject. Peter is really numb (I'm trying not to use "dumb"!).

    Its seems Lois would be the woman to end Quagmire's "Dog days" as shown by the alternate future. I love when Death appears. He's really funny! The Jetson's skit was awesome! He really owned his wife! Seeing the future better without Lois and Peter was really interesting and funny! Stewie, Meg, and Chris as Quagmire's kids would look..................interesting, lol! Overall really good episode and one of my perfect favorites, especially the Back to The Future parody!moreless
Alex Borstein

Alex Borstein

Lois (and various)

Mila Kunis

Mila Kunis

Meg (season 2+)

Seth Green (I)

Seth Green (I)

Chris (and various)

Seth MacFarlane

Seth MacFarlane

Peter / Stewie / Brian / Quagmire / Tom Tucker (and various)

Mike Henry (VI)

Mike Henry (VI)

Cleveland/Herbert/Performance Artist/Greased-Up Deaf Guy (and various)

Luke Adams

Luke Adams


Guest Star

Beth Littleford

Beth Littleford


Guest Star

Mark Hentemann

Mark Hentemann


Recurring Role

Chris Cox

Chris Cox


Recurring Role

Johnny Brennan

Johnny Brennan


Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (9)

    • In Latin America, "The Jetsons" was translated as "Los Supersonicos". However, the subtitles during the presentation of them, included the original names, instead of the translated ones:
      -George Jetson (Super Sonico).
      -Jane Jetson (Ultra Sonico).
      -Judy Jetson (Lucero Sonico).
      -Elroy Jetson (Cometin Sonico).

    • The song that is played at the dance at the end of this episode is called "Earth Angel", originally sung by The Penguins.

    • When Peter and Brian turn on The Tonight Show, it's the afternoon; however, The Tonight Show airs at 11:30 PM.

    • Peter and Lois couldn't have been 18 years old at the same time. It was mentioned in "Let's Go to the Hop" that Lois is 2 years younger than Peter.

    • The movie Zapped was released in 1982, not in 1984.

    • The first time Peter goes to 1984, he is hanging out with Cleveland and then Lois comes up. However, the second time, Lois comes up to Peter, but Cleveland is nowhere to be seen. Neither are the background characters.

    • Peter is 5 foot 10 inches tall

    • If Peter was 18 in 1984, that means he's 41 now. But in the episode "The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou", Lois said Peter was 43. Also, in the episode "Brian goes Hollywood", Stewie said Peter was 42.

    • This episode conflicts with two other episodes with flashbacks (Peter Peter Caviar Eater, and Death Lives). Cleveland and Quagmire didn't know Peter until after he met and started to date Lois.

  • QUOTES (15)

    • Lois: Peter, what are you doing?
      Peter: I love you, Lois Pewterschmidt! And I won't let Quagmire, or any man, she-male, robot, or sentient robot, curious about it's own existence keep us apart!

    • Lois: Peter used to be so passionate, but now he doesn't seem to be interested in me.
      Quagmire: Lois, if I may, Peter doesn't you. As a friend, I think you deserve to be with someone who knows how to be a gentleman.
      Lois: Oh, Glen. You're so sweet. (They embrace) Something's poking me.
      Quagmire: It's alright. It's just my wang.

    • Death: It was nice meeting you, Miss Ringwald. I'll be back later for your career.

    • (Lois walks out of Quagmire's house to pick up a letter from the mailbox)
      Peter: Lois, what the hell? I'm gone for one night and you sleep with Quagmire?!
      Lois: Mr. Griffin, what I do with my husband is none of your business.
      Peter: Husband?
      Quagmire: Morning, Pete. Hope you and Molly can still join us for dinner tonight. Baby, Let's go play "Schoolgirl & Guy Who Has Sex With Schoolgirl".
      (Lois giggles)

    • Peter: (inadvertently punches the giant chicken)
      Some guy: Oh whoa big guy,(holding the giant chicken), you probably never even gonna see him again.

    • Radio: Stay tuned for President Ronald Reagan's weekly radio address.
      Peter: Ronald Reagan? The actor? He's president?
      Brian: Peter, you're the one from the future, you should know - ah, forget it.

    • Quagmire: Hey Lois, I'm ready for your pie. And you made dessert too, oh!

    • Lois: Meg, stop staring at Mr. Griffin. I'm sorry Peter, I'm afraid she has her father's libido.
      Quagmire: What can I say? I'm a Vagittarius. Oh!
      Chris, Meg, and Stewie: (all laugh) Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity.

    • (Peter is talking with Brian, about returning to the past to correct the present)
      Peter: I don't care what it takes, Brian. I gotta get Lois back somehow.
      Brian: Well, the only one who can help us is Death, and he only shows up when somebody dies.
      Peter: Ah, that's gonna be tough. With President Gore's Universal Health Care, people are living much longer these days.
      Brian: And with Zero Tolerance gun control and a strong, well-funded educational system, there's no street crime. Face it, Peter, you not marrying Lois was the best thing that ever happened to the world.
      Peter: I don't care! We gotta find a way to summon Death, and quick!
      (Jane Jetson falls out of the sky to the pavement, dead)
      Peter: Well, that might do it.
      (Death appears)
      Peter: Death, oh thank God you're here! Listen, you gotta send me back in time again, so I can marry Lois!
      Death: Man, it's been a busy day. Dick Cheney, the chairman of Haliburton, shot Supreme Court Justice Scalia in a hunting accident, and the bullet went right through him and killed Karl Rove and Tucker Carlson.
      Brian: Oh my God, Peter, you can't marry Lois!
      Peter: I don't know who any of those people are.

    • Molly Ringwald: Hey, did you guys hear on the news about President Gore hunting down and killing Osama Bin Laden with his bare hands?
      Lois: I know! Who would have thought Bin Laden was hiding out in the cast of MADtv?
      Quagmire: Man, the perfect hiding spot. The one place no one would look.

    • (Horace tries to fix T.V. but falls down, hits floor hard. He stops moving)
      Bar patron: Oh my God! Is he dead? I think he might be dead!
      Death: Oh, did you hear that? Noah Wyle here thinks he might be dead. Step aside junior. (Walks to Horace and pokes him with his scythe) Nope, he's just knocked out. Damn! I drove all the way out here! I had to cancel another appointment! Never like to be too far away from Mike Wallace.
      (Cuts to Mike Wallace using a type-writer. Death is sitting in a lounge-chair reading a newspaper behind him. Mike stops typing, and Death looks up from his paper. Mike resumes typing and Death goes back to reading his paper)

    • Peter: Let's just all be grateful things are completely back to normal again.
      (Roger from American Dad walks on screen)
      Roger: Who ate all the Pecan Sandies?

    • Brian: You ever hear of the theory that if you kill a butterfly in the past, it can drastically alter the present? Well who knows what else we changed.
      (Peter turns the TV on)
      Announcer: Tonight on the Tonight Show, movie star George Clooney.
      Peter: Oh, he's good.
      Announcer: Comedian Dave Chappelle.
      Brian: He's funny, like him.
      Announcer: And musician Harry Connick Jr.
      Peter: Wow, what a show.
      Announcer: And now, ladies and gentleman, heeeeeeeeeere's Chevy!
      Peter: Oh god Brian, we messed up bad! We messed up real bad!

    • Brian: (to 18 year old Lois) Could I 'Wham' my 'Oingo Boingo' into your 'Velvet Underground'?

    • Cleveland: Hey Quagmire, how was your date last night?
      Quagmire: Cleveland, it was amazing. You know what I discovered last night? Women have a fourth hole.
      Joe: What?
      Quagmire: Yeah, I mean it's only visible if you're looking from exactly the right angle, like the entrance to Hogwarts. But ya gotta believe that it's there.
      Peter: Man, I envy you single guys. No families, partying whenever you want. These are the only people I get to party with. (holds out his wallet, with a picture of the kids)
      Quagmire: (Pointing to Meg) Oh, that's where the fourth hole is, right there. Right there in the back of the knee.

  • NOTES (4)

    • On the original airing Brian says to 18-year-old Lois "Could I 'Wham' my 'Oingo Boingo' into your 'Velvet Underground?". However, in the [adult swim] version, that line is replaced with "I would eat your poo."

      Quagmire's line to Lois about playing "schoolgirl and guy who has sex with schoolgirl" was also changed from the original airing. It became "Hide and go anal."

      Another Quagmire line that changed slightly was at the dance when Lois asks what was poking her. In the FOX airing, Quagmire replies "It's just my wang." In the [adult swim] version, wang was changed to penis.

    • Director Dan Povenmire states that a line from Molly Ringwald was removed from the final cut. The line that Molly said was "I like to hook up with random bar guys, it helps me get the taste of Anthony Michael Hall out of my mouth."

      Another scene cut from the original airing, was when the '80s guy told Brian that he could kick his ass anytime, anywhere. Brian replies, telling the guy to meet him on top of the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001 at 8 a.m.

    • According to the staff, the final scenes in this episode were added on May 19th, 2007, the final night before originally airing.

    • This episode has two directors due to the fact that original director Dan Povenmire left the Family Guy staff in mid-production to work on his own television show on the Disney network.

  • ALLUSIONS (16)

    • Back to the Future

      Another reference to the original Back to the Future is when Peter exclaimed "Ronald Regan? The actor?" This was the same reaction that Doc Brown had when Marty McFly met him in 1955. The joke here was that Peter was already from the future and should have known that Ronald Regan was President of the United States in 1984 (of course he could just be that ignorant)

    • Back to the Future Part II

      When Peter wants to know what happened with his life, Brian brings out a chalkboard to show him how he screwed up time. This is a reference to "Back To The Future: Part 2", when the old doctor explained to Marty McFly how changing something in time got his father murdered.

    • Sixteen Candles

      A poster for the movie Sixteen Candles (starring Molly Ringwald) is seen in Peter and Molly's living room.

    • The Jetsons

      The opening title sequence to the show was parodied. The Jetsons was a prime-time American animated television series produced by Hanna-Barbera Productions.

    • Beverly Hills Cop

      At the bar, Cleveland and Peter are dancing to "Axel F" from the 1984 Eddie Murphy movie "Beverly Hills Cop."

    • A Sound of Thunder

      Brian's Comment about "killing a butterfly in the past changing the future" is a reference to the Ray Bradbury short story A Sound of Thunder (made into a movie in 2005 starring Edward Burns and Catherine McCormick) in which some time traveling hunters do just this, and end up causing major changes to the future.

    • Never Gonna Give You Up (song)

      After Peter punches out Quagmire and gets Lois back, Brian, who replaced a performer on the band, sings "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley (in reality, this song was written by him in 1987, while in this episode, Rick's cousin Marvin calls him about it in 1984...suggesting that Brian inspired the song, much like Marty did with Johnny B Goode in Back to the Future).

    • The Twilight Zone

      The episode of The Twilight Zone that Peter talks about is The Eye of the Beholder.

    • St. Elmo's Fire

      The Drunken Clam back in 1984 was known as "St. Elmo's Clam", an obvious allusion to the movie St. Elmo's Fire. However, the movie was released in 1985.

    • Harry Potter

      Quagmire mentions the entrance to Hogwarts, the school from the highly popular book and movie series Harry Potter.

    • Beat It

      The dance the boys are doing at the Country Club dance is from the Michael Jackson video Beat It.

    • American Dad

      At the end when Peter says that he's thankful everything is back to normal, Roger from Seth MacFarlane's other show American Dad appears.

    • Back to the Future

      When Peter tries to win back Lois at the dance, it's very similar to the Enchantment Under the Sea dance scene in the movie Back to the Future, even down to the photo Brian is holding up with the kids disappearing. Another reference is Brian playing a song while a singer contacts his cousin, just as Marty played Johnny B. Goode while Marvin contacted his cousin Chuck Berry. Further reference to the movie is Peter being shocked Ronald Regan is president, just like Doc.

    • Quantam Leap

      The blue light that accompanied Peter, Death and Brian traveling through time was similar to the effects on Quantum Leap. A show about a scientist who travels through time fixing things that had gone wrong.

    • Back to the Future Part II

      When Brian is explaining to Peter about the alternate timeline, using the blackboard, it's exactly the same way Doc Brown explained the skewed timeline in the movie Back to the Future Part II.

    • Caddyshack

      The scene where Lois dives off the diving board into the pool is just like the scene in Caddyshack when Lacey dives into the pool, including the song Mr. Night by Kenny Loggins.